Lorihadams-- hi guys...been busy!

[lorihadams]

My problem is...and I told this to my therapist last night....that my children are spoiled rotten. I have a husband that has taught them that every time he goes somewhere that he will get them a prize. Whenever he comes home, just from work even, then they will say, "Daddy, where's my prize?" They are so used to getting what they want that they have come to expect it. I am working on making a chore chart/point system for both of them so that when they do a certain amount of stuff then they get to have a certain amount of money to spend on a toy or candy or something. I want to teach them to have a work ethic and be self sufficient and independent people that don't have the I want stuff mentality.

I love my mother and grandmother and MIL to death but they are not helping. Everything they see that they think is cute, they buy. To make matters worse, they buy 2 of everything so that my kids don't have to share anything. Are you kidding me? It's a good thing that I have an attic to put all the duplicates in!

I'm also working on being able to sit down with them and try to reasonably have a conversation about not buying them everything they see. I told my mom at xmas that I was limiting everyone to 3 gifts per child next year and she laughed in my face and said "yeah, right". We got my kids 4 gifts a piece this year. That's it.

My grandparents had to rent a uhaul to bring xmas presents to my house! I'm not kidding!!! Then my parents' car was packed to the ceiling. I don't want to think about what it will be like when they are teens...

The bad thing is that all I can think about is that if I had all the money that they spent on junk that just clutters up my house and then breaks the second time my kids play with it I could start putting money away for college. My kids already have more in their savings accounts than we do and when i ask people to just give them money they all say, but that's no fun. AAAAAAHHHHHHH!

 

[keljonma]

You could explain Toys for Tots to your kids. Tell them about kids their ages that do not have any toys to play with. Then let them each pick one or two of the new toys to re-gift to a child without.

 

[MorelCabin]

My parents always bring Christmas with them too:>) LOL! I have this neat and tidy tree with just a few gifts under it (because I have always liked to keep Christmas to a minimum) and then they come in and fill my whole living room with package after package!
When my kids were little they had a toybox...whatever didn't fit in that box went to someone elses house! We spend most of our time outside anyway.
When we went to the mall or the grocery store the ones who behaved got to pick a candy at the counter on the way out AFTER the shopping was done. Whoever didn't behave didn't get any. My poor oldest NEVER got any...and he's still bad to this day...so did it work...it did on the other two:>)

 

[lorihadams]

Just put the chickens up...only got one egg today

Put some extra shavings in the coop cause it's supposed to get into the 20s and maybe even teens the next week. Got all of the animals tended to this morning but will probably have to clean out the rabbit bedding aka poop box tomorrow morning. Went to the new consignment store last night and they had a lot of nice things but it was truthfully, a little on the high side, I thought. I passed up a lot of stuff just because I thought I could do better at Goodwill.

There's a new little thrift store that I want to go to...the sign out front just says Thrift Store. That tells you how little it is but it's right in the middle of Powhatan so I am hoping they might have some nice things. We'll see.

Just put some beans in some water to soak overnight. All this talk of freezing weather has got me wanting a big ol pot of veggie soup with some deer meat cubed up in it...yummy! I may try to make some rolls or french bread to go with it.

I can't wait for warmer weather. I had to bust up all the water buckets this morning and then headed off to sam's club to get dog food and milk. Figured while I was there I may as well get extra for the boys cause they always run out first. Maggie's seems to last forever but their's is gone like that *snapping fingers*

Gonna fix tacos tonight!!! I have been craving spicy food lately...hope I'm not preggers again...got boneless buffalo wings in the deli counter last night when I stopped at the grocery store and just ate them cold on the way home. Of course there was nothing leftover for me for dinner when I got home last night...Chad never seems to think about ME wanting to eat too.

The funny thing about me cleaning out toys is that my kids have so much that they don't even notice. My granny has 2 huge rubbermaid containers at her house. I bet I could clean those suckers out and only have half a container left...so much junk and the kids never even play with it. There's so much in it they can never find what they're looking for anyway.

Don't even get me started on the toy box. I have a place for everything and a container for every "subject" i.e. Little People, tractors, cars, creepy crawlies, board games, musical instruments, etc. Chad's idea of cleaning up is to throw everything in there loose and try to sit on the lid to get it shut.

