Savingdogs-Saving the chickens

[savingdogs]

I think I had the vertigo because I'm tired and stressed. I felt much better after the nap.

The operative word here was highlighted.

Hubby is off today, and we have no rain predicted, I hope we can get some projects done outside. That means it won't rain or snow until we get all ready to roll!

 

[Farmfresh]

That little day is something that kid will remember forever.

You might have just made us another convert!

 

[savingdogs]

I wish I had a picture of her face when she managed to get the milk to squirt out. Then her mom tried and it squirted all over all of us and we all laughed.

This child is just a darling, darling girl. Blond curls and always smiling.

 

[TanksHill]

It sounds like your visit was a success. Good to hear all went well.

It is amazing to see the little ones and their reactions to the animals. When I took my Tom down the hill for the kindergartners to see most were speechless. Some didn't even know what he was.

I think the fact that he was as tall as them had a bit to do with it.

g

 

[glenolam]

Glad the day went so well!



So....when you gonna fire up that incubator!?!?!

 

[savingdogs]

I'm savin' eggs! I'm savin' eggs.

 

[abifae]

Deb, I get seizures with stress so I"m big on a nap when I feel it get started

 

[Denim Deb]

Deb, I get seizures with stress so I"m big on a nap when I feel it get started

And that's why I'm trying to simplify my life. Next Sunday is when the herd will be officially split. And, while I may still care for the other half at times, it won't be a daily thing. That will help. The next thing will be to quit my job. I'm so looking forward to that! I've had a few people ready to put my name in at other barns, but I've told them, thanks, but no thanks. When I quit, I'm done.

 

[savingdogs]

I think you will be a lot happier not work, Deb. It works out much better for me. I don't know if I feel better, but I feel better ABOUT it.

 

[savingdogs]

So a milestone has passed for me, I had my hearing and medical evaluation for SSI today. I believe I failed the hearing test rather well.

I walked in and realized I was in a familiar place, this was the office that referred me to my specialist 10 years ago, I used to be a patient there, this was the office that took such great notes 10 years ago about my occupational difficulties when they helped me when I was a transcriptionist. I had really liked the doctor there, he was good, but he knew I was "beyond his skills".

Today my appt first was with the audiologist, who I really struggled with. We had the hardest time communicating. But that was because they put you in a booth and turn you away from the tester so I could not read lips. I learned today how well I read lips. I was rather dumbfounded, I had no idea I do it so well. But I could "hear" him every time I looked at him and whenever I looked away I could no longer understand him. I'd never had it illustrated to me that way before (my own office tests me differently, this was an independent medical examination where they try to trick you). People could just say they can't hear. So they give you levels and pitches to confuse you. But I don't get confused, I just can't hear much! But I told the tester that I sometimes get vertigo testing the left side. And sure enough it happened, I had to ask him to stop and he went from looking irritated when I first warned him to feeling contrite that he insisted on testing the left. Then I told him don't make it too loud on the right on the high frequencies and then watched me jump out of my chair when he DID just that and I know his jaw dropped again. I have severe reactions! They call it hypertussis, but high loud sounds are painful to me (but it is why I can hear things like dog tags tinkle).

Then he gets out a hearing aide (my own doc knows I can't afford one) and thinks he can fix my problem with that. I am thinking they will try to come back and say I can work with a hearing aide so I say test away. I honestly did WORSE with the hearing aide, it just amplifies background sound and making WAA WAA WAA louder doesn't make it any less WAA WAA WAA. Maybe you have to be pretty deaf to understand. But I tested profundly impaired on both sides this time. Oh joy.

