Would I be a bad mom.. UPDATE

[abifae]

Not drugs or alcohol. More the "floosieness" and attitude. She has always lied. Ever since she was able to talk. I take it in stride and let her deal with the consequences. And there are always consequences. It is just this "friends with benefits" that get me. I did make her go on the pill. I am so not ready for that. She also knows the consequences for that too. It is just so not what I would do or did. It is killing me.

Did all us kids more good to be booted out and told we were jerks than otherwise. LOL.

So that's my opinion

 

[Dunkopf]

Hey farmerlor!

But again, just because "I" did it doesn't mean that every kid is ready to be kicked to the curb at 18 and we all know that boys are notorious for maturing later than girls-heck my husband STILL isn't mature at 52! My two oldest daughters were very mature and more than ready to take care of themselves at 18. Adam is 19 and still needs us for advice, moral support if not financial, and the occasional recipe for french toast or grilled cheese sandwiches.
Just because a child (and I do mean child) goes out and has sex or tries a few drugs or drinks doesn't make the child BAD and they shouldn't be made to feel that way. They made a BAD decision and it won't be the last (I still make the occasional mistake) and that will need to be dealt with but golly, the least of anyone's worries should be what the darn neighbors think. The main concern should be seeing that the child is safe and learning from the mistakes they've made.

Yeah, I'm going to have to second that.

I'll have to 3rd that. Farmerlor, sounds like you have a great husband. 52 is too young to be acting mature.

 

[farmerlor]

Hey farmerlor!

But again, just because "I" did it doesn't mean that every kid is ready to be kicked to the curb at 18 and we all know that boys are notorious for maturing later than girls-heck my husband STILL isn't mature at 52! My two oldest daughters were very mature and more than ready to take care of themselves at 18. Adam is 19 and still needs us for advice, moral support if not financial, and the occasional recipe for french toast or grilled cheese sandwiches.
Just because a child (and I do mean child) goes out and has sex or tries a few drugs or drinks doesn't make the child BAD and they shouldn't be made to feel that way. They made a BAD decision and it won't be the last (I still make the occasional mistake) and that will need to be dealt with but golly, the least of anyone's worries should be what the darn neighbors think. The main concern should be seeing that the child is safe and learning from the mistakes they've made.

Yeah, I'm going to have to second that.

I'll have to 3rd that. Farmerlor, sounds like you have a great husband. 52 is too young to be acting mature.

See? He's sitting right here beside me and just HAD to post on the topic instead of saying something to me directly. LOL!

 

[farmerlor]

Hey farmerlor!

But again, just because "I" did it doesn't mean that every kid is ready to be kicked to the curb at 18 and we all know that boys are notorious for maturing later than girls-heck my husband STILL isn't mature at 52! My two oldest daughters were very mature and more than ready to take care of themselves at 18. Adam is 19 and still needs us for advice, moral support if not financial, and the occasional recipe for french toast or grilled cheese sandwiches.
Just because a child (and I do mean child) goes out and has sex or tries a few drugs or drinks doesn't make the child BAD and they shouldn't be made to feel that way. They made a BAD decision and it won't be the last (I still make the occasional mistake) and that will need to be dealt with but golly, the least of anyone's worries should be what the darn neighbors think. The main concern should be seeing that the child is safe and learning from the mistakes they've made.

Yeah, I'm going to have to second that.

Howdy BBH!!! How's it going?

 

[Dunkopf]

Hey farmerlor!


Yeah, I'm going to have to second that.

I'll have to 3rd that. Farmerlor, sounds like you have a great husband. 52 is too young to be acting mature.

See? He's sitting right here beside me and just HAD to post on the topic instead of saying something to me directly. LOL!

That's because you weren't paying attention to me. Wah.

 

[big brown horse]

Big Daddy!!!!!!!!!


Going great farmerlor.

 

[Beekissed]

I have threatened to kick my boys out...it happens. There is a certain age past which the normal threats of consequences for bad behavior no longer are effective. The threat of loss of a warm place to sleep, good food, the closeness of family...they are the final string that ties a child/adult to the home.

My boys know they always have a place to live and food to eat....but it will be on my terms, my rules. Not all kids mature at 18....for all of you folks with young children who have not gotten to that particular age group, I'm here to tell you that it is now the exception and not the rule to have young adults struggling to be independent and not quite making it in today's world.

I have three boys who are now rooming with each other and facing the cold hard fact that they cannot afford to go it alone and so they need each other if they want the 'young man on his own' lifestyle.

Do they make mistakes? Many. Do they always make good moral choices? Nope. Do they need a helping hand now and again? Yes....but keep it to a minimum or they will come to depend upon it.

No, you are not a bad mom for threatening to kick out the child. Everyone reaches their limits now and again. I have told my children that I love them but don't particularly like their current choices and am disappointed in what kind of person they have become.

It happens and no parent or child is perfect. I found that turning my children's lives over to God has helped my nerves and stress levels tremendously. I no longer worry, just offer them up in prayer and have faith that God will guide them. After all, we really have no control on what kind of people they become~we can just instruct, set an example, teach them the right way to go....and then LET GO.

 

[Damummis]

Thanks Bee,
I needed that.

 

[Damummis]

Not drugs or alcohol. More the "floosieness" and attitude. She has always lied. Ever since she was able to talk. I take it in stride and let her deal with the consequences. And there are always consequences. It is just this "friends with benefits" that get me. I did make her go on the pill. I am so not ready for that. She also knows the consequences for that too. It is just so not what I would do or did. It is killing me.

Did all us kids more good to be booted out and told we were jerks than otherwise. LOL.

So that's my opinion

I DO like your opinions.

 

[abifae]

I DO like your opinions.

Good thing. I have lots of them LOL. I'm just very clear that they are opinions, not facts. *grins*