Plain Dress

[Henrietta23]

So many people raise their eyebrows when I say I need to confer with my husband before making a big decision. He doesn't give me permission....he trusts me. It is a sign of a good relationship and it is a courtesy. He does the same with me. It is sad that more people don't dignify their spouse in this way.

I get that too. And it's exactly the same here, I do not have to confer with my husband with the big decisions I make, but I do because he is much wiser and level headed then I and it makes him feel.... I can't come up with the right term, but it means a lot to him that I desire his input on such decisions.

Here too. And he will also get a raised eye brow or two if he says he needs to check with me before doing or deciding something. We're a partnership.
That brown skirt is gorgeous! I don't think I could pull it off with my thick waist and overall size, but I love it. I agree with Tanks about the belt too. Stunning! The purple cape dress is very nice too! I love that color.

 

[chickenone]

I agree that couples need to confer on big decisions that affect them both, but what I wear is my business. It is not a big decision. I would never tell my spouse what to wear and I expect the same degree of respect in return.

 

[Bubblingbrooks]

I agree that couples need to confer on big decisions that affect them both, but what I wear is my business. It is not a big decision. I would never tell my spouse what to wear and I expect the same degree of respect in return.

Oh dear We do not order each other around on style.
If I did decide to wear a style he hated, he would not order me to take it off.

 

[MorelCabin]

My husband and I both confer with the other on any big decision or purchase as well. It is a mutual respect, and a mutual trust. I don't think we would have ever come this far without it
Of course we would forgive each other if one of us made the mistake of not doing it, but it would also break the trust we have in each other at the same time. We are equal partners, as most Christian couples are...

 

[Shiloh Acres]

I can see it more like saying, "Honey, I really love that shirt on you. It makes your eyes stand out and ... (fill in whatever else you like about his attributes)".

Nothing wrong with that. I have gotten several compliments from the kids (teenagers, so that's saying something!) at work when I've worn some of my favorite long flowing skirts and blouses. Even once when I wore a black shawl over it, so I was REALLY surprised. I wouldn't mind being told by a husband that I looked nice, or feminine, etc. in particular clothing and would wear it to please him in that case. I don't see it as dictating on either side.

As far as the original question, I've wanted to reply but been SO busy I haven't felt I had time for a thoughtful reply. I have been drawn to that style of dress, and can't actually say why. But to me, it says something about who you are, and I have lived among Menonite, etc. communities, and it would feel dishonest to me to dress that way if I'm not part of the group.

I love what appears to me to be the practicality of it, at times. I have to say "appears" since I've not worn them. And I appreciate the modesty of it. I didn't always dress with a care to modesty, but now the person I am doesn't care to be ogled in a wrong way, nor do I want to entice men. I believe it amounts to respect for myself, concern for men, and also agrees with my beliefs to dress in a modest way.

I don't think that equals frumpy though. I love some of my long skirts, which are flowing and loose and pretty much all ankle-length. I usually wear them with pretty blouses. I wish I had more of them.

I also wish I had some more practical long skirts. I can sew a little, so I should at least give it a try. Sometimes I find myself doing farm chores before I get to change, and the skirts aren't bad -- I just don't want to mess up my nice ones and they are not sturdy.

I love the feel of freedom I get from long skirts. To me they are so much less restrictive than pants or shorts. I wonder if there's a way to make them that they still feel cool when it's over 105 degrees with wringing humidity and no breeze ...

I've also been thinking about the covering for certain times of prayer ... interesting to read comments on that.

 

[Farmfresh]

The number of us here that care enough to listen to our hubby's opinion is pretty interesting. Then again many of us have been happily married for a long time.
I certainly understand a woman wanting to maintain control in a relationship, but without mutual trust what is a relationship?

Letting hubby be "in charge" was a tough one for me. I was raised by a mother who domineered her spouse and tried her best to teach me the same. With a lot of work I am finally getting there however. With a good Christian man who loves me "as Christ loved the church" I find the more control I give him the happier I am and more harmony that exists in our home. We definitely have a marriage of love and respect for each others wishes, which is part of the reason we will be celebrating our 30th anniversary this month.