Then they have me talk to the doc. He just chats with me and I can tell he isn't trying to trick me, he believed the audiologist's assessment. He looks at my ear and sees my BAHA implant, which I no longer use because of the second ear failing, which is how a BAHA works, it uses bone conduction hearing to the opposite cochlea. He sees the titanium pin going into my skull I had implanted seven years ago, with no hearing aide on it (it makes me ill now). His jaw dropped. "You have a BAHA?" I pull it out of my purse. He had never seen one and is all marveling over it, and showing his staff. I had to explain how it used to work. They ask who implanted it and I say Dr. Kim, my doctor, and he says HAROLD Kim and I say yes, kinda smile. He is obviously famous to this dude. I kinda thought he was, the way I find his name all over the internet when you study my disease. I tell him that Dr. Kim sees me gratis because I'm an interesting case.
He responds, "Well, you are a slam dunk here. Meniere's disease does not get any worse than this." He told me that he highly recommended a coclear implant (also Dr. Kim's recommendation for me at this point). I told him we had discussed the shunt surgery (typical short term fix they suggest that has side effects that scare me, and I always get the back side effects that only a few people get) and was able to discuss with him why I chose not to do the gentamycin injection either (I'm allergic to seven antibiotics). I obviously knew way too much about this disease to not be a long term chronic case.

But by "slam dunk" he meant I qualify for SSI. I think the fact that I had a steel pin implanted in my skull for hearing loss was a teensey weensie bit convincing, especially that it is sitting useless there now, with a hearing aide in my purse, obviously a seven-year old scar (I had keloid tissue). I've obviously be wearing it on the other side if I found it useful. And because I did not even think to mention it, I appeared genuine. When they asked about surgery, what I remembered to say was about the ear injections, which they called "surgery" and I've had them seven or eight times (love them, they help so much). But I told him they no longer have any effect, which is also typical. I knew the story of a worst case scenario too well.

I felt like we were discussing my disease but at more of a doctor-to-doctor level, he does not normally talk to someone as knowledgeable about Meniere's or had such an "interesting" history with it. I finally told him I am aware I'm at the bad end of the curve and he said that I'm the "worst" Meniere's patient he has ever seen.

We visited family afterwards, when I described this story, my mom at this point said "Good!" and then got all flustered and apologized. She always feels bad because I get this from her but I'm worse.

I told her at this point I KNOW I'm Dr. Kims biggest failure, and the reason he sees me for free is he really wants to know for his own medical knowledge what happens to my case, it is more important to him than the money. He is also a nice man, but he needs to study me. He had already told me he used my case in a text book. I did not bring THAT up today, but I don't think after the discussion that the doctor and I had that there is any doubt that SSI will approve me. I now had TWO evaluations that ended with the doctor telling me that I qualified, and they will report to SSI as much. And both ended the sessions giving me doctorish suggestions like they think I need help! I told the doctor today that when and if I can afford it, I WOULD get a coclear implant.

When/if we finally get paid by SSI, I will have as much income as I made when I was working full time (I never made much at that job) but I won't have any gas expenses, lunch expenses and of course we eat cheaper when I'm home. I payed into that fund 30 years.....I started working full time at age 16 and never stopped.

And Kitty has a dishwasher for me! She asked me today if I wanted an extra one she has in her garage they are not using. I'm thinking I'll accept it, it would really help to have a working dishwasher again. It is embarassing to take charity from friends, but I have realized that God wanted me to learn humility. Kitty is a wonderful friend and is just wanting to help me, and I NEED help, so I'm going to be humble and accept her used dishwasher with a big thank you.

She gave me a big bag of hand-me-down toys and clothes for my granddaughter, it was the hit of my visit with them, the baby loved "unpacking" the bag and it was almost like I'd bought easter presents........Kitty was also the one who provided an entire wardrobe of hand-me-downs for my daughter when the baby was born and she had really nothing, so this particular friend has really been there for me in a pinch. And she was thanking ME for having her and her daughter over and seeing the farm.

Some people are just really nice. But the doctors today at the eval were nice, and it went well. Thanks for listening to my long story, those of you who made it to the end, here.

Anyhow, sorry for the long post about my illness, but it is really taking up my thoughts today and I needed to get that off my chest. And it could have such a big impact on us, all this financial stuff.