Self hatred

[Wildsky]

I wasn't sure where to put this but I wanted to discuss it and hear everyone's thoughts.

I've noticed over the years for a long time, the media etc. promoting womens self hatred of themselves and their bodies/functions etc.

I don't have the perfect body, and like all other women the cycles an be annoying at times, but in no way do I want to change anything. Why should I NEED bigger body parts? Or skinnier legs or smaller waist?

It really bothers me. Apparently nobody has the perfect size breasts, and a womans menstrual cycle is to be hated and if at all possible put to a stop.
Why do people do this? I can't imagine standing and looking in the mirror and hating everything I see - what does that do to a person's health, if a particular part of the body is HATED and loathed like that?
How many cases of breast cancer and all the rest of it could be avoided if we all just loved every part of our bodies and the functions and just celebrated being WOMEN?

 

[curly_kate]

This is a great topic, and one that is very close to my heart! I run an afterschool group for girls, and this is one of our main focuses (foci?). Right now, the girls are in grades 3-6, but I'd like to keep with them as they get older. Anyway, the youngest girls LOVE themselves! But as they get older, little by little, something/someone sows seeds of doubt as to how awesome they are. Right now, we're talking about advertising, and I'M sowing seeds of how advertisers just want to make you buy whatever crap their selling, and will say ANYTHING that will make you think you need their product to make you 'better.' As they get older, we'll deconstruct the ads even more.

On a personal note, it wasn't until the past couple of years that I really started to like who I was. I started going to the gym, and I can't say that it was because I liked how I LOOKED more, it was just that I got stronger, and there was more stuff I could do myself. I'm more proud of what I can DO than what I look like. :bun

 

[patandchickens]

Yeah, it's not just women either (although that is a particularly glaring example, I agree). Men are now instructed that they have to look like airbrushed models too; everybody has to look like they're 18-20; and we're all supposed to be living a certain lifestyle that is depicted to us, or we're losers.

I'm not sure you can do much about it except ignore it personally, teach our children to see through it, and favor vendors that do it less.

Pat

 

[curly_kate]

This is really weird, because I have an ad at the bottom of my screen for "shapewear!" I'm sure it's based on words we've used in this post, but how ironic is that?!!

 

[me&thegals]

Your title pulled me in This is something I think of quite a bit now that I have a little girl (6), but Pat's right that males deal with this, too. Already my son will occasionally mention his weight or muscles (age 8). Where does THAT come from?

With no TV or glossy magazines in our home, I think this will probably help, but that imaging is EVERYwhere! Think billboards, ads in the newspaper, magazine covers in the checkout lines...

I would be interested to know if there is less of this problem among SS people. CurlyKate mentioned feeling more comfortable in her own skin after getting physically stronger. I, too, feel more and more happy in my own body the more that body can do, whether doing sports races or hauling wood, growing my family's food or butchering chickens.

Thanks for something to think about!

 

[FarmerChick]

The title pulled me in too, but when I read it, I was surprised to see this post.

We need a Totally Off Topic category.

 

[homestead jenna]

Oh wow...just today somebody sent me an e-mail with a powerpoint in it called "Lies." And it's supposedly funny because it's all these women and you see what they look like fresh-scrubbed, then applying their make-up and then the photo-shoot version. Unfreakin'believable the transformation...but also incredibly sad....that we have THAT to live up to - instead of the before pictures like most everybody really looks.

Just like everything else in this society - everything's marketed, subjected to spin and a price put on it.

 

[Wildsky]

Farmerchick - I actually put this thread in Natural remedies, because I believe the mind is a very strong healer if used correctly.

What I'm trying to discuss etc. is all the negatives thrown our way, and believed and perhaps what effect that has on our health - does HATING a part of your body cause or help along an illness or something like cancer?

I seriously think there is a connection, those very powerful thoughts are certainly doing something.

If you really believe something is going to make you sick - will it?

 

[freemotion]

I think one of the best ways to improve self-esteem is to help others....a lot. Learn new skills and use them to...help others. Teach a child to cook and make meals for a shut-in. Teach a child to sew and make gifts and useful items. Not that the body-image thing is to be ignored, by any means, just thinking that the types of people that give of themselvs tend to be less shallow, and a better influence. I did spend a short time leaning towards anorexia as a young adult.

 

[annmarie]

I believe very strongly in the mind-body connection.
It's interesting this topic has come up because I'm facing my own little personal angst lately. I've never (since being an adult) been the type of person to obsess over my weight too much and like everyone else, I've been through periods of peak physical condition and periods where I've gained a few pounds, but through it all, I've always remained a very healthy active person. I do avoid beauty magazines, certain television shows etc. though because I do find that my self-image really goes down the tubes when I'm exposed to a lot of that stuff. Anyway, to make a long story short, I found out "through the grapevine" that a family member had been commenting that I've "gotten chubby" or something along those lines, after seeing each other during the holidays. When I heard this I hit the roof! I was angry, sad, embarrased, hated myself, you name it. I've had a week to get past it all a little, but it still hangs over my head, and I feel like I'm stuck between this mindset of "I should lose a ton of weight and show her" and "who does she think she is?". It's terrible how emotional stuff like that can be, and no matter what I do, diet like mad or just be happy with the way I am, it'll be awkward for me whenever I see this person now, knowing that she's judging my weight and what I'm eating, etc.
So, that's where I am, and I'll have to figure things out for myself. But one thing I do realize is that no matter how much I want to think of this relative as a total you-know-what, I can't, because I know that I've made comments about people's weight too. So one positive thing I've gotten out of this is I'm going to try to stop myself from that stupid habit. And for anyone reading this with kids who are worried about them also developing a negative self image, try really hard to avoid commenting on people's weight too, because they're listening and processing it all!