What do you know about ADD?

[Woodland Woman]

Both of my youngest daughters have ADD. I have found only one thing that really works. Diet. They are on a diet that eliminates all artificial colors, artificial flavors, and most preservatives. In the beginning of this diet some fruits are eliminated but later tested back in. I home school. If my kids eat something off diet they will not be able to focus on or finish their school work. Every new concept introduced during this time which will last 4 days will be forgotten and need to be retaught. Now when they stay on their diet they are able to focus and complete their school work in a timely manner. They will remember what they have learned. I had them tested last year and they both scored in the top percentile. Guess what? When they are on this diet they don't have ADD but let them have something off diet and we have melt downs, discipline problems and are unfocused and sound like Lady Henevere's friend.

 

[Beekissed]

Yep, same here. We found sugar and red dye is like crack to my youngest son. We avoid them like the plague. Now he is 17, this is harder, especially at school....you can really tell the difference when he has had these things in his diet.

 

[me&thegals]

There is no question in my mind that ADD is real. I have an adult friend who has it. Here's a couple of hours in his life: Start the kettle for tea. Start the clothes washer, go to the bedroom to get the laundry to put in the washer. Notice the computer, remember that an e-mail needs to be answered. Get online, start surfing the net. Read about the status of the drought, remember that the plants need to be watered. Head outside, turn on the hose. Hear the phone ring, head back inside. Ten minutes later the water has all boiled out of the kettle on the stove, the washer has run a full cycle with no clothes in it, the e-mail still isn't answered, the hose is running in the backyard but the plants haven't been watered, and the backdoor is wide open but no one is home because the phone call was from someone reminding him of a lunch date.

Uh-oh--This describes me to a T. In fact, it's exactly how my morning is going. I'm back from a trip with mountains of laundry, dishes in the sink, a sick child on the couch, SS to catch up on, my transcription to do, 5 veggie shares to complete by 4 pm, and sister-in-law and brother coming this afternoon to visit for a couple days.

Gak! The good news is that I get a LOT done in a day with all my Family Circle-style distractions. The bad news is that MANY pans have been ruined from burning completely dry--one reason we switched to stainless steel instead of Teflon.

It works for me. I have had a few problems at work in not getting work in quickly enough, but I consider that more of a self-discipline issue with SS calling, my vegetables to be cared for, etc.

 

[me&thegals]

What you've described in your kids does not sound abnormal to me, although it sounds like they lack some self discipline (a skill that will come with time, if it's taught to them). In the scenario you described, for example, my 12-year-old daughter wouldn't have come back with the gallon of beans either -- and she's a model student, no behavior problems, on the honor roll with straight A's. I would have had to remind her at least once that the task at hand was bean-picking. It reminds me of one of my favorite poems:

I Meant To Do My Work Today
by Richard LeGallienne

I meant to do my work today,
But a brown bird sang in the apple tree,
And a butterfly flitted across the field,
And all the leaves were calling me.

And the wind went sighing over the land,
Tossing the grasses to and fro,
And a rainbow held out its shining hand,
So what could I do but laugh and go?

The point I'm trying to make is that everyone is distracted from work by what they would rather be doing. I don't think this is abnormal.

That being said, self-discipline is critical when it comes to success in school and life. Your son especially sounds like he may need some help in learning tips and tricks to make sure his work is done. Does he have a homework planner? If not, get him one. Have the teacher initial it each afternoon before he leaves school to ensure what he has on there is right, and you should initial each completed assignment in the planner (after ensuring it is actually complete, of course). This will help him get into the practice of writing down his assignments as they are assigned, keeping the planner with him at the end of the school day, checking off the list at home to make sure it's all done, etc. (My daughter's fourth grade class had to do something like this. I thought it was kind of annoying and too time consuming at first, but now that she's in 7th grade she's very good at using a homework planner and self-regulating due dates, etc. This is good because she's not one of those kids who easily keeps track of assignments and dates in her head.) Other tips and tricks may be needed to help him remember other things, like his gloves (what about the old string-across-the-back trick that keeps the gloves dangling outside the sleeves of the coat?). Or maybe a bedtime checklist on his wall (All the homework assignments in the backpack? Teeth brushed? Clothes out for the morning?) Maybe one week's completed checklist gets him a small reward, ten of them gets him something big. But remember that the key is to get him to remind himself of what needs to be done, not to rely on you to tell him to do it. The latter, in the long run, will not help.

Anyway, there's my two cents; I hope it helps. Your kids sound bright and sweet, I'm sure they will do well in life over the long term. Best of luck to your family. -LH

Thank you so much, LH! This is what I am leaning more and more towards. I was at a church convention the last 4 days and had lots of opportunities to talk with friends about their school-aged kids. It sounds like a really common problem. One mom tried Ritalin and just did not like the child her son turned into. He was very calm and focused but not "him."

We have tried the above. I think I just ran out of patience for it. I thought by this age these things wouldn't be necessary and so have become very frustrated with my kids. In fact, your poem reminds me that I actually WANT them to be distracted from a mundane task when something more awe-inspiring is fluttering by their noses But, then, I want them to learn to get back on task.

I am going to work hard on a much more positive attitude towards their struggles. Rather than frustration, I am going to be more encouraging. I want to set them up for success rather than failure. And, yes, my kids are wonderful kids, so I don't want to ruin that with tension every school night.

