Dace
Revolution in Progress
Congrats on your settlement...lawsuits can be quite an emotional rollercoaster, glad you made it thru and came out on top!
FarmerDenise's journal - full on harvest time = busy, busy, busy
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FarmerDenise
Out to pasture
Thanks, Dace.
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- #93
FarmerDenise
Out to pasture
Good morning!
I usually wake up in a good mood. I get my cup of coffee and sit in bed and let my thoughts wander for a while. Then I get another cup of coffee and write yesterdays events in my calender/journal.
I usually wake up in a good mood. I get my cup of coffee and sit in bed and let my thoughts wander for a while. Then I get another cup of coffee and write yesterdays events in my calender/journal.
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- #94
FarmerDenise
Out to pasture
I had to get that out and wanted to share it with you. I know it is sad, but I hope you don't mind that I shared it.
this just comes into my mind unexpected and then I have a hard time pushing it aside and going on with my day.
Love your chidren much, and listen to them closely. Kids don't always put it into proper words, when say feel so desperate, that they don't see another way out.
And listen to the kids, when say say something about a friend too. Kids are more likely to say something to a friend. Check into it. Better to check into ten false alarms, then to let it go once for the real deal. The kids are looking for attention and help. They are dealing with a lot and don't have the capacity yet to always handle things well. They easily get to a point of desperation. Even those one might think are well adjusted.
Marissa's friends knew something was up, but none of them said anything to anyone. Those children are ridden with guilt now. Marissa's mom set up a peer couseling group at the high school Marissa attended and the family does fundraisers to help support it. We also give awards to students who have overcome personal difficulties.
SIL speaks at high schools and has worked to get a barrier on the Golden Gate bridge.
Marissa's father hung himself a few years ago. He couldn't live with the guilt.
Marissa's little sister, she was 2 when Missy died, speaks with Missy all the time. She sees her. We think Missy is her angel now.
We feel Missy is an angel who guides the souls of children to the other side. We think that is why she was taken from us.
When Missy died, there were a lot of dragonflies around. So now we think of dragonflies as being Missy.
We miss you Missy.
this just comes into my mind unexpected and then I have a hard time pushing it aside and going on with my day.
Love your chidren much, and listen to them closely. Kids don't always put it into proper words, when say feel so desperate, that they don't see another way out.
And listen to the kids, when say say something about a friend too. Kids are more likely to say something to a friend. Check into it. Better to check into ten false alarms, then to let it go once for the real deal. The kids are looking for attention and help. They are dealing with a lot and don't have the capacity yet to always handle things well. They easily get to a point of desperation. Even those one might think are well adjusted.
Marissa's friends knew something was up, but none of them said anything to anyone. Those children are ridden with guilt now. Marissa's mom set up a peer couseling group at the high school Marissa attended and the family does fundraisers to help support it. We also give awards to students who have overcome personal difficulties.
SIL speaks at high schools and has worked to get a barrier on the Golden Gate bridge.
Marissa's father hung himself a few years ago. He couldn't live with the guilt.
Marissa's little sister, she was 2 when Missy died, speaks with Missy all the time. She sees her. We think Missy is her angel now.
We feel Missy is an angel who guides the souls of children to the other side. We think that is why she was taken from us.
When Missy died, there were a lot of dragonflies around. So now we think of dragonflies as being Missy.
We miss you Missy.
Farmfresh
City Biddy
Sometimes there is just not a good explanation. Chances are that she was suffering from depression, but it is so hard to detect in some people. They always put on a "game face" for those around them.
We experienced a suicide in our family as well. My MIL who was 76 basically decided to starve herself to death. She was aware that it was suicide and it did not seem to matter to her. It took about 5 months for her to die. A time that included getting a stomach tube inserted as well as getting it removed again, since her body was rejecting the food by that point. It was a horrible strain on our family and all we could do was just watch and wait.
Looking back we realize that she had had symptoms of anorexia for most of her life. She was always VERY thin. Sometimes you just get used to things like that, since she was always that way. Doctors think that her aging, denture problems and her losing some of her sense of taste were all contributing factors. They call it senior anorexia.
God sent us a wonderful nurse that helped us through this. She had seen it happen a few times and helped us to realize that my MIL could NOT be forced to eat or to live if she had lost the will. Even though I realize it WAS easier losing an old person that a young one with so much life ahead .. it is still hard.
People who do this kind of thing can see only their own pain. They don't stop to think how their death can affect the people around them - sometimes forever.
I think my MIL's death was a contributing factor in decisions that my middle daughter is now making. She always was very sensible and intelligent and now she is running with the wild ones. My middle daughter worked at the nursing home where my MIL was staying during this time. I believe it just hurt her too much.
I am a Christian and I believe that ALL things will work together for good. ALL things are part of the greater plan. I have to accept that on faith, even though I have had glimpses of things that did work out for good before. Sometimes it is hard to see the plan. God is in control.
