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Beekissed
Mountain Sage
Anyone else have stories or advice on how to keep your mind and emotions from making your body ill?
Mental health is important too! Stories, advice?
- Thread starter Beekissed
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- #52
Beekissed
Mountain Sage
double post...sorry
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- #53
Beekissed
Mountain Sage
Well, here is the list so far....great advice, any way you slice it! 
1. Be careful who you have in your life.
2. Life is too short to work 8 hours a day in a place of constant tension and misery.
3. Do you LET others hurt you by internalizing and not considering the source? If so, remember this.... no one can hurt you if you do not let them!
4. Ultimately, only YOU have control over your own
thoughts/actions.
5. You simply can't focus on the past and be able to see the present.
6. Take time to explore why folks act the way they do, with knowledge comes understanding.....and just maybe some common ground.
7. measure your own worth for what you do, and not what people think
8. Life is too short to spend it being miserable! Let go of the grudges, the drama and the dwelling on things you cannot change....its only making one person miserable~YOU.
I'll add a few to make it a full ten things to help you have peace of mind and a healthier body.....
9. Actively LOOK for ways to be happy, actively AVOID people and things that make you unhappy.
10. Think of ways to bring joy to others~ because it has the wonderful side effect of making you feel good too!
1. Be careful who you have in your life.
2. Life is too short to work 8 hours a day in a place of constant tension and misery.
3. Do you LET others hurt you by internalizing and not considering the source? If so, remember this.... no one can hurt you if you do not let them!
4. Ultimately, only YOU have control over your own
thoughts/actions.
5. You simply can't focus on the past and be able to see the present.
6. Take time to explore why folks act the way they do, with knowledge comes understanding.....and just maybe some common ground.
7. measure your own worth for what you do, and not what people think
8. Life is too short to spend it being miserable! Let go of the grudges, the drama and the dwelling on things you cannot change....its only making one person miserable~YOU.
I'll add a few to make it a full ten things to help you have peace of mind and a healthier body.....
9. Actively LOOK for ways to be happy, actively AVOID people and things that make you unhappy.
10. Think of ways to bring joy to others~ because it has the wonderful side effect of making you feel good too!
Blackbird
Goat Whisperer
A good community we have here!
big brown horse
Hoof In Mouth
We do don't we!!Blackbird said:
A good community we have here!
Thank you Bee for compiling all of this advice!
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- #56
Beekissed
Mountain Sage
Hey....that advice came from all the wise and wonderfully learned folks we have on here. What we can learn from each other about these things is so very vital in a community....its supportive and part of SS if anything is. Being able to diagnose and intervene when problems like this arise, instead of letting it tear down your physical health....well, that's priceless!
We DO have a great community!
We DO have a great community!
Blue Skys
Lovin' The Homestead
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I have enjoyed reading this thread!
There is a lot of wisdom being shared on how to live a better life. The lyrics of two songs come to mind whenever I think of how I want to live or if there is something I need to improve on, both songs by Van Zandt (the brothers).
"It's better to be hated for who you are, than be loved for who you're not."
"Starting today I'm someone I'd be proud to know." - I think about this one often.
I have been struggling with my reactions to myself and others for a while now. I also say the serenity prayer, often.
I am far from the me I would like to be, but I am working at it little by little, being more and more honest with myself everyday.
I also like to remember that it's none of my business what anyone thinks of me.
Thanks to everyone for their input, it really does help to know that life is hard for everyone, but there are ways of making it easier and happier, and that I can do it too! I just have a lot to learn. I know that it just feels hard because it brings more satisfaction. It's always easier just to maintain, it's work to improve, but it's worth it.
Thanks for letting me ramble too.
There is a lot of wisdom being shared on how to live a better life. The lyrics of two songs come to mind whenever I think of how I want to live or if there is something I need to improve on, both songs by Van Zandt (the brothers).
"It's better to be hated for who you are, than be loved for who you're not."
"Starting today I'm someone I'd be proud to know." - I think about this one often.
I have been struggling with my reactions to myself and others for a while now. I also say the serenity prayer, often.
I am far from the me I would like to be, but I am working at it little by little, being more and more honest with myself everyday.