I wear my hair long to please my hubby, but if I went to plain dress or wardrobe of all overalls tomorrow he would be fine with my choices as well. He has always given me a lot of freedom of expression.

As a side note here, my hubby was raised in a Plymouth Brothern Church and we were married in that church as well. In that church all women worn head coverings during services and prayers. I really preferred it to our current Baptist practices. Much more reverent.

 

[Bubblingbrooks]

The number of us here that care enough to listen to our hubby's opinion is pretty interesting. Then again many of us have been happily married for a long time.
I certainly understand a woman wanting to maintain control in a relationship, but without mutual trust what is a relationship?

Letting hubby be "in charge" was a tough one for me. I was raised by a mother who domineered her spouse and tried her best to teach me the same. With a lot of work I am finally getting there however. With a good Christian man who loves me "as Christ loved the church" I find the more control I give him the happier I am and more harmony that exists in our home. We definitely have a marriage of love and respect for each others wishes, which is part of the reason we will be celebrating our 30th anniversary this month.

I wear my hair long to please my hubby, but if I went to plain dress or wardrobe of all overalls tomorrow he would be fine with my choices as well. He has always given me a lot of freedom of expression.

As a side note here, my hubby was raised in a Plymouth Brothern Church and we were married in that church as well. In that church all women worn head coverings during services and prayers. I really preferred it to our current Baptist practices. Much more reverent.

Hey! I grew up PB too

 

[CrownofThorns]

I know very few who's husbands order them around on style. My husband is not ones of those. But I do dress to please my husband (and myself, if he likes it but I don't, then I don't wear it) is just another way that I can give more to him.

I read shortly after we were married that a wonderful marriage is made up of 2 people giving 100% to the other. This is SO true! There have been SO many times where my husband asked me to do something, for example sleeping in the snow cave he built at -20 below, just to see what it's like. I replied with a sweet "whatever you like dear!" even though it was the very last thing I wanted to do! We never went. The more I give up my personal wants and desires, the more I receive them from him. Does that make any sense? The last couple of weeks I have been making a real effort to put my husbands desires ahead of mine, and in the last couple weeks my husband has shown me in SO many different ways how he cherishes me. Things that I have wanted done for ages, are now done. Things that I have desired for ages, are now mine. Just because I put away a little bit of my selfishness and "gave" to my husband.

We had a wonderful marriage before, but now I don't think I know how to describe it. We tease each other and have so much fun every day. It's like being on our honeymoon again.

 

[CrownofThorns]

Letting hubby be "in charge" was a tough one for me. I was raised by a mother who domineered her spouse and tried her best to teach me the same. With a lot of work I am finally getting there however. With a good Christian man who loves me "as Christ loved the church" I find the more control I give him the happier I am and more harmony that exists in our home. We definitely have a marriage of love and respect for each others wishes, which is part of the reason we will be celebrating our 30th anniversary this month.
.

Exactly my thoughts.

It's sad, but kind of funny. DH's grandmother was trying to tell him that he was being domineering and that I didn't have to be a submissive wife yada yada. But the funny/sad thing was that their home was SO full of strife and bickering. She was always arguing and bickering with her husband. My husband and I RARELY argue, and we have never fought. We have a absolutely wonderful marriage and I do not feel the slightest bit "put down" or domineered by him. Rather the opposite. I know that I am a wife that is cherished, and I know it would not be that way if I was always trying to challenge his decisions. Like you Farmfresh, the more "control" I give him, the happier our home is, the smoother things are run, and the happier I am truth be told.

 

[chickenone]

I think it's cool the way all of your marriages work. I am happy for you all. I am just too stubborn and independent. I am happier single. I don't like having to confer with anyone about anything. It's just my nature. I happen to wear skirts most of the time to work; and I wear them longer because my legs are not slender. I dress to hide my figure flaws, which is different from dressing for modesty but amounts to the same thing. The reason I wear skirts is because pants don't flatter me. But, if I had it, I would surely flaunt it. Therein lies the difference, I guess. If I thought showing more skin would make men attracted to me, I would do it because I enjoy attention. I do like men, even though marriage doesn't interest me.