Sufficient Self's Bible Study Group

[rebecca100]

Exactly what I think. Stay with the bible and let God handle the details, but don't ever let your guard down and be decieved.
Shiloh, that is very similar to what happened with niece.
This site I think tells it pretty well.
http://www.answers2prayer.org/bible_questions/Answers/testing/test.html

 

[rebecca100]

Shiloh, maybe if you brought it up with her and have a long talk? Catch her when she can't escape and explain that you will not/cannot work for her if she can't get things straight.

 

[Woodland Woman]

Wow Shiloh, that is a difficult situation. I once had an instance where someone who was leading worship in church didn't have their affairs in order and some of it had to do with me knowing about it. It did make worship difficult. Thankfully this person realized they needed to step down for a while when called out on it. I actually think they were relieved.

Are you still working for this person? If you are perhaps you should resign and explain to her you need to pay your bills. Sometimes I think Christians expect other Christians to just volunteer their time. My dh is an electrician and sometimes people would invite him over for a meal and just happen to need something fixed. lol Most of the time he didn't mind especially if they were older or on a fixed income but there have been times when he was out of work for a long time and it felt more like being taken advantage of.

Is there any way you can speak with your pastor? Maybe he could speak with your boss for you or he might have an idea how to fix the situation. I will pray for you.

 

[Wannabefree]

Shiloh it seems to me you only have one option. The head of the congregation. Talk to your pastor. Ask his advice. It is affecting you spiritually and he is the one you need to talk with to sort things out whether you should stay or go from the job. We can't really give you advice other than that according to my beliefs. The pastor is the head of the church which is where the whole situation originated from to begin with. He needs to be made aware of how you feel so he can help you sort through and that there are issues within the church. If he advise you to quit, forgive the woman her indebtness as He forgave us...and move forward. It's not worth hanging onto, though it is SO hard to let it go! Tough situation sis! I'll be praying for a quick resolution

 

[savingdogs]

Shiloh, it sounds to me like you have already tried to talk this over with her and I'm sure you are getting the run-around from the family because they are aware and do not want to pay you. Those are a lot of different instances of you asking to be paid.

A paycheck should be expected, not something you "ask" and "hope" for......they are taking advantage of you in an unfair way, which certainly isn't very Christian.

If this is the leader or head of your church, I would find a new one. Withholding a paycheck from someone, especially while enjoying extras and what-not with the family, is not only extremely unfair, but not very Christian of them, at all. I wonder if the congregation has any inkling that you are being handled this way.

It just isn't nice, taking advantage of your good nature.....

 

[Shiloh Acres]

To be fair, I don't think anyone except her daughter and one of her sisters (who was there when I asked the daughter, and I couldn't make it more private) know what is going on. I don't think even her husband knows.

The pastor is her father, which has kind of made me hesitate. It it DOES blow up, I might end up having to leave the church.

And I thought it very nice of her daughter saying she would pay half my back wages, but to be fair it's not really her daughter's responsibility. I just wish she hadn't promised then avoided me since then, cuz I had thought I'd be able to take care of some things.

I appreciate y'alls input very much. My first inclination was to bring it before the pastor, if I can't work it out. It's just uncomfortable for me with them all being family.

Funny thing is that I KNOW God put me in this church. I've just never been able to really see why the way I usually can. (Except to say they've become as close as family to me.)

I feel a little like Jacob, in having my wages changed. But God blessed Jacob in the end. And he maybe deserved a little of what he got in the first place, for deceiving Esau.

Thanks y'all. I am going to try to talk to her again tomorrow. Thing is, I THINK she's going to say she's only supposed to pay me x-amount, which would be the second time she lowered what we agreed on.

 

[savingdogs]

You don't lower wages you have agreed upon after the fact, unless you are having a pay reduction.

I think you need to discuss this with her father. It is not appropriate or Christian to behave as she has been. You make and keep your agreements, it should be a "given" that she would act in good faith.
Anything less and she should not be put in a position of any leadership within the church. Her dad should know.
If what you say causes an issue, the problem is theirs, not yours. You are just the messenger of the truth.

 

[Denim Deb]

What I feel is the correct way to handle this is simple

Moreover, if they brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone; if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church, but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. Matthew 18:15-17.

If the church will not help you out in this, then you may need to find a different church. If you are still working for her, quit. You cannot work w/out pay, nor should she expect you to.

 

[Beekissed]

I agree. If this were out in the secular community and this were a regular boss, you would take it over her head and arrange a meeting with her boss and with her and explain all the details and express your concerns.

The scripture is pretty clear. And if the church supports her in this instead of you, then let the church be known as heathen and publican and find a new church home.

This is more than about wages...this is about trust and honor, both of which she is supposed to be striving for as a Christian.

I had a similar problem at my job last year where promises were made and not fulfilled by my boss and her boss. I had a meeting with them and expressed my concerns. I explained that I gave 110% and more at the job every day and had waited patiently for them to honor their word about a full time position. They danced around it and made more promises, didn't fulfill those either.

Finally, I sat down with my boss one more time~further down the road~ and told her that I could see they were not honorable people and they were not true to their word....but that I was okay with that because I still had my honor and self-respect and that was all that mattered. I told her that I really and truly didn't care about having a full time position any longer because I had prayed about it and knew that God would take care of me financially regardless of my work situation.

She started making empty promises again and I stopped her and told her that I wasn't being snide or manipulative....that I truly didn't care about the issue any longer and I was okay with working part-time. It no longer mattered to me! And it didn't.

I had a full time position within a couple of days. I don't know if it was because I had finally let go of my resentment over the situation and let God handle it or if my words finally made some impact but they finally, after two and a half years, gave me a full time position.

Doesn't hurt to talk about it. Doesn't hurt to pray about it. If the talking doesn't do the trick, the praying usually will. Talk. Pray. Then let it go.

 

[Shiloh Acres]

Thanks so much all. You've been very helpful.

I've been praying about it of course. And today she gave 3 weeks' worth of back pay without me saying anything, and promised more tomorrow.

As I suspected, it does look like she's changing both the amount and the terms. I will try to get her to talk to me about it and see what she says.

I suppose if she does change it, I'm going to have to say something. I've prayed about it, and I may actually finish out the school year even if she lowers my wages. I may. For the sake of the kids, and because it is SOME money at least. I have a great peace that God will take care of me anyway. He's done so in some really amazing ways in the past.

The uncomfortable part is that something may need to be said to the pastor. I can forgive her, I can work for her, and I can pray for her, but I don't think I can have her lead worship for me if things aren't resolved in SOME way. She's honestly given me the impression over the past year that I can't believe anything she says. Her intentions may be good (and probably are) but I think a person needs to be accountable.

Not sure how this will turn out yet, but y'all have really helped. Now I just need to get the courage to say what needs to be said and in a loving way.

Now I wish I could get online before almost 2am. I LOVE 1 John and I've been missing the Bible study part of this topic. So I will thank you all most sincerely, and return you to your regularly scheduled topic.