Daydreaming while waiting impatiently!

[flowerbug]

DH is off work today, so I'm delegating parenting to him and focusing on work.

I asked DS17 to do a chore this morning. Instead of doing the chore, taking a shower and putting on clean clothes... it appears he walked 6 miles to work. ...

not a morning person?

 

[tortoise]

DS17 moved out to biodad's house this weekend. He got a job at the same fast food restaurant, but $3/hour more and walkable distance from biodad's house. He's happy. He's sending me messages and being *friendly*. So weird. Whatever, I'll take it.

We are adjusting to peace and quiet. It's strange, in the best way possible.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Wow! Major big deal. Really hope it continues to work out for all of you!

 

[Mini Horses]

They all leave sometime. Might as well be while you can enjoy it.

In 30 yrs or so, watch out. They return home, like a stray cat.

 

[murphysranch]

sigh....I wish the best for him. Mine moved out at 18.5 years old, cus we nagged him too much. He never grad from HS. He had a successful career at Tesla making 80K a year. He quit last May 23. Today at 33 years old:

I'm just about done with my son. I called him thru his window in the basement - A please come up outside for a while. Nuthin' - silence

I texted him 15 min later. Time to come outside. Else you will do everything when its 97 out.

I went down 40 min later. He was working on a school assignment. He's enrolled in Clark CC and due to his lackadaisical effort, only managed to get one class this semester - "Intro to going back to school"

I said time to come up now. You can do your assignment later when its hot. He blew up. "This is getting worse. I pay for the elec and the water. What else do you want me to do? "

I said for him to step up more. He said I am!!!! I said not according to what we think your room and board might cost. Even just a little help would be good. We have to ask and tell you everything single thing, including Tuesday trash days.

"Oh, so you're gonna hold that over me, huh?" Um yes son. We provide everything for you. Food, shelter, laundry, dogs, and I feed his two cats twice a day.

If you don't like us asking and telling you all the time, you do have alternatives. "see there you go holding it over my head"
((I have never ever mentioned him moving out))

He said like what? I said you could move out, spend $1500 a month on rent for a 1/1, plus your water, elec and more. I said we enjoy having you here, we just need more help. So what are you going to do about this?

He replied "nothing" and walked down to the shop.

 

[tortoise]

sigh....I wish the best for him. Mine moved out at 18.5 years old, cus we nagged him too much. He never grad from HS. He had a successful career at Tesla making 80K a year. He quit last May 23. Today at 33 years old:

I'm just about done with my son. I called him thru his window in the basement - A please come up outside for a while. Nuthin' - silence

I texted him 15 min later. Time to come outside. Else you will do everything when its 97 out.

I went down 40 min later. He was working on a school assignment. He's enrolled in Clark CC and due to his lackadaisical effort, only managed to get one class this semester - "Intro to going back to school"

I said time to come up now. You can do your assignment later when its hot. He blew up. "This is getting worse. I pay for the elec and the water. What else do you want me to do? "

I said for him to step up more. He said I am!!!! I said not according to what we think your room and board might cost. Even just a little help would be good. We have to ask and tell you everything single thing, including Tuesday trash days.

"Oh, so you're gonna hold that over me, huh?" Um yes son. We provide everything for you. Food, shelter, laundry, dogs, and I feed his two cats twice a day.

If you don't like us asking and telling you all the time, you do have alternatives. "see there you go holding it over my head"
((I have never ever mentioned him moving out))

He said like what? I said you could move out, spend $1500 a month on rent for a 1/1, plus your water, elec and more. I said we enjoy having you here, we just need more help. So what are you going to do about this?

He replied "nothing" and walked down to the shop.

I'm sorry, that sounds so difficult

 

[Mini Horses]

@murphysranch -- I feel your pain
I know your frustration. I share the same dilemma.
No, doesn't get better....sorry. Begin to treat and envision as an unrelated person. It's hard.

 

[flowerbug]

Mom asked me to move in here. it has worked out well for both of us...

 

[Mini Horses]

@flowerbug that's a totally different thing...plus you're a self starter.

These guys have issues -- at least mine does! -- and they're difficult issues to deal with and understand. On days my DS is good, he's helpful and a pleasure to be around. Other days, well "Jekyll & Hyde" comes to mind.

Wasted talent!!!

 

[flowerbug]

@flowerbug that's a totally different thing...plus you're a self starter.

These guys have issues -- at least mine does! -- and they're difficult issues to seal and understand. On days my DS is good, he's helpful and a pleasure. Other days, well "Jekyll & Hyde" comes to mind.

Wasted talent!!!

i had my struggles and still do, but i refuse to let them ruin my life or to give others problems. i also have my days when i want nothing to do with anyone. when you live with someone else you try to find ways to communicate about that so you don't make each other miserable for no good reason. Mom is good, she understands and is able to keep herself busy and out of my hair when i need alone time. sometimes i get my alone time later at night when she's gone to sleep. just doing whatever we can to get by...

also we find things to laugh about when we can. the sillier the better.

this morning i had to play doctor and clean up some damage Mom did to her arm and so we took the time and effort to find things to laugh about there too. she said i was very gentle. i'd have probably been more of a wimp about it than she was...