Lorihadams-- hi guys...been busy!

[rebecca100]

Wow it sounds like you and I are a lot alike! Down to even the same cell plans and internet! LOL We dont have a landline either. I am in the same boat too about sex drive only I don't have pain. DH and I discussed it yesterday. He asked what he could do to make me enjoy it and I told him that I just didnt know. I wish I did know what would make it better, but I don't. Made me feel horrible that he was trying and I didn't know what to say. I have noticed that if I am REALLY not in the mood it does hurt sometimes. Perhaps the stress is causing you not not want to and causing the pain? You are definately not alone in all this! I hope everything starts getting better for you! BTW I have had my tubes tied and it hurts like a bugger that time of the month since I had it done with no difference in drive.

 

[AnnaRaven]

1. Get thee to a doctor and get checked out. Including your hormone (testosterone) levels. Tell the doc you're having pain (for those who are).
2. Lube is a wonderful thing.
3. Spend some time experimenting on your own - finding out what your triggers are. For some it's certain kinds of touch, for others it's certain fantasies. Try a variety of techniques, including toys, as necessary. Once you know, share that info with your hubby.
4. Even when I'm not up to intercourse - DH and I will sometimes share in him masturbating to orgasm. And sometimes just being involved with him getting excited will get me aroused.
5. Get enough sleep. Find a babysitter or something and go out just the two of you. Set up a date night, where you spend time with each other. Doesn't have to be fancy, but just something for the two of you.
6. I agree that a drink (one small glass (but not much more) of wine or 1/2 ounce of gin) can sometimes help.

Good luck and

 

[Denim Deb]

I could be wrong, but I'm almost positive she's been to a doctor, not just one, but several, and they've basically told her it's all in her head.

 

[TanksHill]

I know you have been working on this problem for a while now. i wish I could help. I'm sorry.

g

 

[aggieterpkatie]

Lori, I'm certainly not in a position to "tell you what to do" but I am wondering if maybe sending your son to public school in the fall would be the best thing for your family right now. It sounds like you're overloaded, and especially with him wanting to go it would give you a chance to take some responsibility off your place. It might be worth at least a shot. If your sanity and your marriage is suffering at the cost of all you have to do, is it really worth it?

That's just my idea though, and you're certainly welcome to tell me to shut it.

 

[lorihadams]

Well, the replacement ducklings came this morning....they sent two extra so I got 8 in the mail today so now I'm up to 32. I told hubby that he needs to send his buddy a bill for everything and tell him to get me a check cause I put it on the credit card and need to get the money in the checking account to pay it this month. They are so small! I hadn't realized how big the last batch had gotten since we got them until the new ones came. I had to put a partition in the brooder (old truck bed with lattice on top)and put the heat lamp in there with the babies cause the older ducks were picking on them. Crawling on all fours inside a brooder full of ducks is NOT a good time. The older ducks should be okay without the lamp, the temps are pretty good and they can huddled together for warmth without me worrying about them suffocating one another.

Today we go shopping with the electrician to get all the supplies for him to start on the garage and barn on Monday. He says that it should be done by the weekend! Hubby is renting the trencher Saturday to dig the trenches for the lines and we are putting a water line in to the pasture while we have the trench dug. We will be putting in a frost free faucet at the corner of the goat pasture right outside the barn and across from the chicken pasture. No more connecting 3 water hoses together from the house to water all the animals and the garden!

I set up the bouncy house for the kids outside cause today it is only supposed to be in the low 80s and too windy and cool to go to the pool. Tomorrow it is supposed to rain so I did 3 loads of laundry and got it on the line this morning in between making pancakes and running to get the ducks.

I got everyone's father's day cards in the mail this morning too. Met up with my BF yesterday to get the summer calendar lined up. Yes, she is that busy. We have $1 kids movies every week until mid august at the local movie theater so we picked what movie we are going to see and scheduled everything. We also penciled in story time at the library, summer reading program for our older children, and VBS. Our church is also offering a relaxed soccer camp for the older children and since Tyler and BF's DD are both 6 they are eligble so we may do that too since it is only $25 for the whole session.

