Wannabefree...guess what I got in the mail today!?!?!?!?

[Wannabefree]

Jamester that was a HUGE help buddy.

Thought it would be

IDK I may be a teen but not teenage girl..........

Yeah I know It's okay, it's the thought that counts I'm thankful that you WANT to help

 

[BarredBuff]

Jamester that was a HUGE help buddy.

Thought it would be

IDK I may be a teen but not teenage girl..........

Yeah I know It's okay, it's the thought that counts I'm thankful that you WANT to help

You guys will get it worked out, Ive got faith in ya!

Just dont use nukes

 

[pinkfox]

as a bipolar person...her behaviour doesnt sound quite like the bipolar im used to, more the teenager blues...

bipolar would present itself as a deperssive (meaning she woudlnt argue shed be so down she wouldnt care literally...) or a manic (shed be high as a kite, and typically manics do very silly sometimes dangerous things...)

while it can be genetic, from what ive read here, id say more teenager than biolar, at least right now...

 

[Wannabefree]

as a bipolar person...her behaviour doesnt sound quite like the bipolar im used to, more the teenager blues...

bipolar would present itself as a deperssive (meaning she woudlnt argue shed be so down she wouldnt care literally...) or a manic (shed be high as a kite, and typically manics do very silly sometimes dangerous things...)

while it can be genetic, from what ive read here, id say more teenager than biolar, at least right now...

I tend to agree. Though I do watch for indicators and did with my eldest as well. DD20 more fits the above description than this one.

 

[Woodland Woman]

I have a 14 year old dd right now. You can't tell her much because she thinks she already knows better. She is prone to be a drama queen (likes being in control) and sometimes has pity parties. One thing I have learned is don't feed pity parties. I used to think let her get it all out but the more I let her talk the worse it gets. I don't allow her to speak disrespectfully and I try to redirect with chores. She sometimes ends up with quite a list but she doesn't get to do what she wants until they are complete. I have to stick to it though so she knows I am serious. I recently found a book. I saw it at a Christian book store and I looked it up at the library. It is called Have a New Teen by Friday by Dr. Kevin Leman
I am not done reading it yet but what I have tried seems to be working.

On another note, I lost my mother at a young age and lots of people catered to me. I started to realize I could really push things and people would only "bother" me to a degree because I lost my mother.

 

[Windyhillfarms]

My daughter lost her dad at 13 and trust me she "worked" that! From age 13 through well their 20s they are drama queens, nothing more, nothing less. And it's like a light switch, perfectly fine talking with you and then you look at them wrong, the moon lines up with venus, a fly lands on their nose and WHAM!!!!! flaming drama queen Trust me, you need to develop a defense system now because if you don't, it will just escalate and get more. I understaind you allow her to talk, I did that too. But there were limits. If I said no, that was it, it was no. Period, no discussion. You can tell me all you want about how you disagree; however, once it became anything other than calm two way discussion, it was over. I gave her one warning to tone it down or go spend the hissy fit in her room and if that didn't work, off she went. If she didn't want to go to her room, I left the room. I wouldn't fight with her. If she followed me, I left. I mean literally got in the car and left. Came back 30 minutes later. She soon learned, drama = her alone. It worked like a charm. You basically are teaching her throw a fit = get what I want. And that's AFTER you've had hours of drama. Not worth it, but that's just my opinion.

 

[Wannabefree]

Thanks for the advice Windyhillfarms. I don't necessarily disagree, but am attempting to find a way to be less harsh, considering the circumstances. She is giving up a lot, and I expect some resistance. I'd be stupid not to! No, she doesn't get her way. She has these meltdowns when she doesn't get everything the way she wants it, but it doesn't help her case at all. As a matter of fact, the child knows that if she just shuts her trap, she will get MUCH farther with me taking her ideas more seriously. I think she does it sometimes just to drive me nuts.

I just don't know how to handle all this mess right now. Whatever I said the other night though seemed to work. She did cry again today, but seen it was not getting her anywhere so she quit. Her daddy yelled at her for crying at one point i dunno what he thought that would do At least he did SOMETHING this time though. we have been cleaning out the boys room and decided since it is just a tad bigger that she should take that room instead of hers, to which she started the meltdown alllll over again. We just went and started moving stuff around and left her to fuss at herself. She still fussed believe it or not to herself......alone. Teens are just crazy.

So, we got a good bit done already today, and are deciding on what furniture goes in which room. Lots of moving things to the shed, attic, and other rooms. It is a chore, but I only have 3 more weeks at this point before they do the home study so I have to get it all together. I thought I had some of it done, but then they told us each child, not each room, has to have a chest of drawers or dresser Soooooo, yeah, working on it lol! That means two dressers or chests in the boys room. DD thankfully does not want one. She doesn't use all the drawers, and so we'll get her a small bin for socks and unmentionables and store it in the closet.