I am the neat one, can you tell? His shed looks exactly the same. Makes my papa and daddy crazy when they come to help him with a project. He piled up about 10 white t-shirts on the floor last night and I asked him did they need to be put away or what and he says that those are for the rag pile. Now, what do your shirts look like when they go in the rag pile? I bet not like these. I bet I could hang every one of them back in the closet and he wouldn't even notice. Makes me soooooooo mad but at least I know where my kids get it from.

 

[PamsPride]

They are so used to getting what they want that they have come to expect it. I am working on making a chore chart/point system for both of them so that when they do a certain amount of stuff then they get to have a certain amount of money to spend on a toy or candy or something.


****Sorry, I can't remember how old your kiddos are but, I am going to have to respectfully disagree with you on this. (Just giving my opinion, it is your children so whatever works for you is best!)
I would never pay my children to do chores in their own home. It is their job and part of their responsibility to help and be part of the family which includes cleaning up after themselves and helping to clean up after others in the family. It gives them a sense of belonging and pride in the house and family. They get to take some responsibility for how the house and family runs which gives them pride. They eat in your house, they get to wear the clothes that you bought so they need to take responsibilty for setting the table, cleaning off the table, cleaning their own room (if they can not show responsibility for their own toys they should not have them), taking their own clothes to the dirty laundry pile, putting their own clean laundry away....at the very least!! If they never learn these things at home they will never do them for themselves when they move away to college or suddenly be expected to do these things the day they turn 18 if they have never been trained.
I have no problem with saying "if you get your room cleaned within 20 minutes you can have a piece of candy but, if it takes you longer then no candy." And stick to it!! Again just my opinion.

 

[keljonma]

Ohhhh, I think I'd be hanging those tshirts back up the minute he left the room

 

[lorihadams]

Hmmmm...I never thought about it that way. Thanks, you just saved me some money, muuuhhaahaahaahaaaaa!

I have been trying to get them to clean up after themselves and at this point I almost have to make it a game of sorts. They will put their clothes in the hamper, Tyler will kind of dress himself (do dress socks and nothing else count?)if I lay out his clothes but he does pick out his underwear and pjs himself,maddie loves to pick out her own pjs but can't get them on herself without some help yet, I need to make them set the table, they help me put laundry in the washer and dryer if weather is bad, I do let them help run my little vacuum cleaner and sometimes help me cook simple stuff.

What age did you start chores? Tyler is almost 4 so he can totally do stuff but Maddie is not quite 2 so she can't do as much.

 

[MorelCabin]

At two and four it should be a 'game' to help clean up. They can help you pick up thier toys, and maybe bring clothes down to the laundry room, but don't expect too much of them at that age. Mine started helping with dishes and things around 6 or 7. At the ages your kids are they don't have the capacity to really be 'responsible' for amything on thier own yet.
I would suggest perhaps making up a clean up song or finding a kids tape that has one and play it while they pick up...and they should be 'done' by the time the song is over. They'll never get done in time at first, don't expect it, everything is a learning process, but once they learn the song they will develope a sense of time as well...

 

[Beekissed]

Regular chores are a fact of life, so I never gave money for them.....a person could go bankrupt, as chores need done every day. BUT, if it was a big job that was over and above a regular chore...like, say, washing my car and detailing the inside~THAT got some money...not a big amount, but a big amount to them!

I started my kids out that young, Lori, so it would be sort of a habit later on and not such a shock to their system that, all the sudden, they were expected to contribute! Not too young at all!

Then I would make them feel really important for "helping" me and brag on them to everyone I met about it! As a result, I can now leave a list of chores in the morning, if I have to go somewhere, and find them done when I get home. And that's with teenage boys! It wasn't always as easy as that sounded, but it was sure worth the work and screaming!

They make homemade bread and crockpot beans, do dishes, clean house and do laundry, as well as outside chores. Cleaning their rooms is always a challenge, as I've come to believe~to a certain extent~that their environment should suit them. I'll let them be messy and have their little haven for awhile, then I have to put a clothes pin on my nose, venture into the bear's den and lay down the law!

As for the excessive gifting...I'd put the hammer down on that item and be very firm on it. One small gift per child and the rest of the money be put into their college funds. School costs big, big money and there is never enough, even though you think there will be.

 

[PamsPride]

Yep, almost 2 and 4 are great ages to start!! I even rearranged my 6 yo closet last summer...he shares with 9 yo...so that his clothes were on the bottom and 9 yos were on the top...9 yo could now reach the top of the closet...so that 6 yo could get out his own clothes and hang them up himself.