Quail_Antwerp: Words from the Barnyard...

[sunsaver]

I'd like to join that poverty club, FF. If i had my way, i would work part time so i could have it both ways. Being free and ss ALL the time can get boring and lonely. But it would have to be a mom and pop outfit. I just don't fit in well with the corporate culture. I was recently accused on a political site, of engaging in class warfare. I guess the guy meant that he thought i was a liberal who wants a redistribution of wealth. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I actually turned down the government food assistance program because the idea of other tax payers buying my food, while i just sit in the garden and have fun, is just wrong. There's nothing ss about living on the dole, getting something i didn't work for. I guess those political sites are all about attacking you if you disagree, or patting you on the back if they agree with you. I didn't realize at first that it was just a political site. I find the whole left/right argument so boring and full of parrots. None of those knuckleheads has an original thought. That is why i like the ss forum so much. Y'all know i often make bizzare comments, but that i have no political motive. I don't even vote or watch the news, unless someone tells me there's a breaking major story. I'm all about the science of how to be ss. Just the facts. Give me a recipe, a plan, a non-electric appliance, something i can use to support myself. Well, sorry for the slight hijack. Just wanted to give a shout out to my friend FF! Us po folks could tell some stories y'all!

 

[valmom]

Good post, and so true. If you have one, don't give up your day jobs, folks, until they kick you out! We are trying to do it all, and I'm not sure that is possible, either. I work 32 hours and my SO is full time. We are in the country, have the chickens, have horses, have the garden that all need care. I have no time at all it seems. (right now I am babysitting a nervous nellie dog who is shivering and shaking at noises outside! I should be doing other chores on my day off) We have money but no time. We have the luxury of knowing we can buy animal food for all the critters. True farming and SS living is so precarious and so dependant on things you can't control.

 

[lorihadams]

Okay, first, I also read all of your posts and enjoy your journal immensely...

Second, it is hard to make people understand why you live the way you live. I was talking to my great aunt last friday at her beauty shop about how people in this day and age, especially kids, don't understand how food is raised. They don't understand that someone somewhere has to spend the time planting/hatching/birthing it and tending it and harvesting it and packaging it and getting to the store to sell. It doesn't just magically appear. We import a ridiculous amount of food into this country EVERY DAY because we as a society do no understand that food is seasonal and aren't willing to give up apples in January or tomatoes in December. We do what we do because we understand that cycle and know that if we want to have tomatoes in december or apples in January then we need to preserve them when they come in. We know they are better for us and our children that way. You are teaching your children that cycle and how it works. My grandmother told me this past weekend that the first time she ever SAW a tube of toothpaste she was 15 years old. She said they raised everything on their farm except baking soda, salt, coffee and fabric. That lifestyle is just not that common mainstream anymore. The good thing is that your children are learning those skills now.

Third, I totally agree with you about keeping a job if you have one. Verizon is on strike now and everyone expects us to drain our savings so my husband can walk the picket lines and that is a luxury we can't afford. My husband is getting threats on his cell phone (that the strikers pay Verizon for, btw ) They have had to call the police twice this week at his location because they are blocking the entrance when they come to work and when they leave. They arrested a woman yesterday because she sat in front of a supervisor's truck and refused to move. It is just ridiculous. There are lots of people that understand why he is working but I can't understand how they expect everyone to go without pay to prove a point. Verizon wants the employees to pay for a portion of their benefits. Big whoop. I will pay for part of our insurance benefits if it means that my husband keeps his job. But no one understands that.

Fourth, I have also lived in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere and we were fortunate that we could move to a town closer in because it cut our gas bill in half. We are lucky that we live in a town that still has larger properties available to people and I am seeing more and more people putting in clotheslines, gardens, and chicken houses than ever. We have chicken swaps at least once a month here and they frequently sell out of stuff. People are realizing that they can do self sufficient things on a smaller scale. Tiny towns are wonderful but if you don't have a larger town close by jobs are hard to come by. You are in an even more precarious situation because of E's back issues. It may come down to him staying at home and you looking for work because you are less of a liability. I applaud you for your ability to live frugally and still have a happy healthy home for your family.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

E is down at the neighbors now fixing her porch.

We're going down tomorrow and I'm going to visit with her with my foot propped up while E and the kids pick the peaches for her. E said they need picked asap as they are rotting on the tree.

Kind of keeping in with the same conversation I started here - I've another example of what frustrates me.

We have a neighbor (well, she's a mile down the road) who always had an excuse for why she didn't have a job (had to watch grandkids, taking care of her elderly mom, no car, no license, etc. etc. This went on for years). But. She could really give E and me a hard time about E not having a job. We're talking just a few weeks out of his back surgery, he was still in a brace, and she said no matter how much pain he was in he should go get a job. I had to bite my tongue because I so badly wanted to tell her she had no excuse, then, for not having a job, either.

