I'm soon going to go CRAZY!!! Well, crazier I should say. My stepdad is a complete control freak. I'm not "allowed" to be on the internet (went as far as removing the wireless, blocking my computer, trying to put a password on MY computer that I bought over the summer, etc). Now, if I ask why, the answers vary... It's been MONTHS since I've been "allowed" to get online (of course, I sneak it when I can, when he's not home), and each time I ask why I'm not allowed or if we can finally put the wireless back on, the answer is always different... Either the kitchen isn't clean, the living room has toys on the floor, or when everything is spotless, he'll change it to "no, you need to spend all of your time away from work with the boys". Like, excuse me, Mr. never has raised a child, YOU take them for ONE full day and see if you can spend every last second with your head up their asses and not doing anything but WATCHING them (they watch tv, and then I take that chance to do something I like to do, if it's not "banned" for me). I obviously make soaps and other BB products... well, now I'm not allowed to do that anymore. There's been some spot on the kitchen sink for as long as I can remember, but in one of the controlling bullcrap phases, it somehow came to be my fault, so now I'm not allowed to make any soap or other BB products because he swears anything I do will destroy his house. I was on the computer yesterday, because I told mom I needed it... I did what I needed, then did a few things just for S'n'G's... I looked up incubators and all that hooplah, just for something to do. Don't you know, the step-dad did a full scan of all of my internet happenings and started bitching and complaining that I was looking at incubators... Like, you look at porn, but you don't hear anyone complaining that you're trying to buy a new wife, right? So shut the heck up that I was looking at incubators and such... Ugh. I'm just so frustrated. I can't stand not working, I hate being here! I actually asked work to try to give me a shift this weekend so I could get the hell away from here without spending a mini-fortune. It sucks... I can't go out and do much with the boys in the winter, but I HATE being here. I like spending time with the boys, but come on, I can't sit here for 48 hours not doing ANYTHING that I enjoy. I do that enough at work, and when I get a free chance, I'd like to be able to enjoy myself once in awhile. Yesterday I went on a road trip on a whim. Just packed up and left for a reptile zoo. Spent $50+ just to get out of the house for four hours. Then when I got back, I just wanted to leave again. I can't afford to blow money like that, but just can't SIT here and do nothing. :/ Just going to go freaking insane! /rant