Hen23's Journal~Goodbye

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FarmerDenise

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From the descriptions here of ADD, I wonder if DD has it? We just didn't notice, because we didn't try to put an agenda on her and also listened to her.
In High School she used to drive me nuts, because she would have the TV on while doing homework. When she explained to me that she could concentrate better on her math, I watched her and checked her behavior with TV on and off. Sure enough she would get all frustrated and antsy without the TV on and was able to do her math homework without a problem with the TV on. So, realizing that she knew herself better than I and that she is a different and seperate person, I let her keep the TV on.
We also had a problem in Junior High SChool english, where the teacher had assigned a simple book report for the kids to do. The problem was that mot of the kids were reading at 5th grade level and were reading books like the babysitters club. DD and her friend were reading Wuthering Heights, The Stepford Wives and Gone With The Wind. The books my DD and her friend were reading had complex plots and were just not suited for the simple book report. DD and her friend kept being admonished for not turning the book report in. The problem was the the girls could not figure out which plotline to use for the report.
I finally went and talked with the teacher. She would not believe that the girls were reading those books. I spent a lot of my time arguing with her and finally got her to agree to just let the girls write a book report about the book, period.
When I questioned the teacher about teaching my DD at her reading level, she said that she had 30 kids and had to make sure they all passed. I asked to have my DD put in a class with others at her level, I was told the school believed in putting the smarter kids with the ones not so bright, so the slower kids would learn from the smarter kids. I was enraged. I said, so my daughter is here to teach the other kids and not for her own benefit! It was after that, that she agreed to my terms of DD and friend doing there own reports on they books they liked and read.
Her history teacher managed just fine BTW. I had no complaints. I watched him teach and he got every student's attention and made every student feel good about him or herself. He was one of those very special teachers, talented and dedicated. Too bad we can't get more like him.
 

freemotion

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miss_thenorth said:
Totally hijacking here :D. the kids and I were at costco yesterday and we passed the chips section. My son looks at a bag of Cheetos, and says "Put down the Cheetos"

He reads over my shoulder sometimes and knows Free's avatar :lol:
:lol: You must be so proud!! :gig
 

Henrietta23

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We need a bumper sticker. Seriously!! Free, get on that would you??
The more I read the more I see ADD without the H as being a fairly accurate description of DS. So we investigate and move on. Lots of stuff to try.
From descriptions here I can see that I most likely have it to some extent as well. I drive DH nuts by having two books open any time I'm watching TV. There are books lying around all over every flat surface. There are mysteries and cookbooks, and books about kids and nutrition and gardening. My computer never has one window open. I've got work email and home email and SS and Facebook and......
Coincidence only, DS and I are not biologically related.
DS had two behavior referrals today for poking and pinching. WTF!?! (sorry-I'm losing it here). Two different boys. He says they were teasing him earlier in the day. One had a Nintendo DS and wouldn't let DS look on. DS desperately wants one of his own for his birthday. He is hyperfocused on anything and everything DS. So of course he wanted a look at the thing. Well, the other kid was having none of it and said some mean things to DS. So later on DS got his revenge. Sigh. I emailed the teacher on that one since they're not supposed to have them at school. My mom says they all bring them in for the bus ride. Well, when DS gets his, he will NOT be bringing it to school and if he attempts to sneak it in it will be MINE.
The other kid he says was teasing him about going to jail over getting in trouble the first time and having to go to the principal's office.
They have the school psychologist observing the class, which IMO can only be a good thing. If her class is being watched she can't text her own sons every 10 minutes!! I've specifically asked that DS's seating be addressed. I'd like to see him out of the lonely desk in the corner.
Her new thing is suggesting that he wear a "hug wrap" for half an hour here or there. She sent it home for him to try here. It doesn't fit him. It's too long. He can't sit in it if it's down lower. If I pulled it up his arms stuck straight out. It was stupid. His take on it is that it is just one more thing to make him different and cause him to be teased.
 

Dace

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What? A hug wrap!?

That is stupid. Of course kids will tease him!

Good grief, even I can't wait for him to be out of this class!
 

freemotion

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wow. wow. wow. (shakes head at the idiocy in the schools....)

Not really surprised. I've had teachers come through my classes at the massage school and they have to do "log hours." They do health intake forms and practice massages and write them up as homework. I don't accept for credit any intake forms that are not absolutely complete....no "occasional" or "social" in the achohol or smoking questions, for example, I require specific answers. Anyhoo, I've come to the conclusion that young teachers (not all) are some of the heaviest drinkers and pot smokers and so are their friends and colleagues! I'm talking a six-pack every day and a case on the weekend. Sheesh!

