Sufficient Self's Bible Study Group

[Shiloh Acres]

Thanks, Bee and Wannabefree.

Good point, Bee. I see what you mean. It can be hard to be in the midst of things and remain "separate".

And I hadn't thought about pride, but I think that's a good point too. I am not sure about anyone else, but God has dealt with me early and often about spiritual pride ... all I can say is I hope I learned my lesson long ago.

And I always want to remember my lessons. Some of them are painful to relearn!!!

But it's especially a good point, thinking about a situation I am dealing with. I have a friend I have loved like a sister all my life, though we took very different paths. She has *finally* (Praise God!) gotten over a lifetime of being angry with God and started seeking Him. But we are very, very different in our lifestyles. I try to spend time with her, and do so as humbly as possible, so as NOT to seem in any way like I am coming off as "holier" than her, or above her in any way. I don't feel that I am, by the way, but I don't want her noticing the differences and thinking that I feel like I'm better than her. So ... while I'm not dealing with pride there, I also want to be sure she doesn't think I am either.

Incidentally, it comes right back at Bee's point. My friend is still living the life I did when I was a teenager, and I do watch to be sure that the influence doesn't cause me to slip in any way. When that used to be you, even long, long ago, I was surprised to find that you still have to watch the way you speak, etc.

And in her case, it's not even a matter of restoring one who was of the faith who has slipped, but rather trying to lift up one who hasn't yet really made it out. I do love her dearly, though.

And BB, I can see Wannabefree thinks a lot. I just tend to think of a lot of questions. I love reading what she writes too.

 

[FarmerJamie]

if there is a reason to think we may somehow be open to being tempted of their particular sin in attempting to restore them?

I think there is a danger when consorting with people who are actively sinning because it is easier to drag someone down than it is to pick someone up. For example....if everyone in your office cusses like a sailor, it is so easy to slide into it. Or, if they are constantly complain about the job or the boss, it is so easy to just go along to get along. Same with gossip.

When you get closer to sin, it has a way of pulling you in.

Excellent point, so how do we go about armoring ourselves against this?

I know this seems like a silly question, but what behaviors should we be using?

Silence, in my mind, is acceptance. Being 'politically correct' and attending meetings/get-togethers that make one uncomfortable condones it, too.

 

[Wannabefree]

Jaime I agree silence is all the same as acceptance. However, you can only say something so many times without just wasting your breath. I'm not into the PC bit either, or acceptance of those kinds of behaviors that "friend" is displaying. i guess my post sounded kind of like that was what I was saying, but I am not. You have to approach the situation through your wife first, as it is her friend. Then if she doesn't make a move, you may have to step up. Friends of a spouse is a delicate situation. My DH sees things in some of my past "friends" that I do not, but he supports me through making my own mistakes

I had a "friend" who called me for help with everything, and DH told me time and again that she was taking advantage, and I denied it wanting to see the good in her. I was her shoulder to cry on, and when the subject went to me, she was always busy. I didn't see that then. Eventually, she called and when I could not be available the second she needed me she to take her somewhere. She mouthed off about "Fine I'll walk" and hung up the phone. She then called back a few hours later letting me know "not to worry about her, she made it to where she needed to go" I told her I wasn't planning on worrying about it, that I knew she'd find a way. She hasn't talked to me much since. I see now DH was right about her selfishness and manipulative usage of me. I do not regret our two year "friendship" for what it was...a learning experience. I don't even regret not listening to him. He didn't push. Just gentle nudges toward the truth. She sounds a lot like the lady you were talking about who is the "friend" of your wife. Just give it time. Discuss it with the wife. You don't have to ignore the issues, but you have to use discretion in how you deal with her friends. Otherwise it will create resentment when she finds out you are right. That's the "gentleness" Chapter 6 speaks of I believe. Longsuffering is in there too. I thank God my DH is gentle and longsuffering with me

 

[FarmerJamie]

Jaime I agree silence is all the same as acceptance. However, you can only say something so many times without just wasting your breath. I'm not into the PC bit either, or acceptance of those kinds of behaviors that "friend" is displaying. i guess my post sounded kind of like that was what I was saying, but I am not. You have to approach the situation through your wife first, as it is her friend. Then if she doesn't make a move, you may have to step up. Friends of a spouse is a delicate situation. My DH sees things in some of my past "friends" that I do not, but he supports me through making my own mistakes

I had a "friend" who called me for help with everything, and DH told me time and again that she was taking advantage, and I denied it wanting to see the good in her. I was her shoulder to cry on, and when the subject went to me, she was always busy. I didn't see that then. Eventually, she called and when I could not be available the second she needed me she to take her somewhere. She mouthed off about "Fine I'll walk" and hung up the phone. She then called back a few hours later letting me know "not to worry about her, she made it to where she needed to go" I told her I wasn't planning on worrying about it, that I knew she'd find a way. She hasn't talked to me much since. I see now DH was right about her selfishness and manipulative usage of me. I do not regret our two year "friendship" for what it was...a learning experience. I don't even regret not listening to him. He didn't push. Just gentle nudges toward the truth. She sounds a lot like the lady you were talking about who is the "friend" of your wife. Just give it time. Discuss it with the wife. You don't have to ignore the issues, but you have to use discretion in how you deal with her friends. Otherwise it will create resentment when she finds out you are right. That's the "gentleness" Chapter 6 speaks of I believe. Longsuffering is in there too. I thank God my DH is gentle and longsuffering with me

Thank you for the reply and the outlet for me to vent. I pray for an outcome like yours - we're not there yet, I'm dealing with a lot of resentment because other people are telling the wife I am right and she is being used by this woman.