We try to chat with this woman (and her grown children) and keep it friendly because E has known them for 24 years (or so). Her Son in law is the one who goofed off until he lost his job that was a weekly pay. It's hard to talk to these people sometimes, because there is always so much drama wrapped around their lives, and when we do have conversations with them, most of the conversation is their drama. It's exhuasting. She now does have a job, though, and gets paid weekly.

Anyway, I think most of ya'll know we're down to just the truck for transportation now. Transmission went out on the van, and it was going to be $3200 to fix it. Didn't have it. E's truck has a few things wrong with it, mostly minor stuff, but we can only fix it a little at a time as money allows. When this "friend" down the road learned I was auctioning off baked goods, she says to me, "make some money for me, too, because I need $45 more to buy a new hot water tank for my house and I won't get paid until Friday." Um, sorry, I'm not above helping people, but I had a bill of my own that needed paid, hence the baking of pies!

A week or so later, they call us again. Her car has broke down. Can E go down with his truck and tow it home for her? Um, no. 1) it's illegal here to tow a car with a chain. 2) we've told everyone the truck isn't running that great, and yes we are selfishly only using it for our own personal uses.

Then she's complaining that she doesn't have the money to pay for a tow right then. I didn't know what to tell her, other than I'm sorry.

This same woman complains about being broke each pay after she pays her bills. Again, I'm sorry, and I don't think she appreciated it when I said, "At least you know you have a paycheck coming each week so you can pay your bills."

It's my biggest irritation when someone who's employed and can pay their bills complains about having no money. In my mind, being able to pay your bills, even if you're flat broke after, doesn't equate with having no money. You had money to pay those bills, right? Then you DID have SOME money. I'm really the wrong person to complain about finances to. There was money available to you to pay your bills, but you can't afford to eat out or go shopping. Or get a manicure. You're talking to the gal who doesn't have a check coming each week, who's husband has been denied SSDI, even though he's been told he DOES qualify for it, and we're struggling to make sure our bills are paid each month.

Do not complain to me that you're broke - not when you had the money to pay your bills. It's people like her that make me think they don't REALLY know what having no money means.

Ok rant over. sorta.

I just get irritated that we can be worse off than they are, but yet we're always the ones they call for help (usually because they've worn themselves out on their family and other friends).

They didn't have money, but they just went to Cedar Point over the weekend and even stayed in a hotel. What is wrong with this picture?? They all own where they live, so no house payment. They could grow a garden to help offset their food costs, but they don't. I guess I'm hard hearted, because my sympathies are just not with them.

This same woman thought I was crazy to spend money that I had earned driving Amish on Blue Laced Red Wyandottes from Foleys. She thought it was stupid for me to spend the $ on chickens (that I wanted to improve my breeding stock for income this year) when I could have spent the money on my kids and give them "a great Christmas". I told her the kids don't need much for Christmas, and she totally lost it on me. These same people skip paying bills in November and December so they can spend all their money on Christmas. Sorry, I'm not willing to do that!

On another note, a few days ago E and I were talking about after the ground is taken care of (long story, quit claims WERE NOT signed when we thought they would be), of putting this place up for sale and moving out of this county - that we really feel is CROOKED. We talked about how most of our neighbors are elderly, and there's not really any families with children around for our kids to play with. And then we talked about our neighbors are mostly elderly, and they all love us, and we're the ones who mostly help them because a lot of them aren't getting attention/help/care from their own kids. And we know all of the elderly in our neighborhood, and we know what most of them like or how it's best to help them...and sometimes they know we need help and they return the favor.

Like last year I think it was, an elderly man in his 80's came up and brush hogged for us. He refused payment, but I got him to accept a glass of water and some farm fresh eggs. He kept coming back for eggs E has told him anything he needed help with, let us know. He never has asked for help, just comes back for eggs - and we refuse to let him pay for his eggs.

Another elderly gentleman neighbor needed some trees cut down. E did it for him, and a few weeks later the guy brought E and old riding lawn mower. It lasted for a little while before it wasn't usable anymore Earlier this year, this same neighbor had 9 of my ducks in his yard while we weren't home. (don't remember where we were) He came down and left a note that 9 of our ducks were in his yard and if I was missing them to let him know LOL When we got home and got the note, we were heading down to get the ducks. He came up our drive as we were leaving. He said they had them down there still and would help us catch them. So we go down (he's 2 houses down from us) and I asked if there was any yard clean up to do or repair, and he said no that he and his wife had enjoyed their "visit" all day, had fed and watered them, and was happy to see them returned safely to us. And they took a gazillion pics LOL

Which brings me to the elderly lady who was here yesterday. She walked - walked! 1/4 a mile to our house because my chocolate Muscovy drake was down at HER house in the road! So instead of driving down, she WALKED down, herding our boy home. E drove her home, and that's how he found out she has things that need fixed/done at her place.

