Abifae - Ciao Babies!

[abifae]

We had to teach him it's NOT ok to go up and hug everybody all the time and hang on for dear life. I understand it's part of how he deals, but it's still not appropriate, and some people just don't like it.

Yeh. *sighs* I don't to people I don't know, at least.

He talks a lot too, and sometimes we have to go back and worth re-wording one sentence/thought for 5-10 minutes to make sure everybody's on the same page.

That's great!! How is it weird and frustrating? Asks the autie who does the same thing LOL.

Abi, do the meltdowns ever go away? Or just morph into something else that - while still technically a meltdown - doesn't quite so much resemble a temper tantrum?

You learn to cope better and so you can get yourself somewhere private and just pace and mutter and punch pillows instead of a full meltdown. Just like mundanes have to learn. Moving from the toddler "it all spills out" to the more adult "hold it all in and have a heart attack" LOL. I don't recommend the latter.

We are developmental delay, not stop If we are still throwing ourselves on the ground and having a full meltdown, we're still 3 or 4 in there somewheres. Eventually we'll get old enough to have more control.

To me, it's controlling the input and output. I know what things push me into meltdown fast and I can choose to avoid them or to bring coping toys with me. (Things to pet or play with, alternate noise, etc.) So that's input. Output is learning meditations and calming exercises.

You have to slow the adrenaline.

And meds - just read in the tumeric milk thread that you say you prefer natural stuff. Is there ANYTHING that works with the Autism Spectrum stuff. I'd love to get my son off of some/all of these drugs, but that one really does help with the meltdowns, and the ADD med helps him focus, and .... and .... I just hate to keep him medicated if there's other alternatives.

Well, I don't believe in medicating, period. I know autistics annoy the crud out of everyone around them, but all meds have side effects that make life more difficult later. But that's me.

I would have LOVED to have had anti anxiety meds, even knowing they'd kill me, up until a couple years ago. When I finally hit puberty, I also suddenly figured out ways to deal with more of the stresses of OutSector.

I would say therapy (to learn coping mechanisms and behavioral cognitive stuffs), meditation (to learn to calm the body. You HAVE to get that adrenaline down)... Heck, auties have weird reactions to most meds anyway.

If there is one that helps with meltdowns, replace it... SLOWLY... with better coping mechanisms. Ditto the ADD. Make him think. Why are you spazzing? Is something too much and you are trying to outrun it? Are you overstimmed or understimmed? The more he becomes aware of WHY the easier he can control himself without drugs.

I'm definitely not saying this is why you medicate him, but I have seen a lot of parents on forums who drug the kid so THEY aren't annoyed by their kid, not to improve the kids' lives. I feel this way about the "ADD" craze anyway. The kids need higher fat diets and exercise. Pffff.

Speaking of, what is his diet like? Auties are hyper sensitive to pretty much everything. We really seriously have NO FILTERS. Physical or mental or emotional LOL. So we are more likely to have gluten issues, sugar issues, preservative issues....

If something would knock you a tiny bit of balance and you could recover and be okay, knocks us completely off and can take days to recover. We just aren't very stable in this world. It is why I learned to ground into my Dark, not into this world.

 

[Blackbird]

I used to work at a place that had a part-time work program for those who could not handle a regular full time job, so there were several auties and the ones that do always give the best hugs!!

 

[Wifezilla]

Speaking of, what is his diet like? Auties are hyper sensitive to pretty much everything. We really seriously have NO FILTERS. Physical or mental or emotional LOL. So we are more likely to have gluten issues, sugar issues, preservative issues....

Yes... important to keep these things in mind. Abi and Max both do better on a diet high in natural fats (butter, coconut oil, lard, fresh dairy, etc...) and low in carbs in general, but particularly low in refined flours and sugar.

 

[Damummis]

Don't want to miss any of this. This is very interesting.

Way.

Gives me insight on dealing with an autistic boy in the girls school. Doesn't matter where he is, he WILL find me.

 

[abifae]

LOL. Interesting? ME? I find me kinda dull >.>

 

[abifae]

Holy hell is four full dishes a lot of cooking >.>

*dies*

BUT! I have food to get me through seizures next week. It's all cooling in the fridge in containers and I will bag three quarters of it to freeze tomorrow. *beams*

And Imooto will be here very soon to taste test the cake with me and then we can pass out!

 

[Damummis]

Are you as an autie attracted to people more by "feel"? I guess I am trying to ask how is your "sense" of people? Are there people you are more attracted to than others? I know people in general have a like or dislike about others, I just want to get your view point on it.

 

[abifae]

Are you as an autie attracted to people more by "feel"? I guess I am trying to ask how is your "sense" of people? Are there people you are more attracted to than others? I know people in general have a like or dislike about others, I just want to get your view point on it.

I'm not sure what you mean.

Most of my friends smell right. And they are capable of critical thinking. And they don't mind me LOL. That's a big one.

I have a general dislike of all humans, honestly, as "people". As animals, I can feel affection towards them the same way I do any living things, from plants to parasites to mammals, etc. But as a "human" I feel mostly disdain for folk.

As far as my "sense" of people, I think you are asking if I see someone, how do I figure them out? By smell and by gross animal body language. I cannot catch the subtle things, but I'm a pro at kinetics and animal behaviors. I smell fear on people, and then see that they are standing rigid and looking about for signs of danger, rapid breathing... and then, perhaps, if I try real hard, see the dilated pupils and whatever face things.

If that didn't answer your question, try asking again

 

[Damummis]

It kinda answered my question.

Reason for asking...........

Ever since I can remember, I have attracted autistic people. Little kids the most. They just seem to find me. I have heard from parents, "Wow, he/she doesn't do this usually". I have had autistic kids who don't talk to anyone come up and talk, or answer a question when they usually don't with others. I have found a lot of work this way. Babysitting.

So what is it that they find attractive? My face, aura, willingness to take the time to care.

"G" I have known for a long time. He is now in high school with my girls. I walk in to that school, grocery store, library or anywhere. "G" has radar. He will find me in the matter of minutes.

"K" I met when I started to work at his daycare. He never spoke his own thoughts, just repeated what you said. One day soon after I started I sat next to him at lunch. Asked him if he liked his lunch, he repeated shaking his head. I noticed. "Do you want something else?" He repeated, then all of a sudden he looked at me and said "Cheese". The room went silent. So I got "K" cheese. I was the only one he would talk to.

I went to the chiropractor one day. Out of nowhere "M" came flying down the hall with a trumpet. Saw me waiting for his dad and handed me the trumpet. Dad came in flustered apologizing. I looked at "M" smiled and told him I couldn't play the trumpet but I would like it if he did. And he did, then he sat next to me stroking my arm. Dad, just watched and then asked, "Do you babysit?". "M" hung out thru the whole visit and when I went to leave he had the most amazing melt down.
I did babysit "M" and his siblings till they moved. He had the most amazing tools in his den. A huge swing from the ceiling he would lay on and spin. Every musical instrument he had he could play. He was amazing at 6.

These are just a few of my autie friends.

 

[Wifezilla]

That is so funny. Not sure what it is. Abi and I have had discussions about me being a "nut magnet". If I click with you, there is a good chance you have some sort of brain cooties!