Abifae - Ciao Babies!

[Henrietta23]

I have the round tower crayon stack

http://www.entertainmentearth.com/images/AUTOIMAGES/CR520029.jpg

Sweet! DS has the mini marker tower. I think I like it more than he does! But markers aren't the same as crayons somehow. It's a smell thing...

 

[FarmerJamie]

depends on which way you set it. neener!!! the whiteboard is 6 by 3.

LOLOL

Sorry, couldn't help myself. What's new in Colorado today?

 

[abifae]

LOL Jamie, I wasn't offended. I was amused!!

Hen... I do prefer crayons. A lot.

 

[abifae]

To further my guess that Bones is supposed to teach autistics about social rules...

episode 20 this season is about an honesty cult. The whole show is about when to be honest and when to use tact or white lies.

All the shows auties are saying "but why isn't honesty always the best policy" and all the autie whisperers are explaining the social rules around it and that people have feelings that can be hurt.

 

[FarmerJamie]

I guess I need to join the ranks too?

I work for an organization that promotes their honesty and transparency. Early on, I took that literally, and questioned my boss on something that didn't quite compute on the "is this right" meter. I was taught there is "honesty" and " honesty". I still don't get it.

 

[abifae]

Yeh. I still think a white lie is still a lie.

I don't mind tact. Although if I look horrible in an outfit, any friend of mine better tell me so and not say "gosh that's a nice color". But for the weak minded who couldn't survive if they were taught how to dress correctly, even though being improved would likely improve their chances at job promotions and dating... I am willing to find something positive about whatever lousy thing they have done so that I am not outright insulting.

 

[Henrietta23]

I had never watched Bones until my naturopath mentioned the autism connection. So I catch it when I can to compare her to my students. My mother has been watching it all along and never caught on to the connection despite spending 35 years teaching and working with many autistic and asperger's kids over the years. Maybe that's why I was just 'shy' ?

 

[FarmerJamie]

Yeah, things like "she's a just a little pregnant" drive me crazy - either you are or you aren't. Actually, I can pick up on the BS compliments, most of the time, just never try to use them myself. I think the key is to get comfortable with whomever it is and say "just give it to me straight".

Ever hear of the "but.." sandwich? Compliment... but here's the issue...compliment.

 

[abifae]

Hen - yes that's why you were "shy" indeed! Bones is on Netflix, if you have it

I realized my dad hid anything to do with my mental issues so I wouldn't be taken away. Yeh, probably another manifestation of his extreme paranoia, but it's easier to accept he was being overly careful than ignoring me out of negligence LOL!

Jamie, my dad actually taught me that. If you do have a negative, you couch it between two positives:

Your presentation was well spoken, if was very easy to understand your points. I didn't find the slides to be in a good order, that might be something to look at. I really enjoyed the way you tied it all together in the end though.

He said that I tended to be an a$$hole and that if I didn't want to make enemies, I had to learn that pointing out what people do wrong all the time just makes you seem like a jerk. But as long as it is couched between good things, people are more likely to take it as constructive criticism instead of being mean.

He also said to not point it out if the only person it was going to hurt was me (ie my obsessive needs for accuracy). But if correcting it would actively help the person, it was okay.

 

[FarmerJamie]

The current management trend is to get rid of the "but..." sandwich. The theory goes that the listener hears "you're great, something to work, you're great", so as the song goes, 2 outa 3 ain't bad...

My favorite movie quote for work is from A Few Good Men "You want the truth?....you can't handle the truth"