Frustratedearthmother's Journaling Journey

[flowerbug]

wow! 14,000 messages in this thread of yours. quite an adventure.

from your first message in this thread:

"10. In what way(s) will you never choose to become self sufficient? Would prefer to never live without toilet paper!"

Who would know that Covid would turn things upside down as it did? ...

 

[frustratedearthmother]

"10. In what way(s) will you never choose to become self sufficient? Would prefer to never live without toilet paper!"

Who would know that Covid would turn things upside down as it did?

True that!

i've never heard of a fish swallowing the line like that where you had to cut it to get it out. would have been worth a vid or pictures for sure!

The fish strike practically anything that hits the water. I guess that's because they're accustomed to me tossing out feed so they start biting without being particular about what they bite. Having a fish caught on just plain fishing line was unique to say the least. Took me a minute to figure out what was going on and how to get it off the line without literally ripping out it's guts.

i'm assuming you do have a rifle if needed.

No shortage in that department.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Met with new neurosurgeon today. Really, really like him. He's pretty conservative and not wanting to jump straight to surgery. He's also ordered an MRI of the cervical spine. He wonders if some of DH's issues, like dropping everything he touches, and legs that dont' follow orders, could come from cervical issues. We've been told that might all be neuropathy, but certainly willing to look at other possibilities. He also ordered more PT. YaY for that, because DH won't do anything on his own.

Caught a catfish today from the pond. Decided to go ahead and harvest him. Got at least an ounce of meat off of 'im, lol. Decided to freeze him and hope to get some of his friends to come to a fish fry! Cleaning him wasn't as hard as I thought it might be. I've never really skinned a catfish by myself, but I can't say that anymore.

Kinda wanna go back out and fish some more. I only took 4 worms with me. One fish per 4 worms isn't terrible, but I hate giving up my worms, lol. I've been growing them for awhile and I'm kinda attached to 'em.

Need to figure out something for dinner.

 

[frustratedearthmother]

Rain, rain, and more rain. Think this little episode is supposed to last several more days. It's been wet/rainy since the hurricane. Definitely need it to stop! I've noticed that my most parasite susceptible goats (nubians) are looking rough. Can't let the parasites get the upper hand here so started treatment. Parasites are so resistant these days that different action has to be taken. Two different classes of wormers at a time then follow up 10ish days later with another class of wormer. It's a challenge but breeding season is coming up. Gotta keep 'em in good shape.

Already put the trash out for pick-up in the rain. Guess I'll go feed the critters in the rain too. Been sitting here hoping for a reprieve for long enough. Ain't gonna happen, lol.

 

[Mini Horses]

Rains here,too.!! I just dewormed Monday. I keep at least 3 types to mix, etc. they've quadrupled price in last 2 yrs. I'm sure you've noticed

 

[frustratedearthmother]

I'm sure you've noticed

Yup! I have definitely noticed!

 

[frustratedearthmother]

I've tried to stay busy today. I'm tired, thank goodness. Maybe I can sleep tonight. It's been a year today since I lost my precious daughter. It's been a year of the most unthinkable, unbearable pain and sadness. It's also been a year that has resembled a lot of years. A lot of normal things have happened this year, but they've been overshadowed by loss. I tell myself not to dwell on it, but there's no way not to. It's involuntary. I go through the motions. I do what I need to do. But the heart never forgets that it is missing a huge part of itself. Grief lasts forever. It lasts forever because love lasts forever.

A few weeks ago DH and I were asked if we had children. He answered and said he has one child with his former wife and that I have one child. I immediately corrected him. I have TWO children. That will never change even though one of them is no longer on this earth. I still have TWO children.

Bottom line is that even though it's been a sad day...it's no different from any other day. Every morning when I wake up I remember that my daughter is no longer here. It's like a new death every day. But, its also a new day every day. A day with possibilities. A day to be appreciated and enjoyed in any way possible. She would approve.

I miss my girl...

 

[Mini Horses]

 

[flowerbug]

... But, its also a new day every day. A day with possibilities. A day to be appreciated and enjoyed in any way possible. She would approve.

I miss my girl...

i go water my plants with some tears in my eyes.

 

[murphysranch]

I cannot imagine. Long gentle hug from me to you.