Hen23's Journal~Goodbye

[abifae]

It kills me that even today teachers don't always "get it". I have my days too when I just can't seem to hold on to the fact that my Autistic students aren't wrong for thinking or acting the way they do. They're just being them. When I can't get my planned activity to jive with their particular mindset in that moment it gets frustrating. I'm trying to be better about adapting as I go. I hope that the Autism programs out there are doing a better job than what you endured!

As I consider going all the way for my certification I'm thinking more and more about getting involved in an Autism program eventually.

They are and they aren't. They are recognizing autistics have issues, but they are making it into a big Thing.

Giving them drugs to a too big extent (honestly most auties would learn better with a bit of anti anxiety meds going, but they give them soooo many drugs now). Making them think they are less than. There is no push to succeed. Not from any autism group I've seen and I belong to GRASP.

Most of what GRASP is, is whining about how HARD it is to be autistic and why we should all be granted disability. There is very little about how to succeed. It drives me nuts. Any success story is hailed as an anomoly.

*rants*

There is no reason for any highish functioning spectrum person to not hold down a full time job and have friends and hobbies. They make it sound like this is a really impossible goal, and those few who make it are really something special. Pffff. Bull *bad word*

 

[Farmfresh]

The program that I work in has a lot of autistic students, but there are other special needs children as well. We are not treating it like an "Autistic Program" either. The kids all have common problems like a lack of social skills, behavior issues or issues with language of some kind. Those types of troubles happen to lots of kids.

I really have not seen too many other programs that are as specific to real issues that many autistic people have as ours is. We try to teach the kids skills that will help them compensate for some of their natural deficits. Like how you mentioned that you learned to put a hat on when you could see your breath Abi. I am going to use that one! We have one child in particular that has a problem dressing appropriately for the weather. With the right skills learned everyone can have more success in life.

It is all a matter of the implementation. When hubby was a kid he had a horrible time with his dyslexia in school. Bad experience for him. As more people got a clue and learned how to help my kids had a better time of it. Still trouble but better by comparison. Hopefully the autistic children that I have to work with will have an easier time than you did Abi.

 

[abifae]

Luckily, my dad taught me a lot of skills that have helped, and I've had friends help fill in some blanks.

I think I just get REALLY annoyed when the GRASP newsletters come out LOL.

 

[Farmfresh]

I understand that though.

I get REALLY irritated when people with special needs are just given a pass in life. We have some kids come to us like animals - seriously. Some people just have NO expectations. They are disabled in some way, sometimes minor, so the parent either feels guilty and has no rules for them or just truly believes that they can not do any better. SO WHAT you have a disability of some kind. Does that then mean you can be rude, or mean with no consequences?

If you raise the bar a bit EVERYONE can improve. Each person should be expected to be the best they can be, disability or not.

 

[abifae]

If you raise the bar a bit EVERYONE can improve. Each person should be expected to be the best they can be, disability or not.

Exactly!!!

I think coddling is the worse thing you can do. Not only does it ruin a person, it's INSULTING.

Every article in GRASP about autistics runs along these lines:

Autistic youth surprisingly loves hockey, becomes an assistant to the high school team.

And all the stories about growing up with autism are about how HARD it was and how bullied the kids are and blah blah blah.



Can you tell I got the monthly newsletter recently? *giggles*

I think I mostly get it to have something to grump about. Actually, sometimes there are neat articles about the science of it. It's rare though. I dropped off all the yahoo groups. They were serious pity parties.

If someone succeeded, you would actually see most of the posts explaining why THEY can't succeed. That's healthy!

