Jason closes his journal... Thanks!! I love you!!

[2dream]

Congats on the new contract. I wondered what that big swishing sound I heard all the way down here in MS. It was you going "Whew".

You are getting a lot of strawberries. Mine are producing but not much. They are putting on lots of runners and I am expecting big things next year - but this first year is slow.

 

[modern_pioneer]

I wondered what that big swishing sound I heard all the way down here in MS.

That might have been me saying sorry, I wasn't short tempered mind you, I was just trying to figure out why my basket didn't work for you is all.

 

[modern_pioneer]

I am going to talk about something that I haven't mentioned in my recent postings. When it comes to talking about children, it just seems to get complicated, peoples points of view.

Today, having the day off I spent it fooling around here, did some quotes, did some Honey do list stuff that needed attention. I had a great time messing around here today, I know it helped me have a laugh when I needed it most.

I had a verbal dispute with Dale last night with regard to my daughters safety while in his care. I was the aggressor, and to be honest, I think I was wrong because I allowed it to churn to long before I addressed the issue. That being said, in my defense I didn't want to over react when it happened.

I drove over to Dales to get the kids on 18 June in the evening, often we allow our kids to visit/play at each others houses. Before this, there has never been a problem, ever. I drove over on my tractor, which the kids love to ride in the wagon.

Dale was mowing his lawn, and I drove to him to gather the little ones. To me he said they were off in the woods, pointed, so there I went. As I was driving over, some big dude stepped out of the woods, and my kids came out from the woodline.

Who was this dude? I had never seen him before, why are kids in the woods with this dude? Why are my kids in the woods with this dude?

I waved to the kids and shouted "our call" and they came running to meet me. I scolded them right away for not calling home to tell us that they were going off to play with some new kids. Of course we don't have new kids around here, and I was just furious.

We got home and I told the kids to go upstairs and get ready for dinner, I wanted to tell DW what I saw in private.

All the drama left out here....

I find out that dude is a 17 y/o playing in the woods with my 9 y/o daughter. NOT ON MY WATCH....

17 y/os know to much, and 9 y/os don't know enough.

I called Dale who kinda blew it off saying how well he knows the boy, he was up visiting from MD for two weeks. How well does Dale know him? It didn't matter to me, his judgement was lacking regardless.

I let it go, and haven't allowed the kids to go over to Dales since. By now the two weeks have past, so we let the kids go over to play with Dales kids. It was seemed harmless, not putting Dale on the spot here, but he invited DD to go camping and told DS he didn't have enough room for him to go.

I think that was funny because there has never been an issue in the past w/ DS going along.

So I had words with him last night, my point was other than allowing a 17y/o boy to play with a 9 y/o girl alone in the woods, I can't get my head around why DS was always invited before, and now theres no room for him now? Its not like he got fat.

Allowing a 17 y/o child regardless of gender, to play with a 9 y/o child is just bs.....

 

[freemotion]

Trust your instincts, dad.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

Well the decent thing would have been for him to say, "Oh hey, 17 yo is up visiting us. This is how we know him. Would you have a problem with him playing with your kids?" (and not in the woods!)

Sheesh.

17 yo boys-----------too many hormones!!!!!!!!!!

 

[modern_pioneer]

Well the decent thing would have been for him to say, "Oh hey, 17 yo is up visiting us. This is how we know him. Would you have a problem with him playing with your kids?" (and not in the woods!)

Sheesh.

17 yo boys-----------too many hormones!!!!!!!!!!

See thats my point, he doesn't seem to get it. Now I would say the camp thing I have an issue with because I don't trust his judgement now.

Your correct, it would have been ok, not in the woods, or alone, not to far away from adults supervision.

 

[2dream]

I wondered what that big swishing sound I heard all the way down here in MS.

That might have been me saying sorry, I wasn't short tempered mind you, I was just trying to figure out why my basket didn't work for you is all. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v386/themetalpeddler/gifs/sorry.gif

No need to be sorry - its sure not your fault MS is home to the fire ant brigade. LOL (Any raised bed, flower pot or apparently potato basket is a potential target).

Now for your daughter. Ummmm....I am with you on this one. Sounds strange that DS is not invited. Without reading your whole journal again does Dale have a daughter? Is he just planning a girls trip?

As for the 17 year old. Was it a large group of kids or just your DS, DD and the 17 year old. I have raised 4 boys and one girl. (3 stepsons) I know your pain. 3 of those boys would have played with and entertained your DS and DD and had a ball doing it. The other one I would not have trusted with a dead goldfish much less your children. Heck, I did not even trust him with my children. Its why he got kicked out of the house at 17.

The only thing I can tell you from my end would be to make sure you talk to your daughter and she understands that their are mean people in this world. (I am sure you already have but I still have to say it).
Its really a shame that children have to know these things but in this day and time it really is a must.

I also think that most people that don't have little girls do not understand the fears and concerns that go with them. Then there are the trusting souls out there that just always assume "Nothing will happen". There is a fine line between over protection and protection and to much trust and not enough trust. Being a parent sure is tough these days.

I was so thrilled when my kids finally grew up - now I have grandkids to worry about.

 

[modern_pioneer]

Without reading your whole journal again does Dale have a daughter? Is he just planning a girls trip?

No just a boy he's 8 y/o

As for the 17 year old. Was it a large group of kids or just your DS, DD and the 17 year old.

Group, 5 boys and my dd, ages 8, 9, 13, 13, 17

I also think that most people that don't have little girls do not understand the fears and concerns that go with them.

You know I expressed my conern to him over this issue, he didn't brush it off, but said he wouldn't allow the 17 y/o to play with the dd out of his sight.

I feel like, in some respects, I am making a big deal of this especially the camping issue. However, my DD safety and well being is most important to me, and I am not willing to risk that even if it makes me look like a jerk. Dales friendship is not as important to me as my daughters.

I wasn't even going to mention this here, but I know most of you have kids, and have raised your own. Looking to others for advise, because I am on the inside looking out (to close to the problem), not to mention emotional based issue.

 

[ticks]

Wow, that is just horrible. I would trust your instincts if it seemed a little off, follow up. Ask your Daughter, son, etc. What happened if you are suspicious. IMO, I would not let your DD go camping with those people alone.

 

[freemotion]

Well, I don't have kids of my own, but I have spent many, many hours over the years helping women and children who were molested.

A nine-year old is not old enough to use wisdom and stay out of a bad situation. Actually, many women who are grown are not! Teach your daughter to NEVER be alone with any member of the opposite sex except you and your son. That still allows for a lot of freedom, but within safety.

We don't allow our chickens freedom if they won't be safe.

We don't allow our dogs freedom if they won't be safe.

We don't allow our cats freedom if they won't be safe.

Trust your instincts, and err on the side of caution. There will be no regrets. Never leave your kids with ANYONE who does not watch them with as much vigilance as you do.

I have spent too much time.....far too much. Hence my strong opinions on this. There are not enough parents like you, who are willing to stand up and protect your kids even if it makes you unpopular.