Bee~ Journal of then...

[Beekissed]

I will tell you a truth that I have been telling for many years, folks. IHATENURSING! Yep, you heard it....I have always hated this profession.

When I tell other nurses this, they look at me oddly...because they enjoy the "prestige"? that comes with the job. They like people looking up to them for their profession. I don't really care about status quo or recognition or self righteous crapola and never did. I feel and always have felt, that nurses are just doing a job. It's not a glorified Nightingale thingy at all....I don't know why some nurses feel like they are special...really.

Then people always say, "B-b-but you are so good at it!" Well, I'm good at slinging babies out into this world too but I don't want to do that all the time either!

I think God has placed me in this profession for his own ends and designs and I just came to that realization this year....after 16 years of being frustrated, angry and trying desparately to get out of this profession.....I've come to know that God put me here for this. I feel both blessed and resigned <sigh> to the fact that I am in it to stay now.....darn it.

I really don't like to be praised for what I do, guys....really. I'm just doing what comes natural and I really don't feel like that is special in any way. No more than the people who teach our kids or the cops who protect us from villians....just doing the best you can where God planted ya..nothing more.

The real heroes out there are the families. Honestly and truly, these people live compassion 24/7 and they give everything they have, spirit, body, money, time, love...you name it, they spill it like bleeding every day. I admire them so very much...all of them! They are not getting paid to do it, they don't even have to opt for home care(but they do!), they don't have to do anything except love their patient and they do this without training or getting money for it.

Life is a weird and wondrous thing, folks.....I'm here to tell you that I have seen some truly awe inspiring things in this profession that I love to hate!

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

Bee, I used to think I'd want to work in assisted care...not as a nurse, but as a nurse's aid or STNA...which is why I sought employment in Home Health as an NA.

Lemme tell you, it sucked.

The desire came from when I first met Ernie and his family, or more specifically, his mom. My MIL had ALS when I met her, and was pretty advanced. She was paralyzed from the waist down and I would come over every day after school (I was a sophomore in HS) and sit with his mom so Ernie and his dad could do the yardwork, go grocery shopping, etc.

I loved that woman. She lived for my visits. My mom thought other things were going on over there, so she quit allowing me to go visit. Ernie's mom used to call the house, begging my mom to let me come visit, and my mom always said no. Three months later she passed away. My mom did allow me to attend her funeral, and I've had a hard time attending any funeral since.

I love the elderly. Treating them as patients doesn't work for me, but I love being their companions, listening to their stories from their younger years, and just giving them someone to talk to. I haven't found a profession yet that will just allow me to do that without the medical stuff involved.

 

[keljonma]

My MIL was an RN for over 40 years. She was a nurse in the maternity wing of a hospital. She hated the bs that went with the job, and some days the job wasn't fun. But my MIL could and did take care of babies all day long. For a woman who always wanted 10 or 12 children, but only had 3, the babies under her care at the hospital were her joy.

As a member of a former hospice family I know the caregiver family members rely on the visiting nurses quite a bit. A family member can tell the patient something and it isn't believed...but if the hospice nurse says the same thing, the patient feels calmed. Which in turn, helps the family caregivers.

God gives us all gifts. It is up to us to use them. You do that, Bee, and all the glory is His.

 

[Beekissed]

Amen and amen.

We are finally getting a good, steady rain and not a moment too soon. My grass is drying up and my mums are dying.

Next week is apple juicing, saucing, vinegaring time.

Hours and money making opportunities cut at work~equals out to about $1000 of money less each month. Now, folks, I live pretty frugally....but $1000 less per month will put me on the bread lines!

Think one income and two growing boys at home, winter coming on and an old truck that is showing it's age..... :/ Also imagine the lowest pay a nurse with my year's of experience has ever made! I was making this wage 10 years ago...unfortunately, the economy has gotten worse and that kind of pay just doesn't cut it.

I don't want to leave this job....I feel like I can make a difference in this type of nursing, but when does one finally just give up and roll on? I've been dedicated, cheerful, give 150%, go the extra mile, dependable and eager to please......and it has meant zero to this boss and this company.

Do I just have faith that God is in control and things will work out? This is my second inclination.....my first is anxiety. I'm trying to have faith.....desparately!

 

[keljonma]

Next week is apple juicing, saucing, vinegaring time.

