Hen23's Journal~Goodbye

[Henrietta23]

Now how do we get that through to the "helpful" ones?

If you figure that out, let me know!!

 

[abifae]

The one boy was speaking of earlier is really tough in terms of grasping another's point of view. He hasn't gotten it to date. It's one of his communication goals that I've watched my supervisor work on with him for two years now. He just doesn't seem to be able to put himself in another person's place.

I suck at that too. I have learned a lot by rote. If x than y... but I don't get it at all and I find the people who follow these ways very silly. So I can answer by rote, but my sense of "you are so silly" just oozes through >.>

He also was incapable of doing a senior service project. He simply refused to do it. I'm not sure what the administration decided to do. It's a requirement for graduation.

Silly kid. Did someone tell him he could work with animals or quite a few non-human things???

It is SO important to a person's sense of worth to do tasks for themselves. People think they are helping when all they are really doing is stealing from a disabled person!! Stealing their sense of pride in a job well done and stealing their sense of accomplishment when they finally master a difficult task.

EXACTLY! My step dad says there is pride in ANY work.

And this isn't just disabled kids. I think the biggest reason America is like it is, is because ALL the kids are being coddled. No one is allowed to sob in frustration because they are being pushed beyond their comfort zones. No one loses. No one fails. No one tries anymore.

GAR!

For the record, I burned more homework than I completed doing division My dad would let me burn my failures AFTER I tried again to do it right. So most assignments I did seven or eight times and got to burn all but the accurate one LOL.

Now how do we get that through to the "helpful" ones?

Until they want to deal with the tantrums that come with an autistic being pushed.... ain't gonna happen.

One thing I love about Auntie is she lets Max meltdown. She changes things because that's just her and he can deal. For his functioning level, he is amazing at coping with changes. And it's because she doesn't coddle.

I am about to get my CNA and have worked ON PHONES for two years. Phones are the anti-autie job, trust me. But it's because I've never been told what I can and cannot do. My dad said, if you cannot do it, find a way around it. Learn how to make this work anyway. He was really supportive about any crazy idea I came up with to make things work.

I honestly think I would have been ruined if I was born five years later and in the midst of the ADD drug phase.

 

[Denim Deb]

Abi, I really like you're Dad's statement. I've done some limited work w/auties, Asperberger's children, mainly in the karate school I used to work in. I'd be lying if I said it was easy. It could be frustrating. But, it was also very rewarding.

 

[abifae]

Bwahahaha. I would NEVER say that teaching me is easy

Unless I already know the material. *beams*

We are a frustrating group of people. But so are NTs. So there. nyah!

 

[Henrietta23]

As for the silly kid, yeah, a number of us tried to show him there were ways to make it work for him. I'm not sure how to describe his attitude other than to say he didn't care. It didn't fit into his idea of what he was going to do and he doesn't seem to be able or willing to move to a point where he can do things just 'cause he has to. He honestly just doesn't care, but in an autistic way. If that makes sense.
Did I mention he wants to be a hairstylist? Um, it ain't gonna happen. He and I had a conversation about it last year. His plan was that he would cut people's hair the way he wanted to. It didn't matter what they wanted. He couldn't handle the fact I won't cover my grays. He brought it up almost every week.
I agree Deb, totally frustrating and yet extremely rewarding!

 

[Farmfresh]

You were really blessed to have the Dad you did, Abi.

 

[abifae]

Did I mention he wants to be a hairstylist? Um, it ain't gonna happen. He and I had a conversation about it last year. His plan was that he would cut people's hair the way he wanted to.

That is VERY autistic. *cracking up*

The hardest thing is realizing that those people in their little universe's are in charge of their little worlds as much as we are in charge of ours. I found it helpful to say "that is how it works in your little world. In my little world, it goes this way"... Keeps me remembering they are somewhere else that I cannot control. Even though they would be much better off if they let me.

You were really blessed to have the Dad you did, Abi.

Yeh His goods definitely outweigh his errors!! When I was in my early 20s those errors seemed much bigger. Now I'm meh ... so sometimes he was age inappropriate. If he didn't do what he did, I'd be soooo much lower functioning. It was good for me to run a house!

 

[Farmfresh]

You mean you are a typical kid!!

Parents always get smarter when the kid gets some age on them.

 

[abifae]

Too true!! I was averagely moronic in my early 20s, as should be



I told my dad maturity is when you stop blaming your parents and start feeling sorry for them. Yep yep. I'm there. My gosh, you seriously put up with me???

 

[Henrietta23]

Yup, I watched her interview with Roseann. Who knew? Roseann is now attempting to live a self sufficient life on her macadamia nut farm in Hawaii? She has goats! And a black sheep named.... Roseann!