We experienced a suicide in our family as well. My MIL who was 76 basically decided to starve herself to death. She was aware that it was suicide and it did not seem to matter to her. It took about 5 months for her to die. A time that included getting a stomach tube inserted as well as getting it removed again, since her body was rejecting the food by that point. It was a horrible strain on our family and all we could do was just watch and wait.
Looking back we realize that she had had symptoms of anorexia for most of her life. She was always VERY thin. Sometimes you just get used to things like that, since she was always that way. Doctors think that her aging, denture problems and her losing some of her sense of taste were all contributing factors. They call it senior anorexia.
God sent us a wonderful nurse that helped us through this. She had seen it happen a few times and helped us to realize that my MIL could NOT be forced to eat or to live if she had lost the will. Even though I realize it WAS easier losing an old person that a young one with so much life ahead .. it is still hard.
People who do this kind of thing can see only their own pain. They don't stop to think how their death can affect the people around them - sometimes forever.
I think my MIL's death was a contributing factor in decisions that my middle daughter is now making. She always was very sensible and intelligent and now she is running with the wild ones. My middle daughter worked at the nursing home where my MIL was staying during this time. I believe it just hurt her too much.
I am a Christian and I believe that ALL things will work together for good. ALL things are part of the greater plan. I have to accept that on faith, even though I have had glimpses of things that did work out for good before. Sometimes it is hard to see the plan. God is in control.
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- #96
FarmerDenise
Out to pasture
Thanks for the kind words, Farmfresh.
Farmfresh
City Biddy
We do try our best. Right now we are the "enemy". Any words of love or advice that we have to offer are just thrown right back. All she wants is a handout and us to praise her bad choices. So for now all we can do is be silent and be there if needed.
Very frustrating. Since she is an adult - there are few other things (short of kidnapping) that we can do but wait and pray.
I have been down the suicide road myself. Never actually attempted it, but considered. A classmate at school killed himself - right in the middle of my most serious time. His little brother found him and I got to witness the effects on the survivors. That is the only thing that stayed my hand at the time. My childhood was VERY rough. Now I see that that same childhood was a gift. It has allowed me to reach a lot of children that would have been otherwise unreachable. God works in mysterious ways, but He does have a plan.
Very frustrating. Since she is an adult - there are few other things (short of kidnapping) that we can do but wait and pray.
I have been down the suicide road myself. Never actually attempted it, but considered. A classmate at school killed himself - right in the middle of my most serious time. His little brother found him and I got to witness the effects on the survivors. That is the only thing that stayed my hand at the time. My childhood was VERY rough. Now I see that that same childhood was a gift. It has allowed me to reach a lot of children that would have been otherwise unreachable. God works in mysterious ways, but He does have a plan.
- Thread starter
- #98
FarmerDenise
Out to pasture
Farmfresh
City Biddy
Yes, helping some one in that frame of mind will just make it easier for them to do what they shouldn't. Tough love is hard, but sometimes it is what you have to do.
Glad your brother finally got himself together. I hope my daughter will eventually do the same.
Glad your brother finally got himself together. I hope my daughter will eventually do the same.
- Thread starter
- #100
FarmerDenise
Out to pasture
It was another hot one around here. I wilt in this heat. I normally go to FIL's on wednesdays to help in his garden, but we were busy preparing for the heat yesterday morning and didn't get free time til around noon. FIL was ok with us coming today. SO cut some branches that were blocking the driveway and I watered FIL's plants and sat and visited.
Once back home I gave the chickens water with electrolites. I put the unwell little cornish x chick in my enclosed garden, so it could see it's mates and be out side in the shade, instead of being cooped up in a pet carrier. She seems to be improving. The rabbit got an iceblock (water frozen in a plastic bottle) to keep him cool.
Our blue lake beans are growing like crazy this year. I picked 6 lbs yesterday morning and by late evening, it looked like I hadn't picked any. The bean poles are breaking from the weight. The wind was also blowing from the north instead of from the west. So that might have accounted for the breakage as well.
I have been eating fruit all day and left over ham and potato salad. I do not feel like having a proper dinner. I also tasted my mead that I made a while back. I like it. It is very refreshing. Perfect for such a hot day. It does not seem to have any alcohol in it though. Which I was expecting it to have. Maybe it is such a minimal amount that I can't tell.
It is still hot
Once back home I gave the chickens water with electrolites. I put the unwell little cornish x chick in my enclosed garden, so it could see it's mates and be out side in the shade, instead of being cooped up in a pet carrier. She seems to be improving. The rabbit got an iceblock (water frozen in a plastic bottle) to keep him cool.
Our blue lake beans are growing like crazy this year. I picked 6 lbs yesterday morning and by late evening, it looked like I hadn't picked any. The bean poles are breaking from the weight. The wind was also blowing from the north instead of from the west. So that might have accounted for the breakage as well.
I have been eating fruit all day and left over ham and potato salad. I do not feel like having a proper dinner. I also tasted my mead that I made a while back. I like it. It is very refreshing. Perfect for such a hot day. It does not seem to have any alcohol in it though. Which I was expecting it to have. Maybe it is such a minimal amount that I can't tell.
It is still hot
