Quail_Antwerp: Words from the Barnyard...

[gettinaclue]

I've been where you are QA and I can honestly say I don't envy the situation you're in.

We took some very, very good friends of ours in when they needed a place to live and to make a long story short, we no longer speak to their lazy, fib telling behinds.

I remember I started every day praying to the Good Lord for more patience and control of my temper.

I hope everything works out for you QA. I will pray for you and your DH too. I hope your situation turns out better than mine did.

(((HUGS)))

 

[Farmfresh]

Many years back we took in ONE well behaved and easy to deal with relative into his OWN space in my basement. That bothered me enough.

I don't know how you are doing it.

I think you need to remember to keep temper at bay

Since this is hubby's side of the family he needs to be more in charge of the "discipline" matters, that way you won't be the old shrew and hubby won't get hurt or caught in the crossfire. Talk over your feelings and needs and then "help" him to step up to the plate.

They will probably tow the line better as well if they know (very plainly and visibly) that you two are a united front. A tight family with good communication between them is a hard thing to "bump" into.

Also remember "Natural and Logical" consequences. This is something I learned from YEARS of working with behavior disorders. These must be carried out "naturally" with no notice paid by you at all. All is calmness and sweetness. Not even any sarcasm (which is hard to do!)

If you are asleep when breakfast is eaten - you missed breakfast.

Lights are out at ______ - that is when the fuse is removed.

You did not wash your laundry - you wear dirty clothes.

You did not cook when it was YOUR turn - you don't eat when it is MINE.

You are hungry? - we are working - so I guess you are hungry.

Usually "Natural and Logical" consequences are HARD for "those" people to face. You just keep on - with no visible flap - totally ignoring them and their consequences.

Keep finding those happy places. No reason for YOU not to enjoy those peeps or a beautiful day. (They will probably find THAT even MORE irritating!)

 

[Tallman]

Hey Quail,

Tell these people that you'll take them out of your will!

 

[TanksHill]

Quail you have my sympathies. I feel for you. I have been in many a situations where trying to help a family member backfires in my face. I do not know the whole story as to how you inherited this family or where they came from. But when I took in a couple of nephews a while back I was told by a school psychologist it takes like 3 months to correct a bad behavior for each year old the child was. For example 5 year old 15 months etc..

I guess my point is I don't think you will be able to change these adults. Do you have a tent? Stick them in the yard. Then they can earn their way into the house?

Feel free to vent any time. We are all here for you!

 

[lorihadams]

Oh honey, I'm sorry. I don't know what to tell you to do because I'm not there. If they are old enough to be on their own then give them a time limit that they can stay there and when they have to go, then they have to go.

I have had my BIL in my house 3 times and the last time I kicked him out over $3. I left money in my room, just a few dollars, just to see what would happen when we left town for a weekend and yep, I knew it. He told me that he didn't take it and I told him that it didn't matter. The point was that he let someone in my house that did. Buh bye! He got over it.

I think you and your hubby need to sit down and talk about your expectations and when you come to an agreement then sit everybody down and tell them what they are. Tell them that if they can't meet those expectations then they have to leave.

I feel for you hon' Hope it gets better soon!

 

[keljonma]

Hope things go better this week!

How was auction?

 

[SKR8PN]

Quail_Antwerp........since we are pretty close (at least the same state! ) I bought something this week that just might help you straighten your house guests out. If you'd like to borrow it, let me know.

Colt Anaconda, .44 magnum, 8 inch ported barrel with a Leupold 2x scope.

 

[Beekissed]

THAT'S beautiful!!!


And it oughta work just fine.....I'll leave my whip at home and SKR8PN can bring this lovely! We'll meet at Aly's and have a rumble!

 

[SKR8PN]

Hey Bee.........have I ever told you what my motto is??


Sticks and stones may break my bones.....

But whips and chains excite me!

 

[2dream]

Aly, what a frustrating situation. I know how you feel. Never than many people at once but off and on over the years I have dealt with this situation. Only once per family though. LOL My most horrible experience was my BIL, his wife and their 3 children. It was like I was chief cook, cleaner, hand holder and babysitter. Of course I am not as nice as you. After a week I was foot stomping and raising the roof.

Took about a week for them to move out.

Lots of hugs coming your way. Maybe you need Bees whip to beat them into a corner and the Colt Anaconda 44 for target practice. Make them dance.