LOL

/ends rant

 

[Henrietta23]

This is what I see in the HS where I work. The autistic kids are mostly coddled and not given opportunities when they are younger to function independently much at all. They have one on one paras to help them with everything. I've seen paras carrying a kid's backpack to the bus when there's no physical reason for it. Just a small example but I'm sure you get the idea. We have one senior who is very high functioning, but very egocentric. It's just part of who he is and it is his most disabling characteristic. He has a one on one that shadows him throughout the day and whenever he lets a responsibility slip she is right there to set back on track. She was out for a good long time after having a hysterectomy. He fell apart. Missed a lot of school, had meltdowns like he hadn't had in years, temper tantrums, the works. His special ed team expected him to be able to go out in society next year and hold down a job. They got a bit of surprise.
So Abi's and FF's experiences are the reasons why when I get all gung ho about working specifically in the field of autism I always seem to take a step back. Maybe it's a matter of figuring out where I can have the most impact? I dunno.
It's looking like a cleaning and purging weekend. I've washed down counters and cabinets in the kitchen. I'm taking a break from unearthing the kitchen table. I may even do the floor. Figure I might as well enjoy a clean floor while I can before mud season hits! I am wanting to paint my kitchen cabinets. They are painted white and need refreshening. The walls are a very gray blue. I found a yellowish green color that really caught my eye. The chip has been taped to the cabinet for weeks. I've looked at it in all kinds of light. I still like but it's an out there kind of color. I'm feeling nervous about going for it and I'm too cheap to buy a sample of the paint. I think I'm going to have to though or we'll never move forward with it or end up painting them white again.

 

[glenolam]

Wish I could chime in but....

So...when ya coming over to visit!

 

[abifae]

So Abi's and FF's experiences are the reasons why when I get all gung ho about working specifically in the field of autism I always seem to take a step back. Maybe it's a matter of figuring out where I can have the most impact? I dunno.

Well, I think you can help without coddling. You can tell a person their attitude turns others off and find ways that they are wholly involved in their own school work - including tracking what is due when - so they can learn how. You can be an aide, not a crutch.

Having someone there to translate can be really nice

Auntie spends a lot of time helping me but no way would she EVER carry my bookbag LOL. So I think those paras are lazy. It sounds like they are doing more work, but they really aren't. It is much more work to work WITH the kid and help them learn what they are capable of and involve them in their own lives.

I think you'd do great with autistics because I think you'd be more likely to say "what homework do you have today? Where did you write it?" than to follow with a notepad taking the notes for the kid.

 

[Henrietta23]

So Abi's and FF's experiences are the reasons why when I get all gung ho about working specifically in the field of autism I always seem to take a step back. Maybe it's a matter of figuring out where I can have the most impact? I dunno.

Well, I think you can help without coddling. You can tell a person their attitude turns others off and find ways that they are wholly involved in their own school work - including tracking what is due when - so they can learn how. You can be an aide, not a crutch.

Having someone there to translate can be really nice

Auntie spends a lot of time helping me but no way would she EVER carry my bookbag LOL. So I think those paras are lazy. It sounds like they are doing more work, but they really aren't. It is much more work to work WITH the kid and help them learn what they are capable of and involve them in their own lives.

I think you'd do great with autistics because I think you'd be more likely to say "what homework do you have today? Where did you write it?" than to follow with a notepad taking the notes for the kid.

I absolutely agree they're being lazy even though it seems they're doing more of the physical work. It's easier to just do it than to teach someone the how and why they should do it themselves.
The one boy was speaking of earlier is really tough in terms of grasping another's point of view. He hasn't gotten it to date. It's one of his communication goals that I've watched my supervisor work on with him for two years now. He just doesn't seem to be able to put himself in another person's place.
He also was incapable of doing a senior service project. He simply refused to do it. I'm not sure what the administration decided to do. It's a requirement for graduation.

 

[Farmfresh]

Darn tootin it is more work to push a kid.

I have seen a lot of those enabling paras and teachers out there.

It is SO important to a person's sense of worth to do tasks for themselves. People think they are helping when all they are really doing is stealing from a disabled person!! Stealing their sense of pride in a job well done and stealing their sense of accomplishment when they finally master a difficult task. I have two boys right now that I am PUSHING HARD in Math. They are close to working at class level now when they have been quite far behind due to a "helpful" teacher that did not make them work too hard so they could avoid any frustration. Of COURSE they are going to get frustrated ... didn't you get frustrated when learning long division? It is my job to support them and push them through all of that. The sense of personal pride they feel when they start "getting it" and producing 'A' level work is something that makes all of the work worthwhile.

Now how do we get that through to the "helpful" ones?