Lorihadams-- hi guys...been busy!

[Bubblingbrooks]

Lori, maybe you could try the marble system
One set for chores and school, and another for good behavior.
It requires 2 jars and enough pebbles or marbles to slightly over fill on jar.
And a reward for when its so full, the lid will not fit on.

The goal is to place one marble in the reward jar for each day of completed chores, school and good behavior.
But if the day ended with negatives, the correct number has to go back to the bank jar.

A friend of mine is doing it, and it solved all the issues with chores.
http://dillondaysdoings.blogspot.com/2011/01/he-did-it-honestly-im-kinda-amazed-how.html

Oh, and keep the jars in a high shelf where they can be seen but not messed with

 

[Dace]

Lori, I was thinking about you while doing chores and had to come back to post again

It seems that aside from your son being a bit um, demanding? Whatever the word that describes his independent streak .....it seems that you are over burdened right now. And yet, there is no where else to place those burdens, so you need to take a good hard look at what you can do to shift things around a little.

For example, you mentioned making and cleaning up dinner then getting the kids bathed....I know that is exhausting at the end of a long day, so why not do baths early in the day? Maybe after school work or after lunch? I used to plan baths for the roughest time of the day which for me (as best as my creaky old mind can recall) was in the mid afternoon around 3ish....everyone was at each other and if we could not get outside an afternoon bath proved to be a good diversion.

Also plan out and prep your meals early in the day, the kids can be doing school work while you are chopping veggies or making a salad, that way a good portion of the work is done before you have to actually start cooking....making clean up seem a little easier. Lean on your crock pot too!

Hugs.....just know that I am thinking about you

 

[Denim Deb]

Lori, what your husband is failing to realize is that you have a job, actually several jobs. And as such, he needs to do some of the work around the house. You are spending several hours a day on schooling. That's a full time job, even if it is just for 2 kids. I think you need to sit down w/your husband and talk w/him about him doing more around the house. Plus, you need to schedule some time just for you and the family needs to respect that, even if it means that you need to leave the house for a day.

When I get overwhelmed, I'll schedule a weekend away. In February, I normally go to Harrisburg for the horse expo. Unfortunately, I don't think I'll be able to go this year because of the problems I'm having w/my truck. But, I'll also go on overnight camping trips w/the horses. One time our plans fell thru. I didn't tell hubby. I went and slept in my tack shed since I needed to get out of the house.

 

[lorihadams]

Thanks guys....now for those of you that read my journal, I don't know why , but you'll notice that I am on the computer MIGHTY early this morning. I had to set an alarm.

Got a phone call from my desperate cousin last night whose wife had been called into work at 7 instead of 9 today and he is on a rotating shift work deal at his new job and is working night shift. So, I'm waiting for 3 of her 4 kids to arrive so I can get the 2 oldest on the bus and take care of the baby until cousin can get here about 8:30-9am. And hubby will not hear of me accepting any money from either of them.

Umm Hmmm.

 

[FarmerChick]

Lori
the kids don't need structure---you do

seriously. You said you are burned out. Tired and have tons to do. (yea I know this feeling also lol) You "probably" should NOT have taken on that tutoring job. Sometimes Lori you MUST say NO!

NO can be your biggest friend thru life lol

No where in writing about your day is "anything scheduled for your fun"
your down time, your relaxation, your enjoyment in life

a book at night on the couch is an escape lol but it isn't "living a fun life" during the day time

you are not lazy. on the contrary, you are swamped and doing it all!

your routine is one of helping and doing for everyone else. you gotta find that balance again. I know, I had too also.

my friend is school...haha...Nicole loves loves loves Kindergarten. She has learned so much and they are well into big math etc for such little kids. She comes home beaming from school and having time with her friends and tells me all she learned.

and yup, I had that discussion of "when Nicole goes to school" should I go back to work. Tony said NO cause the worst thing is if "school" calls with a sick kid, or ya gotta stay home with a sick kid, etc. So we chatted and I am now a stay at home mom. Simple as that. Yea he mentioned a job before, and I told him all the negatives. I went down a list of "if I work--and this happens" "if I work, YOU must do X things instead of me now" lol I swayed him lol

You are something to everyone.
Find that balance and be something for yourself gal!

hang in there----someone once told me "all this drama" is just life

 

[lorihadams]

thanks FC

I know, hubby keeps telling me to get a hobby and my response was..."I'm waitin for you to finish the fence so I can bring my hobby home."

I can't wait to get the goats home....

