Denim Deb Hay, hay, hay. Thank the Lord!

[Jess172]

I don't know about you but when my hubby takes off work I can never get anything I had planned done.

 

[Denim Deb]

Yep, same here. I don't even try to make a plan but instead just do what I can. I've tried to tell him that he took the day off, not me and that I still have stuff to do. But, since he's working weekends for right now as well, it makes more sense for him to take off a week day. He's only allowed to work so many days w/out a day off and he gets more money working Saturday and Sunday. He does have some place he has to go this morning-which is good. I'm not about to miss my Bible study to either go shopping or sit around the house and do nothing.

 

[hqueen13]

Hope you got lots done despite the interruption! My problem is when the BF is off, we end up doing so much because I need help with some things so we run around and try to get stuff done like crazy, which usually doesn't result in much getting done... LOL

 

[Denim Deb]

I'm honestly asking myself if it's worth it for me to try and stay w/hubby any longer. He had to take a test in order to keep his job. The test was this morning. I figured that would work out well since I had Bible study this morning. And that would leave us this afternoon to do stuff together if he wanted.

He called when I was in Bible study, so I told him I'd call him later. It was just after noon when I called. He passed his test and was in a store. Then he was going out to lunch w/a friend. I waited and waited. At around 5:45, DD pulled up and backed into her Father's parking space-she had her father w/her and he was drunk. He went in the house and fell right to sleep. He's only awake now because she just called and wanted to know about running his car. I wish she hadn't called. Now he's awake and talking. I wish he'd shut up.

 

[Jess172]

Oh dear I haven't gotten all the way through your journal yet but I think I read where your hubby was an alcoholic? It's always hard to know what to do in that kinda situation. My hubby's father was a bad alcoholic right up till the day he died. His mom used to be a heavy drinker also but quit several years ago and hasn't drank any since. Out of the hubby's 6 brothers and sisters only one is a terrible alcoholic/occasional drug user. So when he starts drinking a lot I get worried. Right now it's just a few glasses of wine before bed every night "to help him sleep". Well see how long that lasts. I try to keep a lid on it by reminding him of his dad. It's kinda working so far...

 

[Denim Deb]

Drinking to help you sleep doesn't actually work. It might help you fall asleep, but it won't keep you asleep. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/17/alcohol-side-effects-drinking-sleep_n_3286434.html

 

[Jess172]

Thank you! I'll show him the article

 

[Denim Deb]

Of course, depending on what he's like, he may just blow it off. If I stay w/hubby, and he doesn't change, I figure I'm going to be a widow fairly early.

I had stuff I wanted him to help me w/yesterday and that didn't happen. I still need to get the spears moved into my other flower garden. But, he used a piece of plywood and some 2x8 to make a ramp when we got the new fridge. And, it's sitting propped up against the house. I need to out of there, but it's hard for me to move the plywood by myself. Looks like I'm going to have to anyway. We could get showers later today, then rain tomorrow and Sunday. I want it done B4 then.

Going to hopefully pick up my niece today and take her to the farm. She wants to come out, which is good. If at all possible, I want to spend as much time w/her. She opened up a bit to me last week and told me it was really hard on her to have her mother die in front of her. She's been really difficult to handle since that happened and I really suspect that a lot of it is due to that. I think she has a lot of mixed feelings about it. I think out of all her aunts, if any of us are going to be able to really help her, it's going to be me. I know her aunts on the other side-KN is one of them, which is why I have to put up w/her-and they're all pretty much alike.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Ya know Deb, you just might have to take a stand with him. When my DH was a heavy drinker/alcoholic EVERY day drunk - I had to do a lot of soul-searching before I finally told him - stop drinking or get out. Period.

My DH is a medical professional, and knew he was committing slow suicide. He also earns a nice salary and I knew I'd be giving that up. I had done all the math, knew I'd be dirt poor but at that point I didn't care. I'd rather be poor than living with a man who drank to passing out EVERY NIGHT - and was drinking on the way to work - at work- and at night.


I told him that being poor with him gone was better for me than being poor with him there when/if he lost his job. It took a serious break down in our marriage for him to reach the point of making a choice ... it was 100% me - or the booze. He chose me - for about 3 days. He came home with alcohol on his breath and I made him leave. It was 3 days before Christmas and he had to go stay with his folks. He started going to AA that day and went sometimes twice a day for the next 90 days. He hasn't had a drink now in over 5 years and our marriage is about as good as it can get.

My whole point in saying this is that sometimes by NOT making a stand you are enabling him. My friends would get so tired of my *****ing about his drinking! That's all I did was gripe about it. Finally one of them told me to stop whining and take action. So I did. It took me DOING something about it to make a difference.

Not my place to tell you what to do...just relaying what worked for my family. I have met a lot of alcoholics at his AA meetings and for the most part they all thank family members or friends for PUSHING them to get sober. So, not saying your situation is exactly like mine was but you've been talking about this for a long time so I know you're fed up with it - and I don't blame you a bit. (((HUGS))) Hope you can get out of this situation - one way or the other...

 

[hqueen13]

Hugs. Sorry to hear he is making life difficult again.
I hope you have a great day with your niece. We have rain off and on, tomorrow is supposed to be worse. Just in time for the first lessons of the year.