Ohiofarmgirl'sAdventuresinTheGoodLand-where ya been? whatcha been doin

ohiofarmgirl

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Mission: Hunt for Holiday Happiness

Scene: The Good Land, outside the gate, KC calls Yooooohooooooo! OFG!? Are you there?!

Silence

KC looks around, carefully picks her way around the razor ribbon, alligator moat, fire spurts, and ROUS's.

She hears a slight rustling and then... like phantoms out of a mist, OFG and Titan appear. Both dressed in fatigues, with full camo make up, and various foliage attached to their uniforms making them virtually indistinguishable from the background.

OFG: Flash!
KC: Huh?
OFG: Flash! Give the correct answer or meet your doom!
KC: What are you talking about? Its me, KC whatcha doing?
Titan: Sir! Should I engage the enemy? She didn't say "Bang!"
KC: WWWHHHAAAAAT! OFG, its me! KC! I came by to see if you are OK.. we haven't heard from you...
*enormous dog gets low, snarls, and starts to lean in...*
OFG: Sargent Ti! Stand down! KC!? Is that you? Whatcha doin' here?
KC: Just wanted to see what kinda pie you've been making. Whats on the menu?
OFG: Oh golly its you! Come on in!.. wait.. wait.. Sargent!?

The big dog rushes, to attention, salutes, Sir! Yes sir!

Looking around OFG, asks Where are the new recruits?

Just as Ti starts to answer, OFG looks past him and sees Lucky and Kai approaching, both running in a zigzag pattern, but Kai zigs and Lucky zags..and they collide, fall into a heap and burst into giggles. Lucky is painted with yellow polka dots and has a chicken strapped to his head. Kai is holding a stick in her mouth which is the extent of her camouflage.

KC.. hold on a second says OFG as she stalks away, Sargent! Form those men up! Kai! Lucky! Front and center NOW!

The two misfits stand at attention, loosely, and OFG glares at them. Kai speaks first. Um. Momma... I have to pee.

Oh for heavens sakes. Kai didn't you go two minutes ago?

Well... yeah... but being on maneuvers is so exciting I have to go again. Kai nervously hops from foot to foot holding her belly.

OFG lets out a long, heavy sigh. Kai, you know that your job is to guard the property and be on high alert for marauding poodles. Hence the name My Fighting Uruk-hai POODLEKILLER."

"This holiday is supposed to be easy and quiet with NO bad pie, no pre-made food, and nothing from costco. We are HIDING from everyone.

Kai looks up hopefully, I know, I know, 'No MILs this year.' But Momma I really gotta go

OFG sighs again and shakes head, OK fine. Ti, take this puppy to the pee spot. Lucky! Get that chicken off your head and get back on watch, double time!

All dogs salute and race away.

Sorry about that KC. Now why don'tcha come on in. I got some pie and an easy turkey breast in the oven. AL is already inside and we are about to open a bottle of festivities.

KC replies hopefully, You mean a fine pinot noir from MurphysRanch part of the world? I hear thats what you are supposed to serve with turkey.

Ha! Are you kidding? Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like a bottle of tequila! Come on in, baby!

The two walk toward the house as Lala, Dace, Free, and others roar up in a truck with pie forks in hand....

Starting immediately I will be on the couch with an open bottle of tequila in one hand and a turkey sandwich in the other. I intend to sit her for the next 48 hours and will only get up to fill up my pie plate. Oh yes, there will be pie....

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
 

Wifezilla

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I knew there was a logical explanation for your absence :D

Starting immediately I will be on the couch with an open bottle of tequila in one hand and a turkey sandwich in the other.
You know you're my hero, right? :gig
 

FarmerDenise

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I gots my fork and I'll bring a bottle of that californi drink. We got nasty costco pie here, which I will not eat, so I'm coming over.

Happy turkey day!!!!
 

justusnak

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:lol: OMG, I have tears rolling down my face! What a tale! OFG, you slay me! I hope you have a WONDERFULL Thanksgiving...filled with good PIE, and wonderfull memories. Mine will be now! Thanks for the early morning laugh!
Now....where is my Tequilla...I know it was here a minute ago...Awww crap. OFG, I didnt even hear ya comin! Bad pompom dogs! I need a REAL dog!!
 

kcsunshine

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Thanks for the laugh OFG - probably the only one I'll get today.

I got up at 5:30, prepped and put a ginormous turkey in the oven (wishing it were a fresh, home grown one). I'm probably gonna poison my family - I'm cooking for the whole shebang this year. I'm trying out a new crockpot dressing and my daughter's favorite broccoli casserole went into another crockpot. She probably won't eat it because it's not in a long pan and out of the oven. Well, at least I'm serving potatoes out of our garden and hubby's fixin' spinach-mustard greens we grew ourselves. And I stuffed that bird with onions, carrots, celery, and turnips (which we grew also). BAM! Up another notch!

Mom's fixin the green beans (hey we grew them too and she canned them) and she's makin' chocolate pie and pumpkin pie. Well, I think she is - she called me yesterday about 5pm wanting to know what day it was. She went to sleep in her little comfy chair and woke up thinking she slept all night. Oh well, she is after all, 86 years old and on so much medication for so many problems I guess we're lucky she can still manage to get up out of her chair.
 

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