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ohiofarmgirl
Sipping Bacon Martinis
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So I really was very touched when all y'all were crushin' on my hubby. I have to say that I'm pretty darn lucky and he is as good as I make him out to be.
So I imagine, since I talk about him all the time, I should tell you all know how I got The Big Man. Its easy. But complicated. Well its easily complicated. Hows that?
Simply put, I've loved him since we were 15... maybe a smidge before. We were in shop class together... and me and my best friend, locked him and his best friend in the tool shed. We girls were In Trouble with the teacher, let me tell you that much. But I think that started it. As a random note, both of our best friends were red heads and they didn't particularly like each other. Anyway.
So we were high school sweethearts. One of the teachers pulled me aside one day during our senior year and told me that technically he won The Coolest Car and I won The Best Hair but everybody wanted us to The Cutest Couple...and so we were. We were also on Homecoming Court and Prom Court. My Best Hair was spectacular and we cruised up in his Coolest Car and we were really something.
It was funny because we weren't part of the popular crowd in fact, you know me, I was always giving the finger to what was popular so we became the de facto leaders of the regular folks and led a rebellion against the cool kids, such as it was.
But all things, including high school, end. And so we parted ways. Me, for my college and him for his university in different states. The long distance thing lasted just short of a year.
Fast forward about 10 years after that geez that's been about 15 years ago. I was living my software life on the Left Coast. He was living in New Mexico. We found each other again and met half way in between for a kind of reunion. In Vegas. For exactly 14 hours. But what happens in Vegas cant always be left there.
So we commuted between the desert and the ocean for about 18 months.
But he was extremely stubborn and refused to move to the city. So we parted ways again.
Life went on. My big life got bigger... and in the course of his own life he eventually left the desert and went back to the family farm in Ohio.
Then one day I was sitting in a dreadfully boring training class for some new fangled techno-whizbang, legal beagle, people finder. I soon glazed over and wandered from the assigned syllabus and started messing around with the people finder. Golly. You can find just about anyone anywhere... say.. I wonder where The Big Man is living...
I figured he and his lovely wife and 2.5 kids were still in the desert. But a small town in Ohio kept popping up. I knew it was him because, being a keeper of useless facts, I remembered part of his social security number. So there he was. And there I sat in that class. And I then remembered his old email address... hum....
All y'all know how this goes, right?
So I sent the first email and this is about how it went:
Me: Is that you?
He: Yep
Me: I'm looking at the farm with this new google map thingy.. I think I can see the farm house.
He: Well, I'd better go get pants on then.
It turned out he wasn't married with 2.5 kids. He never married, and his only fault was that he was a Republican... but I could overlook that even if I was in the bluest state on the map.
We corresponded. We caught up. I planned to visit my sister in Ohio and we agreed that maybe he could make the 2 hour drive and meet for lunch?
Instead of the expected happy reunion for the second time in our path together.... my family suffered a private tragedy. But he showed up anyway. He helped. He stood in the gap. He was the rock that kept me, and us, from slipping apart. He held my hand. He shouldered the weight for all of us. It was a lot to ask from someone I hadn't seen in so long.
During that time I considered buying a house near my sister here in Ohio and since he was in construction I asked if he wanted to go and check it out with me. It was a lovely older Victorian and I probably would have signed the papers right then... but you know how everyone hopes for that Hollywood moment? When the story comes together and the music is swelling and he and she are standing there and the sun hits them just right and.. and... and...
Me. I LOVE this house its perfect! Can you think of any reason why I shouldn't just buy it?
He: Because you should come and live on the farm with me.
And that was that. All those long years of being apart were gone in that instant and our fate was sealed.
After that we had our exodus from my life in the city, the move into the old farm house, and then on one perfect summer day in June we got married.
We wore shorts and so did our family. The pastor gave us the blessing and pronounced us under the crab apple tree in the back yard that one of the grandmothers had planted. The sun shined, the rooster crowed, the dog barked, and everyone cheered. We had BBQ and cupcakes under a tent in the yard between the corn fields.
Now the only problem with being with someone that you grew up with is that you are no longer a mystery. At all. I hate that he has me all figured out. Unlike others, he doesn't flinch when I'm extra scary and trying to get my way he laughs at me. Try to start an argument? It's no use. Pick a fight? Nope. He doesn't go for that either. Tell him how wrong he is? He just says that he's happy being wrong. Tell him to go sleep on the couch? He says Great! Its just like camping!
Its infuriating.
And then there's the matter of how we always have the same thought. At the same time. Have your own thought! YOU have your own thought! Stop it! No you stop it! For heaven's sakes.
Pretty much there is no sense in even talking anymore we just grunt. Its easier and faster. We already know what the other is going to say.
We even had all the same movies so I sold mine at the big garage sale when I sold my house.
So here we are. Two old fuddy-duddies who know the same jokes, have the same books, and know the same, stupid obscure trivia. We've each taken to taking to the poultry because at least they don't already know all our stories.
And that's how I got The Big Man. Again. I guess the third time is the charm?