How exciting! I hope you get lots of good pics to post!

Hours and money making opportunities cut at work~equals out to about $1000 of money less each month. Now, folks, I live pretty frugally....but $1000 less per month will put me on the bread lines!

Think one income and two growing boys at home, winter coming on and an old truck that is showing it's age..... Also imagine the lowest pay a nurse with my year's of experience has ever made! I was making this wage 10 years ago...unfortunately, the economy has gotten worse and that kind of pay just doesn't cut it.

I don't want to leave this job....I feel like I can make a difference in this type of nursing, but when does one finally just give up and roll on? I've been dedicated, cheerful, give 150%, go the extra mile, dependable and eager to please......and it has meant zero to this boss and this company.

Having recently gone through some really rough weather ourselves the past few years, Bee, I can understand your feelings.

What are the job prospects if you leave? Can you free-lance nursing? Are there other nursing opportunities in your area that might be as rewarding and pay the same or better? Personally, I'd try to stick it out because the economy still stinks (regardless of recent government and media propaganda to the contrary).

The fact that you *do* live frugally, probably gives you some cushion. I know it was one of our saving graces, so to speak. How quickly will the hours be cut? Or have they already? We had very short warnings of job losses, so we used some savings to stock up the pantry. With canned, frozen, dehydrated, otherwise preserved food, hunting and/or fishing, foraging and necessary staples, we were able to live on $500 a month.

As you know, His plan is not our plan. But I'd say there is a reason why your mama is coming to live with you. His reason, His plan, His time.

Do I just have faith that God is in control and things will work out? This is my second inclination.....my first is anxiety. I'm trying to have faith.....desparately!

Let go and Let God. Easy to say; Not an easy thing to do. My dh has trouble with this one. But from my own experience I will say, your anxiety will drop to the cellar. You will still have to go to the Word for comfort and direction, but you won't have that anxiety eating you up inside.

I hope these can give you some comfort...Psalm 91:4, 1 Peter 5:7, Galatians 5:1, John 16:3, Philippians 4:19, 2 Timothy 1:7, Hebrews 13:5

You are in my prayers.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

Bee, I'm just a "youngin'" as ya'll are prone to say, and I'm not so good at the advice stuff, but I will share you a few things I've learned over the last 4.5 years.

1) If you need it, God provides it (even when there is NO money)

2) If you need it, and He doesn't provide it, He shows you how to survive without it....therefore you didn't really need it.

3) Why worry? I've found every time I've worried about something, He takes care of it and then I'm left wondering "Why did I worry?"

God's in control. Took me a long time to figure that out.

I will say this, when Ernie and I were both working, we were getting no where. Now that we're both homebound, doing what we can with our farm, working the land, the blessings have been bountiful.

 

[MorelCabin]

Ah, Bee...I've been feeling the faith vs anxiety thing for some time now...and it sure does feel better when you just GIVE it over:>) I read a good sermon today as a matter of fact about being positive in all your thoughts, because being negative doesn't help, it really hinders...and if it isn't a good thought, don't speak it:>) Think good thoughts Bee, mull over them and keep them at the foremost of your mind. I am trying to practice this...get into the habit of it...bec ause when you're up, you're UP and when you're down it never seems to stop crashing in on ya! All good things come from God, and He does want to give us good things and take away our worries.
We just have to allow him to work:>)

 

[Beekissed]

Already over the hump, y'all! You all give suuuuuuch good advice that it's scary.....and I was already thinking right along with you and that is scary also! Almost like sisterchicks......

Dragonlaurel also made some valid points that I was already mulling around in my head.....get busy on some money-making projects at home!

Maybe this is God's way of making me get down to business and quit putting off all the great ideas I've been kicking around for so long. Get back to building my inventory of soaps, lotions, scrubs. Get back to making wreaths and garlands. Get back to making wind chimes from old, antique silverware and old farm metals. Get back to painting on old barn boards. Get back to sewing miniature quilts.

In short....get back to having some FUN in what I do and making money under the table!

Get off my can and get creative! Get down on my knees and let God take care of the hard stuff! Spend time with the Bat because she needs me, and with my kids.

If the truck wheels don't roll, I save some money. Time is everything and I've had a short supply of it for along time......God really does know what is best, huh? Go figure!

 

[punkin]

There's our Bee.

 

[Farmfresh]