Again I rambled on and I don't know how much of it made sense.

And I guess we're going to be building a hog pen in the middle of the pasture. I know I mentioned it before, but I'm just thinking back to my first experience with the pigs and I said, "I'm not feeding them" which made E mad - I'm sorry, he wants the pigs, he feeds them. He doesn't feed my chickens and his reasoning is "you're the one who wanted chickens" so my reasoning is, he's the one who wants the hogs. *shudders*

So when we get the hog pen going, I'll have pics to share I spose....I'm supposed to call the local laminate place that gives away their big oak pallets FREE today so E can go pick them up for the hog pen.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

It may come down to him staying at home and you looking for work because you are less of a liability. I applaud you for your ability to live frugally and still have a happy healthy home for your family.

That's pretty much where we're at, but I don't see someone hiring me with me going on maternity leave in just over a month So, it's definitely something I'm looking into once I'm all healed up!

We completely understand not participating in the strike! You do what you have to, and sacrifice what you have to, to KEEP a job in this economy!

E is back from fixing the lady's porch. She now needs a light switch in the house fixed, so E's going to do that tomorrow.

 

[lorihadams]

I agree with you...I know we are fortunate to have what we have and I am not above telling my children or husband "no, we can't do that or go out to eat this week because the bills have to be paid". Lots of people will just charge it and worry about it later and I am not gonna do that again. We charge stuff (gas) but only what we know we can pay off every month.

My latest thing is posting a menu for the week so my kids can pick out what we get to eat for dinner every day. That way I know I have everything on hand for everything on the list and I'm not caught saying "lets just go get something cause I'm lazy today and don't wanna cook". It's hard for my kids to understand that we can't go out to eat every day because when they stay with their grandparents for a week they do that. Um, not gonna happen. Today my son asked me to go get him a goldfish. I said, "maybe we'll think about it for christmas".

I don't know what to tell you about moving darlin', on the one hand you have the house and land that is paid for but you can't get work anywhere close by to help pay the other bills. It worked out for us to move but we had a mortgage...we were able to get a house and land that was equal value for less than we were paying on the other one and we have more space, same amount of land, but we are closer in to town. I am 5 minutes from the grocery store now where I was 25 minutes away before, same for the library, YMCA, church, park. Hubby cut 35 miles off his commute every day by moving where we are and we are close by (walking distance) to several family members if we need an emergency babysitter or help with anything (repairs, use of a tractor, hunting property).

You just have to do your research before you jump into it. If the pros outweigh the cons then go for it but don't get in over your head.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

LOL lori, what I forgot to add to my previous post, is after we thought about our elderly neighbors, we decided moving wasn't an option - at least not for awhile - because who's going to take care of our elderly neighbors if we're not here?!

In other news - WE'RE BEING BLESSED! We're getting a car tomorrow! Not a big, will fit the whole family in it car, but a reliable car that we can use to go to Dr. appts and/or the store...and with the older 4 kids going to school in 2 weeks, so it will be big enough for E, me, our 3 yr old and Baby girl to go away in. Or, one adult and up to 4 kids for if there's a Dr. appt etc.

edited to add, while E was down repairing the neighbor lady's steps, another elderly gentleman stopped in to check on her. This one lives across from my FIL and we've visited him and he with us on a few occassions. He's super nice. He asked E how I was doing and E said, "Well, she fell off our porch last week and sprained her ankle and she's pregnant." To which the neighbor replied, "Oh bless her heart!" (which sent me rolling with laughter, and I don't think E gets the joke!) and then he asked E, "Does she need anything from the store? We're going down and we'll pick it up for her!" So bless HIS heart! and I mean it with sincerity. E told him we were fine for now, he had just been to the store yesterday with his dad.

Gotta love GOOD neighbors!

 

[JRmom]

I wish you were my neighbor.

My car just broke down Sunday, the second time this year, so I'm stuck at home all day with no transportation, and dependent on my husband for a ride somewhere (I will not drive his truck! I have to stand up to push the clutch in). Hopefully BIL will come through on the repairs (again) and not charge me through the nose. *sigh* But it's still better than having a new car with the payments and full coverage insurance. Glad you are getting some more wheels!

 

[Wifezilla]

Just wanted to let you know I HEAR YA SISTER!

Don't help the leaches and idiots, but help those wonderful people out there like some of your neighbors. You have your priorities in order!

 

[lorihadams]

That is crazy cute!

It's funny about the moving thing cause everywhere I go now if I see property for sale I think "oh, that would be perfect for so-and-so from SS" Seriously...I only think it in my head cause if I said it out loud my husband would think I'm a stalker or something....