Watch out....looks to me like she is trying to make a case for getting your son on meds to make her life easier.
 

freemotion

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Henrietta23 said:
We need a bumper sticker. Seriously!! Free, get on that would you??
:gig WZ messed with my avatar picture one day as a joke, and I took it as my official avatar.

BTW, I was talking to a mentor of mine in the nutraceutical consulting business, as she works with dozens of doctors. She told me that some of the most brilliant ones do things that at first appear rude....one surgeon does crossword puzzles and such while listening to her or to lectures. It actually helps him focus! He needs to do something that is "mindless" to him (I shovel poop, but I'm not as brilliant apparently!) in order to be able to take in what is being said. She said it is fairly common.

Sounds like ADD to me.....shall we medicate them into a stupor so they don't have to be "rude?"
 

Henrietta23

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freemotion said:
wow. wow. wow. (shakes head at the idiocy in the schools....)

Not really surprised. I've had teachers come through my classes at the massage school and they have to do "log hours." They do health intake forms and practice massages and write them up as homework. I don't accept for credit any intake forms that are not absolutely complete....no "occasional" or "social" in the achohol or smoking questions, for example, I require specific answers. Anyhoo, I've come to the conclusion that young teachers (not all) are some of the heaviest drinkers and pot smokers and so are their friends and colleagues! I'm talking a six-pack every day and a case on the weekend. Sheesh!

Watch out....looks to me like she is trying to make a case for getting your son on meds to make her life easier.
That's the general consensous, she wants it easy. Her personal life seems to spiralling out of control. She left today because of basement flooding (we ALL have it here today!) Mom saw DS a while ago and got a thumbs up from one of the paras.
The Huggie Wrap is a neoprene thing that wraps around the torso like a "hug" and velcros to itself. Teacher had the nerve to ask my mother if DS gets lots of hugs, etc at home. That one is getting reported to the principal. DON'T talk about this stuff with my mom, and how DARE she question my affection for my child!! She knows DS lived in an orphanage for almost a year. That legitimately could have an effect we're still seeing but to doubt that I haven't done everything I possibly can to make up for it. I was so angry when Mom told me I cried. ergh! I also know one of the other moms from the class was planning to talk to her kids teachers (she has one twin in each second grade class) about the effects of emotional deprivation in infancy. Her kids came to her as foster children when they were about 4 months old and have lots of issues, especially her daughter. We had talked a while back and she told me she thought the teachers needed more training in this area. There are three adopted children in DS's class of 25 that I know of, and 2 in the other second grade class. That's 10% of the second grade class!
I have often heard the teacher say that she needs a glass of wine. I have no doubts she can go through a bottle a night some nights. She's even called me a little tipsy to ask for help in class with a project or something. She's in her early 50s and has been doing this a while. Who knows though. DH has had her sons in class and they could have access to anything! It's not unheard of for parents and kids to share. She's raised 6 boys of her own. She has shared that at least one is bipolar. I can see that she could see herself as a kind of medication expert. I don't know where she got off suggesting the huggie wrap. I have no idea if she's had appropriate training to know if it would help him. My guess would be NO.
At home I have DS chew gum while doing his HW. It helps, but I can see it being an issue at school since he can't help but blow bubbles and chew like a cow. Wonder where he learned that??? :rolleyes:
 

miss_thenorth

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First, let me say that my son is not add or adhd. But he was a very energetic young kid. (He's more focused now at 13)

Most teachers had no problems with him--they knew how to handle him and knew what he needed. Then there were a few who tried telling me that he had medical issues and that I should get him checked out for adhd. (my paraphrasing--they were more cautious with their wording). those were the teachers who wanted their life easier, and thought conforming my son would be the best way to make their life easier. Their personalities just clashed with his, so therefore in their minds, something was wrong with my son.

I tfrustrates me, cuz it hurts the kids. My son used to challenge everything he heard that he disagreed with, or didn't understand. Now he doesn't. So, those few teachers taught him not to challenge things. and that is how he learned. Now, I have to keep at him to challenge the thngs he doesn't understand. Some teachers should not be teachers.

You should suggest that the teacher wear the huggie thingie. Maybe she needs hugs :/


You must be so proud!!
:D they even knew better than to pick up any chips. he just saw them and blurted it out. :p
 
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