I also like to remember that it's none of my business what anyone thinks of me.
Thanks to everyone for their input, it really does help to know that life is hard for everyone, but there are ways of making it easier and happier, and that I can do it too! I just have a lot to learn. I know that it just feels hard because it brings more satisfaction. It's always easier just to maintain, it's work to improve, but it's worth it.
Thanks for letting me ramble too.
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- #58
Beekissed
Mountain Sage
I'm so glad someone has enjoyed this thread! I've been dealing with mental health issues in my family for a long while and recently they've come to a head, so this one is close to my heart.
My family is largely composed of folks, my Dad in particular, who can hold a grudge over nothing, sees the worst in most people, fear anyone who is different than they are and like to put down those of whom they feel inferior in some way....and in doing so, maybe make themselves feel better?
This has turned out several adults who couldn't be happy if it came tacked to a million dollar bill.....they are incapable of happiness, of being open minded or of having any peace of mind.
I've always found it to be a tragedy that so many folks are a victim of their own minds.
Blue Skys, you are right! It does take work to improve your state of mind. Every day is a constant adjustment, it doesn't just come natural for most folks.
My family is largely composed of folks, my Dad in particular, who can hold a grudge over nothing, sees the worst in most people, fear anyone who is different than they are and like to put down those of whom they feel inferior in some way....and in doing so, maybe make themselves feel better?
This has turned out several adults who couldn't be happy if it came tacked to a million dollar bill.....they are incapable of happiness, of being open minded or of having any peace of mind.
I've always found it to be a tragedy that so many folks are a victim of their own minds.
Blue Skys, you are right! It does take work to improve your state of mind. Every day is a constant adjustment, it doesn't just come natural for most folks.
noobiechickenlady
Almost Self-Reliant
BB & BBH, you are right. This really is an eye opener, seeing how people avoid holding on to the grudges of yesterday and dealing with the indignities of today.
Thanks for starting this thread, Bee, and for compiling the list!
Thanks for starting this thread, Bee, and for compiling the list!
FarmerDenise
Out to pasture
I thoroughly enjoyed this thread. I have learned to deal with the negative stuff and I live with someone who is negative all the time.
I would like to add this: sometimes one needs to see a professional therapist to get over the damage that was done in childhood.
If you just can't let go of hurts or flare up in anger at slight provocations and cannot figure out why or how, then maybe it is time to get some help. Children are good at suppressing hurts that were inflicted upon them to the point that we do not even remember them as adults, yet they affect us. It might come out at an unexpected momemt, like when you are bathing your child and all of a sudden you have a childhood memory of something bad happening to you, or some weird feeling.
I allways tried to have a sunny and positive atitude, but the negative voice was often overpowering. Even if you do remember all the bad stuff that was done to you, it can be very helpfull to see a therapist. They will help you change the negative voices to realistic and positive voices.
I spent several years in intensive therapy. During that time I found my religion that suited me.
I now wake up with a smile on my face every morning and am happy to be alive. I feel like FarmerChick
I just try my best to be kind and gracious to everyone. Remember that anyone can have a bad day and maybe that is why they are being "short" or mean.
I used to take orders for a good mailorder toy company. When a customer was rude to us, we would say: "they must have a bad toothache and have to take it out on someone."
I have had nasty bosses and equally nasty co-workers. I have taken my lunchbreaks in my car. I have had friends turn on me.
Dealing with a teenage stepson has really made me rethink myself and I have realized that the best way I can influence what kind of man he is going to be is by example. So I stick to being kind and gracious, but I won't be anyone's doormat either!
SO's first words in the morning are usually about some disaster or something bad someone did to him.
He does not say: Good morning, isn't it a great day? He says: You're up. You know I am so mad at so-and-so, because he did such-and-such. I am not going to let him come near here again. next time he calls I am going to yell at him, I am going to tell him off, and besides he never apologized for bla-bla-bla. And did you know there was a break-in down the street, they raped and beat and so-on-and-so-on.
This is how I am greeted nearly every morning.
