Ohiofarmgirl'sAdventuresinTheGoodLand-where ya been? whatcha been doin

[ohiofarmgirl]

* OFG walks in with full body armor battle gear and a flame thrower, dogs at her side *

All y'all just go on about your business - we got some fightin' to do here.

*takes off helmet, revealing slightly burned eyebrows and a sooty face....*

say...... *points to goats trying to kill each other* do you supposed them silly goats are in heat and thats why they are out there beating the crap out of each other??

*radio squawks something incomprehensible, OFG presses the mic button and mutters something under her breath*

OK enough of this flappin' of the jaws - we got a situation out there. Dogs! on my six....


*all trot away at a fast pace*

 

[abifae]

Oh dear. We aren't going to need another bail fund, are we?

 

[Javamama]

And WHO gave her a flame thrower?

 

[i_am2bz]

Yikes...nothing good can come from this... *shakes head sadly*

 

[ohiofarmgirl]

*the scene - on the battle field, smoke rises in the distance, helo's piloted by the guineas fly low over head, the geese lay down suppressing cover from their turrets as the goats belly crawl their way into the line of fire*

in the middle of the action, OFG and Kai square off nose to nose. OFG raging mad, Kai just as defiant - the pup's battle gear in a pile in front of her, a sparkly tiara on her head

OFG: Soldier! Get your gear on and get back into the fight!
Kai: NO! And I'm not a soldier! I'm a princess!
OFG: YOU. ARE. NOT. A. PRINCESS!
Kai: I am! I am a princess!
OFG: Your name is My Fighting Uruk-hai PoodleKiller and you are soldier in this man's army - now get in there and get to work!
Kai! No I'm not and my name is Princess JellyBean!
OFG: Princess WHAT? Oh you just wait until your father gets home....
Kai: He's not my father - you're not even my real parents... you... you... (gasps) BOUGHT ME!
OFG: Wha........

* in the background Lucky blasts his way into the thick of the fight with a gat, is knocked off balance by a mortar, and is swarmed by a horde of the destructo-bugs. He's knocked to the ground, yells "Request retrieval!!*

OFG (now raging): Colonel Ti!
Titan: Sir yes sir!
OFG: show this recruit how we do business around here! We've got a man down and I'm goin' in - This place crawls.

*OFG fires up the flame thrower, rallies the hens to form a battle line, and pushes her way to Lucky now bound and gagged and being drug off by the bugs. *

Titan glowers at Kai and knocks off her tiara: These are the rules. Everybody fights, nobody quits. If you don't do your job I'll bite you myself.

* scene fades to black with a long shot of the battle field, just as OFG and the hens reach Lucky......*

 

[i_am2bz]

Ooooh! Nice "Starship Troopers" send-up!! More, more!

 

[freemotion]

Next time a poodle here is naughty I'll toss one to Kai and see what she's made of......I'm feeling pretty safe!

Go get them bugs! I'm barefoot and in the kitchen, cuttin' the cheese and makin' soap!

*runs back to stir-stir-stir and get the burnt bug smell out of my nose....cheese cuttin' helps with this, actually....someone light a match!*

 

[abifae]

I love you, OFG.

 

[FarmerJamie]

I feel responsible, for bringing up the flamethrower. this is for you OFG
It's over Johnny

 

[abifae]

OFG's reply:

NOTHING! NOTHING IS OVAH !!!