 

[FarmerChick]

You are were I was Lori

I was so "unsettled" in my life. When I had the kid I thought, do I go back to work, stay home and do what? Do I feel guilty for quitting work? Should I stay home and try to do more, more, more to feel like I am contributing?

funny tons of things run thru the mind

then I realized that----life is not all about work, cramming every minute with "things to do". Life should be about family, church, friends, fun and enjoyment. However you can accomplish that ya know lol

Do you want your kids in school at all? Would you like to try that?
Tell hubby if you put them in school it is a trial period for one year of school. No pushing to get a job, nothing.....just a whole school year to see if it is right for the kids and your family. And if you choose that situation, maybe with him off your back and the kids maybe finding their niche, it might all work out for a great situation for you.....then at the end of the school year, you can decide and rethink your situation about work, etc.

maybe sometimes ya gotta experiment on how the life will run easiest and what is best for everyone ??


Now get this Lori---Nicole just came in my computer room and said she doesn't feel well and wants to stay home. Yea she has been kinda sickly thru the week so I said sure, stay home lol if I worked it would be a mess for sure lol

 

[lorihadams]

Yeah,I worry about it sometimes. The thing is that everyone wants to see proof that we do something all day long but just because I don't have stack of papers at the end of the day doesn't mean we aren't doing something.

People just can't wrap their heads around the fact that my children are 3 and 5. They shouldn't be made to "do school" for 8 hours a day when they could actually work for 2 hours and get the same amount of education. It leaves people wondering what exactly we do and then I start second guessing myself and think "should I do more paper work type stuff? Should we do more projects, should we do more exercises?" Then I have to reign myself in and remind myself that Maddie is 3. She needs to just be 3.

Same with Tyler, he shouldn't be made to sit at a table all day and not be able to just be a kid.

Whenever someone asks me what we DO all day, I get offended. Then I get defensive.

I went to church yesterday and met with the homeschool group there. They just started an art class yesterday but it is $165 for 10 weeks (now 9 cause we missed the first class) for both kids. So now I am in a dilemma. Do I pay for the class and get an hour to myself to talk to the other moms, which makes me a bit uncomfortable to be quite honest, or do I save my money. I don't know. I'll probably just put them in the class. The good thing is that they will both be in the same class so I have an hour free and clear.

I just hate that I have to pay for anything we do. I want to get Tyler in karate lessons but I'm waiting to see if we are going to join the YMCA cause they have classes for kids through there. It will be easier too cause if they get cabin fever we can always go to the pool and the Y is only 10 minutes from my house.

We go to the library once a week for story time too.

I just need to sit down and make a schedule for myself. The kids are getting ready to go down to the bus and the baby is asleep so....ahhhh Daddy is here! He's taking the older ones to the bus now. And the kids just woke the baby up...sheesh.

 

[Javamama]

Lori this is just my opinion, but I think you are putting way too much pressure on yourself about the kids and school They are so young and their learning is NOT going to to show up on paper right now. I think you are doing a fabulous job teaching them the real life stuff - I'm sure not many kids that age know about hunting and fishing and farm life and raising their own food. That's so important.
There is nothing wrong with your son He's being a normal boy. 4 and 5 year olds really test your limits. I was just having that chat with someone the other day - it's that time when they go from being adorable to total stinker. Figure out what he really loves, and not what you want him to love and you will get along much better. I'm not saying throw all your boundaries out the window, just bend a little.
I have always allowed my son almost unlimited time with the computer because otherwise he makes life miserable for everyone. It's not a parenting cop-out, it's giving him what he loves. And he learns so much from these strategy games he likes. He blew his class away with some of their math and other lessons. He's pretty well balanced so far.
I have a book that helped me so much. It's called "It's just my Nature" by Carol Tuttle. It is THE best book on why we do what we do that I have ever read and it helped me solve alot of my family issues. It's a fun read too. I can just about figure out from your descriptions what is going on in your family dynamics and I know it would help you.

 

[Dace]

I agree with Java....your kids are SOOO young! My goodness, some kids don't start kindergarten until age 6, keep that in mind.

I also think that there is a lot of pressure in homes with a stay at home mom. Husbands have very high expectations. After all, they go to work all day to earn the living and we wives try to be perfect and do it all.....sometimes we just need to shuffle things around a bit to make it all work.....perhaps a talk with Hubby about the pressure you feel, maybe he will have some suggestions.

Yu will get through it!

BTW, $165 for ONE hour of interaction sounds like a steep price, even if it is for 10 weeks. Can you pay as you go? Or can you try to find some other actives that offer some social interaction that are cheaper? In my area there are lots of homeschool get togethers, at parks and other public places....but in your shoes, the price might be worth it to find a group of HSing moms that you can talk with and share Information and experiences.