I became a guardian to a child a few years ago.
He came to me through my other children. He is a friend of my kids and I knew things were not right at home, he tried to hide it but too many things were apparent.
He would not show up at school and the kids would call me and tell me that he isn't there and to check on him.
I would drive over there and ask him if he wanted a ride and he would be all out of sorts.
I finally got the story one day when I went over there and demanded to know why he wasn't in school again, her car was in the driveway so why didn't she drive him if he missed the bus?
He is very upset and tells me to go wait in the car and he will meet me across the street, he was afraid we would wake her up.
So the story finally comes out. He misses school because he is so tired he can't get up and when he does the bus is gone and she won't drive him.
So why is he too tired to get up?
Well she comes home at 1:00 a.m. from her shift as a psychiatric nurse and gets hammered and wakes him up to yell at him and tell him what a piece of garbage he is and she wishes he was never born and wouldn't let him go back to sleep.
Sometimes she would make him get up and clean the house until 4:00 a.m. until she finally passed out.
So one day I get a phone call and he is on his sidewalk with nothing but a back pack full of clothes and he said he had nowhere to go.
Now this woman never raised him to begin with. She got pregnant at 27 by her husband and he left her while she was still pregnant and he was not a part of his life.
So she was no kid when this happened and she was a nurse. You would think she would be stable enough to raise him, but she dumped him on her parents until he was 7, took him back and then gave him back again.
Then she remarried and this guy took her son back and the guy abused the boy until the police were involved and he ended up back at the grandparents.
This guy is also a special needs teacher. How scary is that?
So she eventually divorces the guy to appease the courts and children's services but still dates him
and she takes the boy back.
Bad situation, by now the grandparents are very old and can no longer take care of him.
The ex husband/boyfriend comes back into the picture and tells her its the boy or him because he is legally not allowed in the same house as her son due to the physical abuse.
Who do you think she chose?
So this is where I find this child, sitting on the curb with all his worldly possessions in a backpack trying to not let me see him cry.
Pretty tough to take.
I took him home and that was that.
His mother never called me or him, never asked if he needed anything , nothing.
Eventually I have to go to court for legal guardianship because I couldn't even take him to the doctor, which he needed badly by the way for a broken disc in his back, or even legally sign school papers.
She showed up in court and said, yeah she can have him, I never should have had kids, I should have had an abortion.
By the way, she told him this all the time while he was growing up and yelled it at him from the doorway when we picked him up on the sidewalk that day.
So long story short, he is a wonderful soul, I am grateful he is in my life, he never ever leaves the house or hangs up the phone without saying I love you.
He had been doing horribly in school when I got him and he completely turned around, made all the varsity teams had lots of friends and I cried myself sick at his graduation ceremony.
When the seniors graduate from the basketball team they have a ceremony and they call out the names of the people who have made the most difference in their lives, that person walks down to the court and the young man pins a flower on you.
There are parents, coaches, school counselors, relatives etc. there and they can choose whoever made the most difference to them.
I heard my husband and I called my legs felt like jelly and when I got down to the court he pinned the flower on me and gave me the biggest hug and then turned to my husband and they gave eachother the biggest bear hug. They are both over 6 feet tall and it was quite a site to see these two tough guys hugging with tears in their eyes.
You take it for granted sometimes that you shape the life of your own kids and you make a difference in their lives, thats a given. But when you do it for another child its a different thing.
I tell you all this because its worth it to help a child if you can.
Even though I didn't actively go out and try to foster a child he came to me, I guess we found each other or maybe divine intervention.
I did what I was suppose to do in that situation, what I was meant to do.
I don't know where he would be right now if I hadn't been able to help him. I can tell you for sure it wouldn't be good.
So I give alot of credit to people who go through all the steps it takes to be a foster parent and to really help these kids. It can make all the difference in the world where these kids end up.
My hats off to you for doing it again and again.
