Ohiofarmgirl'sAdventuresinTheGoodLand-where ya been? whatcha been doin

[Javamama]

No frost here. But it's a beautiful fall day! I'm on my own this weekend and diggin the quiet. Well, it's quiet except for when Fran gets a bee in her bonnet Which is frequently. They are 5 months and I'm hoping for some eggs soon. Today would be perfect.

 

[colowyo0809]

we had frost a couple mornings ago. nice hard frost too, the ground was soaked when I went out to let the "kids" out

 

[bibliophile birds]

hey lala! its the whiskers up the nose and the litterbox paws IN my mouth that gets me... dang. we tried shutting the door once. but then it was nonstop crying, catterwalling, and them trying to dig UNDER the door. when we heard the sounds of the battering ram we figured we should just give up and let them cats back in. sheesh!

my dear departed Fig was a licker. like compulsively. i would wake up with cat slobber all over my face and a rash where he'd licked my face raw. weird cat. that i couldn't handle, so i had to start locking the cats in the bathroom at night. it was far enough away that i could just barely hear the screaming through 3 doors.

ps: do you mind if i steal some of your hilarious adventures (like the one with Foxy... i mean, that coyote) for a writing project i'm doing?

 

[ohiofarmgirl]

ps: do you mind if i steal some of your hilarious adventures (like the one with Foxy... i mean, that coyote)

The scene: a swank ballroom in a landmark Hollywood hotel
dateline: today

Amid flashing lights and the chaos that is the paparazzi, heavy security guards, and protesters with Free Nibbles signs a legion of high-priced, expensively shod lawyers takes the stage as the publicist introduces them as the senior partners for Dewey, Schrumhem, and Howe.

The schmarmiest of the lot steps forward and thanks the press and all for attending.

From left stage Ohiofarmgirl is hustled on stage by burly security guards and takes position, and is immediately flanked by even more corporate flunkies. Uncharacteristically she is wearing long dress trousers, a blazer 6 years out of fashion, and is relatively clean. No hat.

Mr. Dewey speaks, We'd like to thank you all again for coming. We are here to make a public statement regarding the licensing, reprinting, or re-telling of our client's life stories. While we appreciate your interest in various tales of hilarity and bravery, at this time we are unable to comply with any such requests.

As you know it is heavily rumored that our client's life story has been licensed by Lifetime Television For Women and is thought to be in production as a made for TV movie staring Angelina Jolie as the lead character. While we cannot confirm these rumors as this time, we can confirm that there has been much interest in our client's tales of bucolic farm life.

On a completely separate, unrelated note, we do have another statement to read.

One of the minions steps forward and hands Mr. Dewey a leather bound notebook which he opens, he nervously takes a drink of water, and begins reading.

Our client, Ohiofarmgirl, wishes to deeply apologize to Angelina Jolie for her recent comments made on set at an undisclosed location. While there may be some truthiness to the allegations that our client said Ms. Jolie is a 'skinny-armed loon who needs to gain at least 20 pounds and get rid of that pretty boy before she can play me!' We stand by our earlier assertions that this was taken out of context but nonetheless wish to extend our apologies.

Unable to control herself Ohiofarmgirl brakes loose from the bodyguards, grabs the mic, and screams, Oh no I don't! That gal....

But the PA is cut before she can get anymore words out and she is tackled by her bodyguards and immediately drug off stage. But not before opening her blazer to reveal a tshirt that reads Brad quit calling me!

Mr. Dewey struggles to regain control of the press and manages to restore order.

That will do it for today. At this time we will not be taking any questions. And no, Mr. Larry King our client is not available for interviews. Thank you very much.

 

[bibliophile birds]

the publicist introduces them as the senior partners for Dewey, Schrumhem, and Howe.

The schmarmiest of the lot steps forward and thanks the press and all for attending.

i'm so intrigued to know which one is the schmarmiest!


otherwise, duly noted.

 

[freemotion]

Where was TBM??? Oh, was he one of the tackling bodyguards???

 

[ohiofarmgirl]

he was too embarrassed to be with me. being "Mr." Ohiofarmgirl is a heavy, heavy yoke......

ha!

you should see him when i start yelling for him at the grocery store.....he turns and walks the OTHER way.

sheesh.

 

[dacjohns]

Who ever said Life on The Farm was Kinda Laid Back? Now go around with that song in your head all evening.

I believe it was John Denver.

Now the song is back in your heads.

 

[ohiofarmgirl]

john denver!? ha! more like something Alice Cooper came up with... sheesh....

 

[murphysranch]

"truthiness"

Is this a new word that will be submitted to Websters for inclusion into the 2011 dictionary? Or is it more corporate speak? Have I been gone that long from Silicon Valley that my cascading diction is transparent to the team, that my deliverables have been enabled by OFG, and clearly, this being said, is a value added word that will bespeak volumes about the truthiness about our friend....(she being in the witness protection program, and all......)