I'll have to get that book WW! Thanks for the heads up on that one

 

[Windyhillfarms]

I don't envy you having a teenage girl, I barely survived. My DD started the "drama queen" at 10 and then when he father died at 13 OMG that gave her license to have a meltdown at every single little thing ... and at first, that's fine. Then a year later, when the psychologist told me flat out she was controlling me with it, well then I had to get serious because there was not enough hair dye in the entire US to keep up with the gray hair I was getting. She is still spoiled and has to be reminded (even at almost 21) that the world doesn't revolve around her, I can't just up and drop everything when she calls, pulls up unannounced, etc... it's a work in progress. Thankfully now, if she has a meltdown that is inappropriate ... I can hang up the phone

Hang in there, set hard and fast consequences and it will turn around itself, she seems to catch on rather quickly, so you'll be fine.

One thing I started doing to amuse myself and annoy her (yes, I made things worse but I was feeling vindictive) was I would walk into the bathroom and start having the argument with the mirror, arguing both sides. My daughter, after she picked her jaw up off the floor and looked at me as if I had FINALLY lost it, asked me what I was doing. I replied "well, I'm getting just as far arguing here with myself as I am with you and I don't have to hear you yelling". She again had to pick her jaw off the floor and flounced away in a huff, totally insulted. But hey, it got her to shut up!

<--- a hug to save for when you're ready to kill her!

 

[Wannabefree]

I don't envy you having a teenage girl, I barely survived. My DD started the "drama queen" at 10 and then when he father died at 13 OMG that gave her license to have a meltdown at every single little thing ... and at first, that's fine. Then a year later, when the psychologist told me flat out she was controlling me with it, well then I had to get serious because there was not enough hair dye in the entire US to keep up with the gray hair I was getting. She is still spoiled and has to be reminded (even at almost 21) that the world doesn't revolve around her, I can't just up and drop everything when she calls, pulls up unannounced, etc... it's a work in progress. Thankfully now, if she has a meltdown that is inappropriate ... I can hang up the phone

Hang in there, set hard and fast consequences and it will turn around itself, she seems to catch on rather quickly, so you'll be fine.

One thing I started doing to amuse myself and annoy her (yes, I made things worse but I was feeling vindictive) was I would walk into the bathroom and start having the argument with the mirror, arguing both sides. My daughter, after she picked her jaw up off the floor and looked at me as if I had FINALLY lost it, asked me what I was doing. I replied "well, I'm getting just as far arguing here with myself as I am with you and I don't have to hear you yelling". She again had to pick her jaw off the floor and flounced away in a huff, totally insulted. But hey, it got her to shut up!

<--- a hug to save for when you're ready to kill her!

You're still alive enough to post...that's a GOOD sign, right? Goodness knows my real sneaky manipulator us gone now, at least this one is blatant. I guess I should be a little more grateful eh? I wonder what my little cousin will be like :/ I wonder also if it'd be wiser to run NOW

 

[Wannabefree]

Soooo DD got over herself, and we have moved on. I actually coaxed her into changing up a few things, and yesterday got started on moving everything around. I got the bed situation took care of in the now girls' room. I got that 6 foot tall 5 foot wide solid oak elephant monstrocity we call a dresser cleaned out and moved across the hall I thought I'd die moving that thing, but I did it. I had forgotten it took three guys to move it in...now i know why :/ I got the bedroom vacuumed and shampooed. Did 3 loads of laundry. I got the closet cleaned out, and DD's stuff moved in, her shelving is in, all her trinkets etc. are moved in, and her snake tank is in. I got the shelves that were in that room moved over to my room, and cleaned like a madwoman all day yesterday to get that done, and get her room looking decent. I dunno how I did it, because I had company interrupt twice for about an hour each time. HOW does that always happen?!?! Oh and I had chickies hatching 10 of them!

THEN I started on my room today. Moved the bed to the other side of the room, moved nightstands, put the shelves in their place, and loaded them down with organized things, vacuumed, cleaned up the mess that came out of the dresser, put all of it away, did 3 more loads of laundry. Then I HAD to get in the kitchen!!! I made mayo, ranch, bread, and a carrot cake, and am in the process of making the icing. Then I have to make supper, finish the last of the laundry, clean up the bedroom enough we can sleep in it and do my foster care packet homework.

Tomorrow, I get to paint the boys room. I need to clean out the chest, move it to the boys room. Take out the locking cabinet and move it to the livingroom for locking up the meds. Then I have to break down the bed that is in there, go down and get the bunk beds loaded on the truck, bring them home, set them up, load up the old bed and take it to the neighbor. Then Ihave to go to moms and get the extra twin size matress and bring it home. Get it put on the top bunk and get the beds made.

Then I get to redecorate both rooms sometime this week. I dunno when. Tomorrow is church, Thursday is class an hour away, then Friday DH leaves on his men's retreat with the church. I volunteered at the shelter that weekend because half the shelter guys are going to the retreat as well so won't get much done this weekend. I guess I'll start back again on Monday. I still have a lot of stuff to take to the shelter, and a lot of trash to toss, and still yet more to give away to folks i know will use it/need it.

SO.....how's everyone else's week going? I hope you all have had a blessed one so far!!! I have!!