Deb, catching up on your journal and crying...then smiling...then crying.....smiling again! I so love that you can share your pain and your joy right now...I think that is so important.
I really love the lamb, tractor and goat house! Wow! Your life is happening so fast right now! The training exercise sounds like an important and interesting event and it sounds right down my alley...they did a great job on make-up!
I think you will have these crying times a lot right now but I hear they lessen with time, but still grab you when you least expect it. I think you are doing all the healthy things you can right now to promote healing and to work through grieving.....good job on that, BTW!
Oh BBH, Im so sorry, I didnt mean to freak you out! They really did do a great jon on the makeup. Some of it was so real looking...it almost made ME sick! LOL
Bee....Thank you. Healing is FAITH. When I start to cry, or feel angry, I pray. I know not everyone understands it...but it makes me feel better. My anger altho is a "normal" feeling, is wrong for me. Im not "angry" More...jealous. I know, wierd...but I am a little jealous that #1 Our Lord has MY son... and #2 I am not up there with them. :/ So, I say a prayer for understanding, and peace...and I DO feel better. Staying busy is the ONLY way I can NOT lose my mind. :/
This job out at MUTC has a LOT of meaning to me. I am helping MY community, by increasing the knowledge of our military on how to deal with disasters, frantic people ( I get to be frantic tomorrow ) pain, suffering...and most of all...response times of those we will count on when and IF this happens on our soil here at home. Tomorrow they are sending the women in first..with BAD "burns and injuries" crying, begging for help, asking them to take our "babies" and help them...to see how these young men and women handle the stress of seeing women in pain and suffering. Then the men will come in behind us, and get "confrontational" asking WHY they are not helping us! Ohhh, its going to be F U N ! Altho, I know and the military people know its "role playing" Some of the younger ones did NOT handle it well. One young gal was standing back, clutching her "gun" and BAWLING!! Her CO was yelling at her to get to the front line and talk to the civilians...she just bawled and said " I cant, I cant' please dont make me!" I felt bad for her. But, its "real world training" and if she wants this job, she needs to learn how to handle it. Being a mother, and old enough to be MOST of these kids mother, I just want to grab them and comfor them, and tell them its OK, that we are acting......but we can't. I know...its for a good cause..but wow, I didnt think these young military men and women would take it so hard. I want to hug them, and give them water! LOL ( thats what we are begging for, water, shelter, and first aid)
Tomorrow should be a very interesting day....I cant waite...and..its good money!
I am so impressed with what I just read. I understand the sudden outburst of tears, since we lost our niece years ago.
I love the "role"playing that you are doing to help prepare "our" youngsters
Congrats on the job. I know it may add to your load right now but like you said it is so important. These young men and women who defend us do such an amazing job. Thank you for helping in there training. Perhaps if you learn anything new about how the military is handling these scenarios you could teach us later.
Your goat shed is perfect!!! I wish my house looked like that. I love the rustic logs.
Hi there. I'm catching up on your postings since I read about your son's tragic death. My strongest, most wrapped around hugs to you, sweetie. I cannot imagine.....but my heart aches for you and your family.
Wow - you are doing a terrific service to our country to help train those youngsters. I could totally get into being the actor for the cause.
Your goat shed is super wonderful! Really! They'll love it for sure!
Today was a long, hot day. We had a heat advisroy, but do you think they would not work us in this heat!?? Ohhh, no...Nuclear bombs dont waite for cooler weather. So, we get out Moulage' done this morning, and WALK the 1/2 mile to the site. Its an old hospital, we are the "patients" ( funny since this site used to be used for the mentally challenged) Several players were instructed to be "mental" Boy did they pick the right ones!! As the military was out there setting up thier DECON tents, and medic tents, we were instructed to go out there and " really play it up" My son is working with me, so he and I went out together. Boy, we got to them good! I was haveing a boohoo day anyways...so the tears came easily when my son was begging for help for his child, who was dying. I was screaming and bawling...begging for help..there was a young woman, maybe in her early 20's, who was so effected, she ran away from us. I sorta felt bad for her, but, it IS conditioning they need. We begged for help, water, first aid...pleaded with them to help us, give us information. We were actually able to get one young man to come close enough to tell us " please, just be patient, we are trying to get set up so we CAN help you." After about 20 minutes of begging, we were told to go back inside...and give them a " mental break" Then we started screaming for help from the windows. Makeing signs from whatever we could find. My son and I made a sign from a desk drawer front, and tape.it read...NEED HELP, SEND JESUS! Our CO was impressed...and said it was good to see us working the "faith side"
They were finally able to get DECON set up, and started taking us in to decontaminate..treat...and gave us water. It was a lot of fun, but, with the heat we had today, several civilians and military actually got heat exaustion, and they had to call REAL WORLD medics, and ambulances. Thankfully they had the IV solutions on hand, and was prepared. All in all it was a great day...we got to act out, and the military was getting the conditioning they needed. I could see it in several of the younger ones faces...they were freaked out a little. They knew it was acting, however, we really played it up...falling to our knees, begging for water...screaming at them for walking away. They even had a news crew out there, and did several interviews...and the big brass was there. A 4 star general...who was in civilian clothes, showing other big wigs around. We didnt know who was was, so my son and I ran up to one of the women..and started in on her. She was so shocked at our begging for water. Her eyes were wide, her lip quivered...we begged and pleaded...then she said.." I am here for the tour, I can't help you" My son then asked about the water bottle she was holding...she handed it to him and said" Its empty, but you can have it" LOL We then started laughing with her...and she told us that we were doing a fantastic job, and that we really had her believing for a few minutes that it was real! I love acting! LOL
The DECON chamber was great! With us standing in the heat all day, getting to walk through 2 showers of cold water was a blessing! Then we were carried off in an ambulance to another site where we were treated...and sent back. What a day! Tomorrow is day 5, of 11....I cant waite!