It is hard sometimes to keep a cheery attitude. But I know it is his stuff, not mine. I try to help him realize that he has a negative tape deck in his head. That the whole world is not out to get him. That teenagers do stupid and inconsiderate stuff. And that he is entitled to say: NO. Or he might at least tell people: let me think about it?, but he lets people push him around and then gets mad at them for doing so.
Another thing that might make it hard for us or others to behave in a kind and healthy manner are chemical imbalances or something physically wrong with the brain. Not having a good diet or getting all the nutrients required for our bodies to function properly, can affect our behavior.
I had a neighbor who had a brain tumor that had been growing since her childhood. It was not found until she was in her fifties, at which time it was removed. She became a much happier and more assertive person after the surgery.
Keeping some things to yourself and not letting them out, can be detrimental to your well being. Those are the things to speak to a professional about. If you are so enclined, this can be your priest or pastor or a therapist. You may have to keep looking, until you find one who suits you. But don't give up on yourself, because in the end no-one can help you, if you don't help yourself.
Sharing the bad experiences can help us, but remember also: "misery loves company, but company doesn't love misery".
Here is me wishing everyone a sunshiny day!!
I would like to add this: sometimes one needs to see a professional therapist to get over the damage that was done in childhood.
If you just can't let go of hurts or flare up in anger at slight provocations and cannot figure out why or how, then maybe it is time to get some help. Children are good at suppressing hurts that were inflicted upon them to the point that we do not even remember them as adults, yet they affect us. It might come out at an unexpected momemt, like when you are bathing your child and all of a sudden you have a childhood memory of something bad happening to you, or some weird feeling.
I allways tried to have a sunny and positive atitude, but the negative voice was often overpowering. Even if you do remember all the bad stuff that was done to you, it can be very helpfull to see a therapist. They will help you change the negative voices to realistic and positive voices.
I spent several years in intensive therapy. During that time I found my religion that suited me.
I now wake up with a smile on my face every morning and am happy to be alive. I feel like FarmerChick
I don't really care what most people think of me, those that don't like me or treat me badly can just leave, thank you. I have a few close friends and good family. The mean aunt died a few years ago
I just try my best to be kind and gracious to everyone. Remember that anyone can have a bad day and maybe that is why they are being "short" or mean.
I used to take orders for a good mailorder toy company. When a customer was rude to us, we would say: "they must have a bad toothache and have to take it out on someone."
I have had nasty bosses and equally nasty co-workers. I have taken my lunchbreaks in my car. I have had friends turn on me.
Dealing with a teenage stepson has really made me rethink myself and I have realized that the best way I can influence what kind of man he is going to be is by example. So I stick to being kind and gracious, but I won't be anyone's doormat either!
SO's first words in the morning are usually about some disaster or something bad someone did to him.
He does not say: Good morning, isn't it a great day? He says: You're up. You know I am so mad at so-and-so, because he did such-and-such. I am not going to let him come near here again. next time he calls I am going to yell at him, I am going to tell him off, and besides he never apologized for bla-bla-bla. And did you know there was a break-in down the street, they raped and beat and so-on-and-so-on.
This is how I am greeted nearly every morning.
It is hard sometimes to keep a cheery attitude. But I know it is his stuff, not mine. I try to help him realize that he has a negative tape deck in his head. That the whole world is not out to get him. That teenagers do stupid and inconsiderate stuff. And that he is entitled to say: NO. Or he might at least tell people: let me think about it?, but he lets people push him around and then gets mad at them for doing so.
Another thing that might make it hard for us or others to behave in a kind and healthy manner are chemical imbalances or something physically wrong with the brain. Not having a good diet or getting all the nutrients required for our bodies to function properly, can affect our behavior.
I had a neighbor who had a brain tumor that had been growing since her childhood. It was not found until she was in her fifties, at which time it was removed. She became a much happier and more assertive person after the surgery.
Keeping some things to yourself and not letting them out, can be detrimental to your well being. Those are the things to speak to a professional about. If you are so enclined, this can be your priest or pastor or a therapist. You may have to keep looking, until you find one who suits you. But don't give up on yourself, because in the end no-one can help you, if you don't help yourself.
Sharing the bad experiences can help us, but remember also: "misery loves company, but company doesn't love misery".
Here is me wishing everyone a sunshiny day!!