I did put my foot down last week and declared I am sick and tired of hearing the "F-bomb" from this woman in my house and I would not tolerate it. It was a tense household for a few days - now she doesn't come around while I am home. I'm on vacation right now, so I guess I am successfully protecting my turf... hehe.

 

[Wannabefree]

Jaime I agree silence is all the same as acceptance. However, you can only say something so many times without just wasting your breath. I'm not into the PC bit either, or acceptance of those kinds of behaviors that "friend" is displaying. i guess my post sounded kind of like that was what I was saying, but I am not. You have to approach the situation through your wife first, as it is her friend. Then if she doesn't make a move, you may have to step up. Friends of a spouse is a delicate situation. My DH sees things in some of my past "friends" that I do not, but he supports me through making my own mistakes

I had a "friend" who called me for help with everything, and DH told me time and again that she was taking advantage, and I denied it wanting to see the good in her. I was her shoulder to cry on, and when the subject went to me, she was always busy. I didn't see that then. Eventually, she called and when I could not be available the second she needed me she to take her somewhere. She mouthed off about "Fine I'll walk" and hung up the phone. She then called back a few hours later letting me know "not to worry about her, she made it to where she needed to go" I told her I wasn't planning on worrying about it, that I knew she'd find a way. She hasn't talked to me much since. I see now DH was right about her selfishness and manipulative usage of me. I do not regret our two year "friendship" for what it was...a learning experience. I don't even regret not listening to him. He didn't push. Just gentle nudges toward the truth. She sounds a lot like the lady you were talking about who is the "friend" of your wife. Just give it time. Discuss it with the wife. You don't have to ignore the issues, but you have to use discretion in how you deal with her friends. Otherwise it will create resentment when she finds out you are right. That's the "gentleness" Chapter 6 speaks of I believe. Longsuffering is in there too. I thank God my DH is gentle and longsuffering with me

Thank you for the reply and the outlet for me to vent. I pray for an outcome like yours - we're not there yet, I'm dealing with a lot of resentment because other people are telling the wife I am right and she is being used by this woman.

I did put my foot down last week and declared I am sick and tired of hearing the "F-bomb" from this woman in my house and I would not tolerate it. It was a tense household for a few days - now she doesn't come around while I am home. I'm on vacation right now, so I guess I am successfully protecting my turf... hehe.

You should put your foot down IN YOUR OWN HOME...my DH would have booted her out the door for THAT! The thing with her though, she is a pastors wife, and doesn't use foul language, so she got to stick around to wear her welcome out for longer than normal

 

[Denim Deb]

This is a very good study, but can I make a suggestion? Some of us want to participate more, but can't! We work outside of the home. For me, to do an in depth study of a chapter a day is just too much, especially since I'm adding this to my regular devotions and Bible reading.

 

[BarredBuff]

Whats your suggestion DD?

Well guys it looks like some intense discussion has went on!!

Today we are going to start Ecclesiastes. Chapter 1 for today.

 

[Wannabefree]

This is a very good study, but can I make a suggestion? Some of us want to participate more, but can't! We work outside of the home. For me, to do an in depth study of a chapter a day is just too much, especially since I'm adding this to my regular devotions and Bible reading.

I agree. I don't currently work outside the home, but am about to be within the next week as well. What would be best for you?

Anyone else have any input on this? We do need to organize this for everyone to be able to participate more. James, you'll be back in school soon and have a bit less time to devote as well. Maybe we can find a way to slow it down a bit that is good for everyone?

I do think we who have been able are missing out greatly on some discussion and input from others who do not have as much time due to family/work obligations.

May I start off the suggestions with instead of a chapter a day, we could do a chapter every 2-3 days? That would give everyone enough time to read it, chew on it a bit, and then respond I think. Everyone gets something different from each verse, and that would probably get the most from the scripture if we allow more time per chapter...I think

We definately WANT more participation!! I learn a lot from everyone else's interpretations as well as the things I see myself. I actually enjoy reading everyone's ideas MUCH more than my own even. Others perspectives are such a breath of fresh air!

This way too, if anyone has issues they are going through at the time that relates, we can discuss it and support each other through it. Kind of like building an online church family.

 

[Farmfresh]

I agree we need to slow it down a bit. Some of us are swamped busy, some of us are slow readers and some of us are new in the Word. It takes a while to digest.

I am at home this week, but we have SO many other commitments that I am struggling to keep up. PLUS I like to read a whole book through front to back, which takes at least a couple of good reading sessions (depending on the length of the book) and then go BACK and read the assigned chapter. This gives me a good overview of the whole subject, before I try to really study it.

How about we get a book chosen to read, chat about major points and overviews the first week and THEN go back to the chapters. This would give folks at least a chance to read through the book once before we get into lots of discussion.

 

[FarmerJamie]

I agree with the 2-3 day thing. Maybe Tues, Thurs, and Sunday? Fortunately, I'll be heading back to work next Monday, and a chapter per day will be hard for me too.

I do sincerely appreciate the support I've been shown, I like the idea of an online church!!!!