Rebecca's journal-may be time to restart this

[hillfarm]

does he work in this heat? My DH is an absolute arss when he works in this mess for ten hours a day for 6 days a week. Doesnt like the way I keep house, the kids are slobs. he's the only one who does anything. blah blah.

But the rest of the year, total saint. Could he be overtired? Over stressed. Sometimes thats a biggie.

If you suspect cheating, thats a big red flag. I learned a long time ago that if you worry he might, its a good chance your intuition is right. Id get a lil nosey, find out what he does if he has any spare time and watch what he's doing. Is he shaving or grooming more?

I hope its simply he's overstressed and being a jerk. That can be forgiven and worked threw.

Best of luck.

 

[abifae]

Good point, Hillfarm. I know *I* am a jerk in this heat lol.

 

[MorelCabin]

How old is he? I know when my hubby was approaching his 50th life was hard on both of us...he went from being easy going, and saintly to being plain miserable and demanding and not happy. It lasted a few months and although it is much better, he now has an opinion...which he never had before either.
You just let him know that you love him forever no matter what...dont get mean back and don't give him any excuses to go out and have an affair.
My husband has always acted like my SS things were something to keep me busy too, and I just go along with the idea...why not?
Just keep loving him through it, I can bet he needs that more than ever right now, that is why he is so out of joint right now...he feels something is missing...so fill it in for him

 

[rebecca100]

He wasnt being a jerk about it. He was very calm and nicely told me he was tired of us. I asked him if work was stressing him. I know that working 12-18 hour nights is hard and he only got one night off this week. But the thing is that he CHOOSES to work like that. He goes to work even when he doesn't have to. Like yesterday he got up early and sat around the house, said he was bored and went to work early. He goes to work during the day when he has the night off. Normally he is in general a rear end, but the last week he has been nice. That's what first gave me a heads up something was wrong. Yesterday he unloaded a round bale off his truck and put it in the horse pen by himself without complaining or popping off and without me even asking while I was gone. He wasn't angry, just matter of fact. We haven't had an argument in months. I don't really think he's been cheating, but he kept insisting we hadn't done anything wrong, which made me think he felt guilty about something. Either way there is something that he's not telling me, he didn't just up and decide that he was unhappy with us for no reason. It is totally out of character for him. Just doesn't make any sense!

 

[rebecca100]

Dh is 32.

 

[lorihadams]

Okay, so I can sort of understand it but not. I went from working 6-7 days a week to being a full time stay at home mom for 6 yrs now and it is a hard adjustment. I am on the other side of that. I went from having friends and grown up time and my own money to having none of that. I have days when I don't want to be here, honestly, but I just have to get over myself and step back a bit. Hubby knows this and has been better about understanding when I need space and why.

Sometimes when you are used to being in a situation and you come up a notch (the money thing) it can change your perspective. That may be what has happened. Having money and seeing what life could be like with a different crowd with different core values and different lifestyle could have changed what he thinks he wants. It may be a freedom thing...he thinks that this new lifestyle would give him freedom to do what he "wants" to do and not what he "has" to do. I'm not justifying it or saying it is okay but that may be part of it. If you think he is cheating then ask him. Maybe you guys need to get a babysitter and go out to dinner and talk without any distractions and ask him to get to the point and tell you what's going on.

I hope everything comes to light and works out darlin'...

 

[MorelCabin]

Would you be willing to forgive him if he did make a mistake? Obviously he hasn't been having a long term affair or anything...but maybe he is feeling guilty about something...and now he might be wanting to push you away a little to justify what he did...completely normal psychological response, really. And maybe you might have to forgive him for something if you have it in you to do so...i will be praying for you both.

And don't be afraid to forgive him..."he who has been forgiven much...loves much"

 

[Damummis]

I am sorry if I am blunt but red flags are going up all over the place. I personally would take matters in my own hand and spy or something. But that is me.

 

[rebecca100]

He just went to work. Acted like everything was fine. I casually asked if he wanted me to have the power turned on at the other place or just see how much it would cost. He said to go ahead and have it turned on. Gave me a kiss and left. I thought about checking his phone yesterday before all this happened, but I know he's smart enough to delete anything and I didn't want for him to catch me snooping on his phone. I'm going to call his mom and see what she thinks of all this. I know it will be a shock to her like it is me.

 

[Damummis]

Good Luck!!! Be strong.