MyKidLuvsGreenEgz .. .. COLORADO IS BURNING

[MyKidLuvsGreenEgz]

Just have a moment to write this then I need to continue with consoling my husband... we got a call early today from hubby's sis saying basically that he can no longer have much of anything from his father's farm. Not entitled to his verbal-spoken inheritance (no will). That some of his dad's friends are more entitled to the tools than my husband.

He's heartbroken. Even his mother is saying that he needs to share with the townfolk. Why should he be entitled to any of it? And they are under the impression that we plan to sell all of this?!?! WTF!?

He's on the phone now with his mom, trying to defend his right to drive the 7 hours with a truck to pick up some stuff. Now, he is just wanting to give up.

Tell you this: no matter what happens, my son and I are no longer EVER going to be seeing his sister or mother. Not for birthdays or holidays or funerals. No more free eggs or homemade cheese. Screw them. Not my family anyway. Hates my kid. Don't like me either.

Whatever.

 

[hillfarm]

So sorry for your pain.

 

[ORChick]

I may very well be wrong about this, but here it is for whatever it is worth. It is my understanding (though I have had no experience) that if there is no will there is still a legally authorized way that estates are divided. It may depend on locality, I don't know. However, it seems very unlikely to me that in a no will situation anyone outside the immediate family would have any rights at all to the deceased's property. And I am also pretty sure that your DH's father's wife and daughter have little say in how things are divided. A will will show how the deceased wished his estate to be divided; with no will there are legal ways to make the division.
If this is important to your DH, and it sounds like it is, he should contact an attorney (preferably in the state where his father lived). It sounds like his mother and sister are trying to push him out, but I would bet that he has rights that they (and he) are not aware of.
Although (here I am backstepping, after a bit of thought), it could be that everything devolved to his wife, in which case then, yes, she would have the right to dispose of it as she sees fit.
I'm sorry; I think there are few things sadder than families having disputes over inheritance. This should be a time when families lean on each other for comfort, and not badmouth each other because of stuff.

 

[colowyo0809]

inlaws suck.

 

[abifae]

That's crap.

 

[Denim Deb]

Listen to ORChick. She's given you some good advice.

 

[2dream]

Yes listen to ORChick. In Mississippi without a will the surviving spouse is only entitled to a childs share. In some states the surviving spouse gets it all. So please call an attorney. Every state is different.

 

[valmom]

Nothing like a death in the family to bring out the worst in people. :/ It just seems to happen that way so often. Just try to console your hubby, contact a lawyer for options, and just think- you never have to deal with them again.

 

[MyKidLuvsGreenEgz]

I thought for sure this family would be amicable. It was, until that uncle took the guns before FIL died. Thought that was a fluke, even when MIL said Hubby should "share" one of the few things that provided a good memory of an abusive father.

Then the phone call yesterday morning from SIL that started an entire day of pain.

And last night? After I logged off from my posting and after his phone call, Hubby came in to tell me what he and his mom discussed. He told me MIL (who by the way divorced from FIL about 15 years ago so is NOT entitled to anything) said everyone in the family thinks we're materialistic.

HUH?

MATERIALISTIC.

US.

Because we have a little 2 acre farm? Because we love books and probably have over 2,000 (almost all bought at thrift stores and garage sales)? Because we have some chickens and goats, and a garden, and want to grow what we eat. Because we don't have credit cards and the only real debt we have is the mortgage. No car payments, no nothing.

We just don't get it.

Hubby's sis buys new shoes and a purse EVERY weekend, wears a lot of expensive jewelry, drives the fanciest of cars, and wants her part of the "inheritance" as a part down payment on a new corvette. SIL and BIL are in debt up to their eyeballs, and BIL sponges off of SIL, throwing out perfectly good clothes when someone (namely MIL) can't come by to do his laundry.

I keep hearing different info: yes, there was a will, no there wasn't, yes they met with a lawyer before FIL passed (without my hubby) and he verbally said how he wanted things divided, and no he didn't. I've seen NO paperwork, and right now, Hubby's concerned how asking for a copy might look.

After all the yelling and crying was done yesterday, Hubby sent his sis an e-mail asking exactly what he was allowed to take when he goes back this coming weekend. Whatever the answer, he's leaving on Friday with a friend and a truck and bringing back a few things that hopefully nobody would consider sellable at the auction next week. But even if he doesn't bring a thing back, we'll make do. Somehow.

Will wait for response from SIL to e-mail. Will see what happens this weekend, and with the estate sale/auction and sale of the farm. If Hubby doesn't get an accounting of what's sold showing he got 50% (less her executrix fees, etc), then you better believe I'll be talking with Hubby about hiring a lawyer. Good advice, everyone.

Thanks.

I already told Hubby his family is no longer welcome in my home, and my son and I will not be spending any more time with them, no matter the occasion. He's fine with that. Once things settle down, I'm even gonna e-mail MIL to tell her to cancel any plans for Christmas, that we won't be exchanging presents. How dare she say she won't take sides, then goes on to say her daughter/SIL is right about everything!

Enough rambling.

Sold 6 POL black australorp pullets yesterday, and 2 chicks. Expect to need surgery on my leg in a month or two so getting rid of enough to make our flock a manageable size for Hubby and Son.

I'm going back to bed. Then when I get up to give my kid his anti-siezure meds for the morning, I'll feed the livestock and get started on earning some money. If I have to sell blown-out eggs and whatever I can make with my carpal tunnel hands, I will raise the money to get the tools and tractor Hubby wanted from his father's farm.

Gotta figure out a schedule. Get my life back on track. Maybe only read journals once or twice a week, and update only on those same days.

Big changes comin'.

 

[lorihadams]

I'm so sorry honey....when my great grandmother died we ended up having so many family squabbles over who got what the children decided to have an estate auction and let everyone buy what they wanted. It was a hard decision but one that had to be done.

I hope things work out for you and your family....what is it with MILs these days???