She also has a friend that has a pool at her house and her husband just got deployed to Afghanistan for another year and she is going to her parents to visit for a few weeks and needs someone to dog sit and keep up the pool so we are gonna do it for her! We are also trying to plan what we are doing for the annual 4th of July party at her house in 2 weeks. I think I will bring the bouncy house again cause last year it was a hit with the kids but it has seen its bettter days...I'm sure we have some leaks in it and the kids are getting bigger so we may not get much more use out of it.

As for the issues we are having, last night we tried sex and it still sucked but I did it, even though all I wanted to do was sleep. I am going to try to find another OBGYN because I don't feel comfortable with my old one anymore. Our insurance will only allow for 1 visit per year unless there is a medical issue like pregnancy or need for surgery or such. I have gone off the pill and hubby has had a vasectomy so that's not it. I have had my hormone levels tested before but she told me that they were all within normal limits even though my general dr. told me my testosterone was low. My OB said she was an idiot because I was still on the pill and that is what the pill is supposed to do. Yeah, getting another dr. this year.

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate all the feedback.

 

[lorihadams]

So I lost a baby duckling yesterday and this afternoon I went out and found another one flopping around on death's door.

So we got the bigger ducks out into the chicken tractor and let the little ones have the brooder to themselves. They seemed to enjoy being able to run around but it was a stinky mess getting everyone transfered out.

I am bracing myself for dinner guests...crazy cake lady and her family are coming over for dinner. We were supposed to go to her house but my husband called and asked if she could bring everything over here so I wouldn't have to leave after an hour to go milk. We would have had to eaten and run or driven two cars. So when I got home from the library/park I got lunch done and started cleaning the house (long overdue, btw) and shucked some corn to contribute to dinner. Now I'm just waiting for my clean house to be invaded.

I don't know what to do about my mental state. Hubby tried taking my son to the gym with him, knowing they don't allow anyone under 15 in there. I asked him why he just didn't put him in the child care room while he worked out and he said "I'm not putting my kid in day care." Maddie is napping so he figured he'd give me a break but that didn't work. He also made me an appointment to get my hair done Saturday for my birthday.

Now, I appreciate it, don't get me wrong but I'm trying to let my hair grow out. I don't know what to do. If I tell him to cancel then he's gonna be pissed but if I go and don't do anything to my hair he is gonna be pissed and I'll be out the money for a trim that I don't want.

I am having control issues. I just feel like everything is spiralling out of control and I'm just ready to explode. He asked me what was wrong with me and I told him I'm tired. I am mentally tired. I am tired of the kids, I am tired of him, I am tired of my life. I just feel like I'm lost for some reason. Nothing seems right. I hate the way I feel. I feel like I'm walking around in a constant state of mental breakdown. I have literally felt like crying all day long.

He asked me what he could do to make it better and I don't know. Why do I always have to know what is wrong with me and how to fix everything? Why do I always have to be so miserable. I love my family but I swear I just find myself yelling at everyone all the time. I keep withdrawing but I can't withdraw cause I have my children 24-7. When my children are in bed then I have my husband all over me. I just want to lock myself in a closet and cry.

 

[pinkfox]

mabe you can ask him to cancel the hair and pay fomr some other kind of pampering for you, a masage, a facial something that would be more of a mental break but still let him feel like hes done a great thing...

even better if you can make it seem like his idea...

tell him how your not sure yet what you want to do wiht your hair and youd hate to spend the money and not be completly satisfied...but man your jonsing for a spa day...

or if your not a massage/facial kinda gal, mabe theres something else youd prefer, but make sure its somethign for you...a YOU day...

*hugs*

 

[framing fowl]

Whew. Take a deep breath. You're right, you don't always have to know what is wrong. Finding a different doctor is a step toward finding someone that can tell you. Remind yourself of that.

As for the hair appointment, rather than getting a trim, can you get one of those high powered hair conditioning treatments and a style? The conditioner will leave your hair soft and glossy. Having someone else style your hair, even if it is just a blowout can make it look different without an actual trim. I think it was Loreal power dose that I used to get.

 

[Denim Deb]

Lori, I get days like that. Basically, what you need is a me day, a day when you don't do anything for anyone but yourself. For me, that involves either going canoeing or horseback riding, both things that I enjoy, and don't have anyone making demands on me. When was the last time that you had a chance to get away from everybody? If you're not sure, it's been too long.