 

[me&thegals]

So I received a phone call on Friday from the special ed teacher at my sons school. We talked about the strategies applied and how some are helping and some are not.

She feels we should take the next step in helping him. Which includes a checklist full of questions based on how well he listens how long it takes him to respond and how many times he needs to be asked. She is filling one out and has asked me to do one at home as well. If I am understanding this correctly this is the step just before having him diagnosed by his Pediatrician.

What kills me is the generality of the questions. Your responses are on a 1 to 5 scale. 1 being not observed, 2 = one to several per month, 3= one to several per week, 4= one to several per day, and 5 = several times per hour.

lets see... # 7 Is disorganized with possessions, ie loses or does not find toys, clothes etc..

# 11 Changes from one activity to another without finishing the first, without putting things away, before moving on to the next activity.

Hello????? Do all kids clean up there toys when they decide to play something else? Is being messy now grounds for ADD?

I don't know. I will fill out the paper to my best ability and be sure to assist the teacher as best I can. But my husband and I both agree we will not medicate our child no matter what these people say.

Any suggestions????

See, this is one reason I am now hesitating on moving forward with any sort of testing. First off, I don't want to use medication. Even *if* my kids have ADD, it's not causing any difficulties with my daughter and not enough with my son to warrant the risks of medication.

Secondly, I feel it will label them. Maybe there's not a stigma (per an earlier post), but I still don't want them labeled.

Thirdly, isn't a lot of this normal?? I want to ask the teachers sometimes, "You mean, she is the ONLY kid in the class who daydreams? Really???!?!" or "He is the ONLY child who is distracted by other kids passing gas, poking, burping, and otherwise acting out? For REAL?"

So, it's excellent for us all to have this conversation. Of course, the challenge is to figure out if we are comparing our kids with other normal kids or if ALL our kids have ADD and thus we just THINK our kids are normal in comparison

 

[me&thegals]

He will take about 2-4 hours to do the dishes(his official record is 11 hours!) and then come and ask me, "Now..what else did you say to do?"

Holy cow!!! How many additional meals had by then been eaten???

I guess my 7-year-old taking 2 hours to pick 1 gallon of beans pales in comparison. I appreciate the stance you finally took with your son, Bee. I think it's honorable to sometimes know when to just give up. It was shock as a parent when I learned there were some things I simply could not make my kids do. Actually, I cannot MAKE them do anything. But, I can still sometimes trick them into racing each other to get ready for bed the fastest.

Ahhh... Parenting. The hardest job on earth with zero training.

 

[Wifezilla]

Start the kettle for tea. Start the clothes washer, go to the bedroom to get the laundry to put in the washer. Notice the computer, remember that an e-mail needs to be answered. Get online, start surfing the net. Read about the status of the drought, remember that the plants need to be watered. Head outside, turn on the hose. Hear the phone ring, head back inside. Ten minutes later the water has all boiled out of the kettle on the stove, the washer has run a full cycle with no clothes in it, the e-mail still isn't answered, the hose is running in the backyard but the plants haven't been watered, and the backdoor is wide open but no one is home because the phone call was from someone reminding him of a lunch date.

If you would have said "she" instead of "he" I would have sworn you were spying on me! LOL

Oh crud! Forgot the meat on the stove while I was in the shower! (I am NOT joking).

 

[TanksHill]

I was thinking about this thread this morning as I......

Gathered laundry to put in the wash..
Loaded the dishwasher...
Set up my watter bath to can some pears...
swept the wood floors..
Vacuumed the carpet.. to ready for the steam cleaner...
Then I realized my lap top was not plugged in and sat down here...

Hummmmm I always considered this multi tasking. Because when I am done I will move the wash through. Steam clean the carpet and while it dries I will peel and water bath the pears. Then I will probably sit back down to read some post and check my crops on Farmville.

I still have not filled out the questionnaire that my sons teacher sent home. I am not sure I like it. I completely understand there is always room for improvements but like you guys said. It kinda seems like overkill.

 

[patandchickens]

With us adults, I think there is a difference between if you just often DO jump from task to task (like I suspect most of us do, heaven knows that describes much of my life ) versus being unable NOT TO.

Even though, like most people, I frequently leave behind me a trail of unfinished things and half-started tasks and forgotten goals, I am *capable*, when I concentrate, of staying in the kitchen to watch the jelly kettle doesn't boil over. (Well ok, *usually* I am <g> -- honestly, though, I CAN do it, it's just a matter of being serious about the job)

I think there are genuinely some people (tho not many) in this world who simply cannot carry through a task for more than like forty seconds. Not because they don't care enough, not because they're multitasking adn trying to get several things done at once, not because they're just not trying hard enough, not because they haven't learned little tricks that help, but they just *can't*. Not even if you offered them a million dollars to stay in the kitchen for fifteen minutes watching the jelly boil.

The difficulty is that, hard as this is to determine for adults, it's REALLY hard to identify in kids. Because kids cannot be assumed to have the same motivations as we do. Especially since, let's face it, kids generally feel that most tasks we set them to -- picking beans, washing dishes, putting away laundry, keeping track of possessions -- are an unfair and outrageous imposition on their natural freeborn rights and there is no practical reason why they should have to do 'em except that Parents Are Mean

Pat

 

[me&thegals]

How true. Plus, why would we stand and watch the water boil when we have to many other things to get done? What a waste of time? But, it seems one task leads to about 30 others rather than 1 leading to 1 other, then going back to the first task to be concentrated on. Sigh.