28 June 2010
its good to be home, and back to a somewhat schedule. Of course that is frequently interupted with bouts of crying...but I recover and press on.
If you all dont mind, I would like to get this out in black and white...at least what I can put out there. Not all the details can be told, because of legal issues...but here is what I can tell you, and NEED to tell you all.
FIRST, thank you all, for the prayers. I know in my heart, that your prayers are what got us through it all.
Friday, June 18th, we get the call that my son David was swimming in Stanley Draper lake in Oklahoma, when he went under and did not resurface. This all happened in front of my other Son Jason....his son 4 yr old Iziah, and 2 of Davids sons Nathan, 9 yrs old, and Aiden, 7 yrs old. Thankfully Jason was thinking straight enough to NOT jump in but to call for help. We all know, if he would have tried to get to his brother, we would have lost him as well...and the 3 children would have gone in after them both. Then we would have had 5 to mourn for. Saturday morning, the authorities let the family members go to the waters edge, to help search. My son Jason was walking through the wooded area, screaming for his brother....hopeing he would find him. The divers recovered my sons body, Saturday afternoon. I got the call from my son Jason...he was crying...and said.." Mom, I am so sorry, I couldn't save him, I couldn't save my brother" This hurt me to the core. I was in Indiana, and couldn't get there fast enough to comfort my son Jason. I tried to explain to him, he did the right thing.
Sunday morning we left for Oklahoma....my husband, my son Robert and his wife, and my daughter, Jennifer. We drove to St Louis, and stopped to get a room. Monday morning, I got a text from my brother, letting me know my father passed away, in Florida. I completely lost my mind at this point. We got back on the road to Oklahoma. Once we got there, we checked into our room...on Tinker AFB. When my husband and I went inside, and told them who was was....the woman behind the desk said.." I am so sorry for your loss, was alcohol involved?" !!!!!! I wanted to reach accross the desk and strangle her. I was dumbfounded by her comment. I calmly said. " No, there was NOT alcohol involved, he didnt drink, and he didnt use drugs, he was a good boy" Then I turned around and walked away..and cried.
Tuesday we went to Jason...we cried, and held each other, and I tried to console him. His pain was hurting me so deeply. I cintacted Davids wife to let her know we were there, and for her to let me know if I could help with the arrangements...or anything. I wanted to see my grandsons..and hold them. We were able to see them Wednesday. I held them and cried. I explained to Davids wife, we needed to have the funeral done by Thursday, as we needed to get back home so my other kids could return to work. She called me later and said... " I just wanted to let you know, I did my best..but the funeral is Friday morning, and I know you have to leave Thursday." ! She was trying to make it as late as possible so that we could not attend. Of course we made arrangements to stay... and I let her know there was NO WAY I was leaving untill I burried my son.
Wednesday evening, we went to the lake where this happened. The family and a few close friends...we wanted to lay 29 candles on the beach, in memory of his 29 years of life. This is where we were all overcome with grief. Jason showed is where he was when he went under...and we all just cried. I wanted to scream out to the lake, and curse it..but I just felll to the ground and cried. After a few minutes it was time to light the candles. I went off to an area I was drawn to, not the spot where he went down. I built my memorial in the sand, and lit my candles. My son Jason came over and asked me why I picked that spot. I told him I was drawn to the spot, and thats where I wanted to put them. He then told me that very spot is where they recovered my sons body. I again broke down. I had to leave that place...I couldnt be there any longer.
Thursday was the viewing. 4 to 5 was for family only, then 5 to 9 was friends. We arrived at 3:45. My husband and I was allowed to go in alone before the rest of the family. Once the opened the doors for the rest of the family....we all wept, and held each other. It hurt me deeply to see my other children suffer. I could not console them. At 4:25, his wife showed up with the grandkids. 25 minutes LATE!!!!!!! Her family came with her, and they stayed for just about an hour. She explained to me that they had to leave, because they had a BBQ to go to. I was so angry with her....and her family. They disrespected my son.!! We of course stayed untill 9 pm. They actually had to ask us to leave at 9:15.
Dureing the viewing...my 4 yr old grandson asked me to lift him up to see "uncle David" I picked him up, and me grandson asked me.."why is Uncle David dead?" That hurt to my soul..haveing to explain it to him. I told him we have to say goodbye. Iziah, being 4, took his little hand and waved byebye...and said...bye uncle David. Then turned to me and said.." why isnt he talking to me?" At that time I was overcome with grief and had to pass him to someone else. After most everyone had left...we were waiting on my childrens Godparent to show up from out of state. She got there about 5 inutes till 9. When Iziah saw her coming he asked me.. " Is she coming to give uncle David a shot so he can get up"? Again, I broke down trying to explain it all to him again.
Dureing the viewing...Jasons inlaws called him. She was drunk and threatened to come dureing the funeral and take Iziah. I took the phone and calmly told her that this was not a good time to be threatening him, and to please waite untill we burry my son and we could try to talk to her calmly. She screamed at me.. " I dont give a F*** about your sons funeral..and I will be there dureing the funeral to take Iziah" They have no legal rights to Iziah...and I was going to make sure they didnt come and try anything. I notified the police...and they assured me that they would watch for them. I then told the officer.....if she does get in...I will PERSONALLY take care of her. He assured me they would not get in..that they would watch for Texas plates.
The Drama was overwhelming. I was so sock later that evening, and tried to console Jason that Mom was there to take care of it all and I WOULD!
The funeral went as expected...no extra drama..and we all went back to the room to recover. Later in the evening we went to Jasons house, and spent time with him. He is so angry...and sad...it was hard to leave him there.
We are home now, and trying to move on..some hours are easier than others. With my faith..we will be OK.
Not a problem....I can do that. I mean, after all...she helped pluck chickens, give goats and sheep shots, and shoveled limestone. Maybe I am the reason she wants to move! LOL
She had a little Ewe. I decided to name her...Angel.
Then I told him the lamb was not white as snow...but brown. So he started over..and said... " Its fleec was brown as poop" 
Out of the mouth of babes.
