The mentality of some people!

[Wifezilla]

I have seen too many people end up divorced and broke because the immature partner causes so much hell for the family, the responsible one finally snaps. Of course, this isn't until there are multiple maxed out credit cards, all the equity in the house is gone, and they have 3 kids and still owe the hospital for at least one (if not all) of the kids.

I have yet to see some toy-obsessed goober grow up. Not saying it's impossible, but I am 46. Just sayin'.

 

[Bettacreek]

I seriously think you might have to seperate your expenses. Don't you think that since he is in debt now and sees nothing wrong with it he will continue to buy things on credit as long as they allow him to? He sounds like a nice guy and a lot of fun. Nothing wrong with that. But as an individual, with your own children, you need to consider the debt you want to get into. You can live together and have seperate bills to handle. You can save your money for things, he can buy his things on credit. But I really wouldn't mesh your funds together or put your name on anything because you will get burned. Sorry if it isn't what you wanted to hear but you did put it out there. I have been on both ends here and I think I know what you are going through except I was silly enough to put my name on things and ended up having to pay for toys bought on credit. Nothing will make you more bitter than paying for his toys. Trust me.

I understand the bitterness. The ex-husband, as I said, spent a LOT of money on DVD's (thousands and thousands of dollars that we couldn't afford). He moved out, and we were supposed to split everything evenly, until he decided to break into the apartment and take most things that were worth money. So, yes, I definately understand the bitterness (it's been a year almost, and I'd still love to clobber him over and over again). As for finances, yes, I definately will not mesh money, until/unless he decides that he doesn't need to buy everything on credit. He has an excellent job, and I will hopefully have an excellent job in another year or two, it just doesn't make sense to pay 7% or whatever per year to have something "now". Instead, you can wait the same amount of time, and have MORE money in your pocket AND have the item. I just do NOT like credit, in any way, shape or form. It's a sham, it's a way to take your hard earned money, and I don't want to participate in it, lol. If it's not necessary, then, well, it's just not necessary.


Tanks, we're hoping to do just that. Pay off the smaller stuff and get that out of the way. Once we pay a bill off, hopefully add that monthly payment to the house or truck payment. Then, when we want new toys (we want a lot of things, admittedly, a small fishing boat, another 4-wheeler, probably another snow-mobile, etc) I will plain and simply refuse to help out in any way if he insists on using credit.

 

[Ldychef2k]

Dr. Laura would ask if you have evaluated yourself to find what it is about you that picks financially irresponsible men. I, of course, completely understand repeating self-destructive patterns. I have no room to talk.

 

[Bettacreek]

I have seen too many people end up divorced and broke because the immature partner causes so much hell for the family, the responsible one finally snaps. Of course, this isn't until there are multiple maxed out credit cards, all the equity in the house is gone, and they have 3 kids and still owe the hospital for at least one (if not all) of the kids.

I have yet to see some toy-obsessed goober grow up. Not saying it's impossible, but I am 46. Just sayin'.

Well, he's not exactly obsessed or anything. I think it is a time issue with him. Time to pay back the old debts. He no longer has any credit cards, and isn't interested in getting new ones. The renovations that he made into the house haven't been borrowed against or anything. So, I think he is learning, just, needs to learn how to SAVE money. He did mention having me handle all of the money, but I worry that I would be TOO strict for him right off of the bat. I've lived without having too much materialistic stuff for a lot longer than he ever did, when I lived with the ex, my expensive toys were fish tanks, fish, animals and such that all brought money back. Everything I owned that cost money had to be something that would hopefully bring money back in. I've learned to love it, and still do it, even though things are better than what they used to be. So, anyways, I would worry about hitting him too hard right off of the bat. As I said, he is slowly working towards being more financially intelligent, but he still needs to learn that he can save money up for something instead. I mean, his credit is alright, it's not bad or anything (it's not perfect either), but if something happens, everything is gone, because everything belongs to the banks. :/

 

[Wifezilla]

if something happens, everything is gone, because everything belongs to the banks

And that is the thing. That good job could evaporate in a second. In fact, any second now if you are watching the news

 

[FarmerChick]

We have tons of toys. My hubby and I are toy people BUT we pay them off rather quickly. It ALL COMES down to: can you afford it for me. If you can, then buy the toys and live like you want to live if that is your desire. If you do not have the money, then a real budget and knowing you can not have everything you desire is a true reality to face.

This is hard to respond because I don't know your relationship with your BF. It is his money and his debt. It is his choice but I don't know the depth of your commitment etc to each other.....so if you are heading down the wedding trail etc. then I would definitely be in his face about a real budget. If you don't think it will go that way or whatever, then let him live his life as he wants.

it is so hard to teach an old dog new tricks (wait you can do that lol) but teaching how to handle money and outlook on life as a person wants to live is hard to do lol

 

[Up-the-Creek]

We have tons of toys. My hubby and I are toy people BUT we pay them off rather quickly. It ALL COMES down to: can you afford it for me. If you can, then buy the toys and live like you want to live if that is your desire. If you do not have the money, then a real budget and knowing you can not have everything you desire is a true reality to face.

This is hard to respond because I don't know your relationship with your BF. It is his money and his debt. It is his choice but I don't know the depth of your commitment etc to each other.....so if you are heading down the wedding trail etc. then I would definitely be in his face about a real budget. If you don't think it will go that way or whatever, then let him live his life as he wants.

it is so hard to teach an old dog new tricks (wait you can do that lol) but teaching how to handle money and outlook on life as a person wants to live is hard to do lol

I agree!

 

[Bettacreek]

if something happens, everything is gone, because everything belongs to the banks

And that is the thing. That good job could evaporate in a second. In fact, any second now if you are watching the news

Lol. Fortunately, that's a slimmer possibility. I was thinking more along the lines of him getting hurt and being out of work for a long period of time. He works at the state prison, which, I don't see it going out of business anytime soon. In fact, they're running out of room, and are hiring more people and opening new prisons.

 

[FarmerChick]

jobs of the future will be jail/prison related lol

as times get worse crimes sure increase lol


We have some old equipment on the edge of the field near a main road, a couple old rusty plows and we had a old horse drawn plow with a seat on it. Yup, it was gone last week. Someone stopped and loaded it up and away it went. Ugh tis the times to come. Needless to say the other old equipment is moved now...lol


oh and to say---that stuff sat there for nearly 15 years before someone decided to steal one.

 

[SKR8PN]

I have been VERY fortunate in having a wife that also enjoys my/our toys, at least for the most part. She LOVED the Harley, and the JetSki's, but wasn't really crazy about me driving a sub-9 second drag race car, 'specially with me having a bad heart. But the doctors OK'd me and I never died behind the wheel!
Thank GOD we both kinda saw what was coming a few years ago and got our financial stuff in order, got the mortgage paid off, sold the Harley(got tired of feeling like a target)sold the race car to pay off the HELOC, so now all we have are the utilities and insurance.