But if I think about it.,. there were some funny moments at the wedding.. but that is another story entirely.
So I imagine, since I talk about him all the time, I should tell you all know how I got The Big Man. Its easy. But complicated. Well its easily complicated. Hows that?
Simply put, I've loved him since we were 15... maybe a smidge before. We were in shop class together... and me and my best friend, locked him and his best friend in the tool shed. We girls were In Trouble with the teacher, let me tell you that much. But I think that started it. As a random note, both of our best friends were red heads and they didn't particularly like each other. Anyway.
So we were high school sweethearts. One of the teachers pulled me aside one day during our senior year and told me that technically he won The Coolest Car and I won The Best Hair but everybody wanted us to The Cutest Couple...and so we were. We were also on Homecoming Court and Prom Court. My Best Hair was spectacular and we cruised up in his Coolest Car and we were really something.
It was funny because we weren't part of the popular crowd in fact, you know me, I was always giving the finger to what was popular so we became the de facto leaders of the regular folks and led a rebellion against the cool kids, such as it was.
But all things, including high school, end. And so we parted ways. Me, for my college and him for his university in different states. The long distance thing lasted just short of a year.
Fast forward about 10 years after that geez that's been about 15 years ago. I was living my software life on the Left Coast. He was living in New Mexico. We found each other again and met half way in between for a kind of reunion. In Vegas. For exactly 14 hours. But what happens in Vegas cant always be left there.
So we commuted between the desert and the ocean for about 18 months.
But he was extremely stubborn and refused to move to the city. So we parted ways again.
Life went on. My big life got bigger... and in the course of his own life he eventually left the desert and went back to the family farm in Ohio.
Then one day I was sitting in a dreadfully boring training class for some new fangled techno-whizbang, legal beagle, people finder. I soon glazed over and wandered from the assigned syllabus and started messing around with the people finder. Golly. You can find just about anyone anywhere... say.. I wonder where The Big Man is living...
I figured he and his lovely wife and 2.5 kids were still in the desert. But a small town in Ohio kept popping up. I knew it was him because, being a keeper of useless facts, I remembered part of his social security number. So there he was. And there I sat in that class. And I then remembered his old email address... hum....
All y'all know how this goes, right?
So I sent the first email and this is about how it went:
Me: Is that you?
He: Yep
Me: I'm looking at the farm with this new google map thingy.. I think I can see the farm house.
He: Well, I'd better go get pants on then.
It turned out he wasn't married with 2.5 kids. He never married, and his only fault was that he was a Republican... but I could overlook that even if I was in the bluest state on the map.
We corresponded. We caught up. I planned to visit my sister in Ohio and we agreed that maybe he could make the 2 hour drive and meet for lunch?
Instead of the expected happy reunion for the second time in our path together.... my family suffered a private tragedy. But he showed up anyway. He helped. He stood in the gap. He was the rock that kept me, and us, from slipping apart. He held my hand. He shouldered the weight for all of us. It was a lot to ask from someone I hadn't seen in so long.
During that time I considered buying a house near my sister here in Ohio and since he was in construction I asked if he wanted to go and check it out with me. It was a lovely older Victorian and I probably would have signed the papers right then... but you know how everyone hopes for that Hollywood moment? When the story comes together and the music is swelling and he and she are standing there and the sun hits them just right and.. and... and...
Me. I LOVE this house its perfect! Can you think of any reason why I shouldn't just buy it?
He: Because you should come and live on the farm with me.
And that was that. All those long years of being apart were gone in that instant and our fate was sealed.
After that we had our exodus from my life in the city, the move into the old farm house, and then on one perfect summer day in June we got married.
We wore shorts and so did our family. The pastor gave us the blessing and pronounced us under the crab apple tree in the back yard that one of the grandmothers had planted. The sun shined, the rooster crowed, the dog barked, and everyone cheered. We had BBQ and cupcakes under a tent in the yard between the corn fields.
Now the only problem with being with someone that you grew up with is that you are no longer a mystery. At all. I hate that he has me all figured out. Unlike others, he doesn't flinch when I'm extra scary and trying to get my way he laughs at me. Try to start an argument? It's no use. Pick a fight? Nope. He doesn't go for that either. Tell him how wrong he is? He just says that he's happy being wrong. Tell him to go sleep on the couch? He says Great! Its just like camping!
Its infuriating.
And then there's the matter of how we always have the same thought. At the same time. Have your own thought! YOU have your own thought! Stop it! No you stop it! For heaven's sakes.
Pretty much there is no sense in even talking anymore we just grunt. Its easier and faster. We already know what the other is going to say.
We even had all the same movies so I sold mine at the big garage sale when I sold my house.
So here we are. Two old fuddy-duddies who know the same jokes, have the same books, and know the same, stupid obscure trivia. We've each taken to taking to the poultry because at least they don't already know all our stories.
And that's how I got The Big Man. Again. I guess the third time is the charm?
But if I think about it.,. there were some funny moments at the wedding.. but that is another story entirely.
Ahhhh!!!!!
So you locked him in a tool shed???
You should write for Hallmark....
