Rebecca's journal-may be time to restart this

[rebecca100]

Well it is over. I see a lawyer in the morning. He said he wanted out. I went today and got some money and opened a new account in my name only. My heart is broken . I thought we would be together when we were old. He said he wanted to leave last year. I'll admit that I did everything but beg him not to go. We got married 4 days after I turned 18. In a couple months it will be October. I think he's lost his mind. He has always been a loving caring husband despite being an occasional butt. I tried to get him to explain what went wrong. What I did to make him unhappy. Middle dd has cryed her eyes out. Ds doesn't seem too worried and youngest dd is still too small to know. I just can't make any sense of it. I've never been on my own and always relied on him as my strength. I'm scared to death too. I don't drive very well and have no family since my parents died and precious few friends since I stayed at home and took care of the kids.

 

[Henrietta23]

 

[MorelCabin]

Well if it is really over, and he did it the way he did, don't you dare let him get away cheap. Responsibilty doesn't end just because you leave the house...
You will gain your strength, i can only imagine how scared you must be, having been a stay at home mom all my life, and being very dependant on dh for everything, I have no idea what i would do if dh suddenly decided to get up and leave.
Will be keeping you in my prayers

 

[glenolam]

 

[i_am2bz]

I've never been on my own and always relied on him as my strength. I'm scared to death too. I don't drive very well and have no family since my parents died and precious few friends since I stayed at home and took care of the kids.

I can't add much to what all the great, supportive people on this forum have already said...but did want to say that you are MUCH stronger than you can possibly know. When I split from my first husband (who was a controlling, abusive jerk) I was also scared to death because we had been together since right out of high school. I didn't know how to "be" by myself (plus my family was 800 miles away). Long story short, it was a scary time but I ended up finding out how strong & resourceful I really am. Doing things "by myself" gave me a lot of self-confidence. (In fact, I had to think long & hard on whether I wanted to re-marry; if DH #2 wasn't so laid-back I'd have never done it.)

Hang in there, girl.

 

[BeccaOH]

I'm very sorry you don't have parents to lean on. How is his mother taking all this?

When my nephew decided to split from his wife, our whole family was floored and never could understand why. He wouldn't talk to anyone. I did talk to his wife some about it. She loved our family like her own. Now nephew is determined that his family "divorce" his wife like he did and cut all ties. We can only see his son on his terms. He remarried fairly quick and I still haven't met the new wife (and she is now expecting). It really stinks for us all to have this happen in our family.

I would hope that his family could help you emotionally in some way, but I know their hands may also be tied.

 

[MorelCabin]

I've never been on my own and always relied on him as my strength. I'm scared to death too. I don't drive very well and have no family since my parents died and precious few friends since I stayed at home and took care of the kids.

I can't add much to what all the great, supportive people on this forum have already said...but did want to say that you are MUCH stronger than you can possibly know. When I split from my first husband (who was a controlling, abusive jerk) I was also scared to death because we had been together since right out of high school. I didn't know how to "be" by myself (plus my family was 800 miles away). Long story short, it was a scary time but I ended up finding out how strong & resourceful I really am. Doing things "by myself" gave me a lot of self-confidence. (In fact, I had to think long & hard on whether I wanted to re-marry; if DH #2 wasn't so laid-back I'd have never done it.)

Hang in there, girl.

Sooo true! Not only do you not know how to be b yourself, you probably don't even know who you really are as an independant person apart from your husband, I know i sure don't...but i have seen many women get out there and become who they really are...and surprised the heck out of me! Many of them are thier own bussiness owners now...and doing better financially than they ever did as a family. So you stay strong and see the future as an opportunity, because in reality, that is exactly what it is!

 

[keljonma]

I have been there and my advice would be think things through thoroughly and don't do anything based on your emotions. Every decision you make has to be in the best interest of your children and you. Some day the children will be grown and on their own. They will see how you and your husband behaved during this time of separation, divorce, and life after.

Our prayers are with you Rebecca. Lean into God. Your Father is always there. He will show you the right thing to do everytime.

 

[old fashioned]

you will get thru this

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

Rebecca, I'm so sorry. I'm crying for you, with you, and for your little ones, too.

I am praying for you, your children, and your DH. there's no advice I can give, not having been there as a spouse, but I can understand what your children must feel right now because as a child, I was in their shoes.