Ladies....help me out on this one UPDATE

[Beekissed]

I have found, besides some physical reasons, mostly my libido is affected by my mental state. A gal just has to be into it in your mind and I've also found that the more one does it, the more one wants it....seems to increase the hormonal drive the more you shake your groove thing!

Adequate rest, regular exercise, feeling appreciated and desired, having a good imagination and a positive self-image seem to be the best ways to increase desire~at least in my world.

Lori...I'm sooooooo sorry! I can't imagine going 6 years without the big O...especially self-induced!

 

[Mackay]

Thanks ladies, this has been going on for YEARS. When I told my OB that I wanted my hormone levels checked she told me to go higher on my antidepressants and see a shrink. Told me that most women my age with libido issues usually relate to mental issues.

Your doctor ought to see a shrink. She needed her inflated ego shrunk down to size

Um, gee, thanks for making me feel like I'm crazy. I'm just about over doctors in general. I may go back to my family dr. and see if she'll do some more tests.

May be a good idea. Look for a naturopath with a 4 year post graduate degree. You know, they do have prescription rights, so they can help you in most ways a doctor can but they prefer not to use drugs and usually have lots of alternatives. They can also do the bio-identical hormone thing also, but like doctors, they tend to specialize in that or not so you have to ask when you first call.

Hubby gets really angry cause I never feel like doing ANYTHING. Nothing gets me "going" and I haven't had the big "O" in at least 6 years and no, not even by myself (trust me I've tried the oh, 3 times I've been alone for more than 5 minutes in the last 5 years).

I'll just bet this is a testosterone issue.

He just doesn't understand how I can't get excited about it EVER.

Count your blessings that he sticks by you. You have a good man who obviously deeply loves you. You would do well for yourself and your man and your whole life to get a handle on this situation.
Life is so much better with the big O, even though the idea may seem repulsive right now. I went through some of this after the birth of my second. It took several years for sex drive to come back and when it finally did it wasn't the same as before. I actually had to work at it mentally. Not until I started bio-identical hormone replacement have things gotten right.

Its not all in your head. Your head has a body attached to it.

 

[Javamama]

When I told my OB that I wanted my hormone levels checked she told me to go higher on my antidepressants and see a shrink. Told me that most women my age with libido issues usually relate to mental issues.

It makes me so crazy and sad to hear that! There can be so, so many other things that are causing the problem. This was how I was treated too, and it made me turn away from the American medical system. I dumped my doc, weaned myself off of everything - I was on antidepressants for postpartum depression that never went away, and started reading everything I could find. The antidepressants made me feel dead inside. I didn't feel sad, but I sure as heck didn't feel anything else either. B vitamins and magnesium made a huge difference!
Best book I read at the time was "What you Doctor Won't Tell You About Peri-Menopause" by Dr. John Lee. I highly recommend it for every woman, no matter what age or what life stage you are in.
Find a doc who will test your hormones and treat you not just by how your tests look, but by how you feel.

 

[Mackay]

Find a doc who will test your hormones and treat you not just by how your tests look, but by how you feel.

And thats exactly it! Not everyone fits into "normal" ranges on homones. One naturally oriented medical doc I went to along time ago told me that doctors undermedicate for hypothyroid because they base their prescriptions on "normal" ranges that she thought were not normal at all.

She looked at my labs and she looked at how I was FEELING and even though the labs said I was OK she knew I was not and made her best educated guess that it was still thyroid... and she was right.

I was low normal in my range and she put me on a herbal thyroid booster for a while. It did the trick and I have long ago stopped taking it. Now I am middle range noramal on my tests, even before I started taking iodine. So there are many ways to look at a situation.

I also found out that a normal range for one person in their testosterone may be sub normal for another.

 

[abifae]

yeppers. last time i had tests run everything was normal. everything was about .1 from too high or too low. LOL!!! but since it was in range, the doc called me perfectly fine and told me i was being a neurotic girl.



have i mentioned i no longer have insurance, refuse to get any, and haven't seen a doctor in about a decade?

 

[Mackay]

Ut Oh. Refusing to purchase insurance may soon be a crime. Get ready!

 

[Wifezilla]

Abi and I are criminals and rebels.

 

[Mackay]

me too!

 

[abifae]

I'm hoping I'm poor enough to fly under the radar hahahaha.

 

[FarmerDenise]

No insurance here either, none since 2000.
I don't have any sex drive either. None, zip, nada. No matter how hard I try, can't see what all the hoopla is about, but sure would like to find out
Well there has been the rare occasion when I experienced something rather nice, but fireworks, rockets, volcano's..? no...