ksalvagno
Almost Self-Reliant
That is wonderful that you will foster. It takes a lot to do that. I bet it is very hard to let them go. I have fostered animals but never children.
foster parenting
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freemotion
Food Guru
I'd have expected the system to be using you a LOT more. Is this typical in your state? Are there more foster parents than children needing care?
Firefyter-Emt
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Well, my wife and I were licensed sometime around Nov of last year if my memory is right. In that time we had a 2 day old infant boy for a week. He had to go to the ER for de-tox and was placed in a adoptive home when he got out. (1st placement, trial by fire!) Then a darling 8 month boy with big curly hair that we had for about 3 months. Next was a darling 6 month baby girl! She stayed for about 2 months. Next was our oldest placement to date, a 2 yer old! She took a LONG time to come out of her shell and was just getting "normal" when she was moved to a home with her siblings. This brings us to our 7 month little boy that we have had for almost a month now... Super cute guy with a ton of smiles!
Sorry, this is as close as you get! No photos on-line... DCF rule!
We love it, and it is hard to see them go... what get's me is not as much the leaving, but the void when they are gone. If they exchanged them, it would not be nearly as hard. My wife and I have our own family with 4 children at home still (15, 12, 11, & 7) so it's not like the whole experience is gone as anyone with a large family will tell you. What is hard is having a placement leave and then waiting sometimes almost two months for a new placement. We take it a day at a time because there is just no way of knowing if this will be the day they leave, no matter what they tell you. Things change at the drop of a hat because of everything that is going on and how many people are involved.
Now we pretty much only foster young children, birth to 6 at the oldest, so it's a whole different world with older kids. We have some good friends that fostered teens, and they always had great kids... me? Heck, I am chicken! I will stick with the babies! Plus, they are so cute and cuddly!
Sorry, this is as close as you get! No photos on-line... DCF rule!
We love it, and it is hard to see them go... what get's me is not as much the leaving, but the void when they are gone. If they exchanged them, it would not be nearly as hard. My wife and I have our own family with 4 children at home still (15, 12, 11, & 7) so it's not like the whole experience is gone as anyone with a large family will tell you. What is hard is having a placement leave and then waiting sometimes almost two months for a new placement. We take it a day at a time because there is just no way of knowing if this will be the day they leave, no matter what they tell you. Things change at the drop of a hat because of everything that is going on and how many people are involved.
Now we pretty much only foster young children, birth to 6 at the oldest, so it's a whole different world with older kids. We have some good friends that fostered teens, and they always had great kids... me? Heck, I am chicken! I will stick with the babies! Plus, they are so cute and cuddly!
Firefyter-Emt
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NO!!!!! There is a huge need for Foster Parents and more so for teens and special needs. (BTW, special needs is not all the "serious cases" but things as minor as asthma can fall under that.) Babies tend to be placed easy because... well, shoot! They are so cute!freemotion said:
However the older kids are not placed as easy and tend to come as a "group" with siblings. It's hard on them to break them up and they can have some pretty serious baggage too. BUT, you can make a life change in the short time you have them. That is the one thing that makes me sad about the babies that we care for... they will never remember anything we did for them.
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me&thegals
A Major Squash & Pumpkin Lover
That's what has surprised me--the void they left behind! They were only here from last Thurs until this morning. I suspected they might be leaving today, so I tried to remind my kids to give them an extra heartfelt goodnight last night (without raising the hopes of the 5-yo).
Well, my greatest fear is now relieved. I feared that although I felt moved to do this (and husband) that the reality would not be what I expected, that I wouldn't have as much compassion and love as I had hoped. I am so glad to find this wasn't true. I wish I had been the one to get up with the baby last night, but it was DH who spent an hour getting him back to sleep. If I had known they would be gone today...
Firefyter-Emt--It sounds like that has been the case for your family, too! Wow--that is quite a number of placements since you first got licensed! I can't see whatever you linked to, unfortunately... I'm so glad your experiences have been wonderful ones I, too, have a feeling that older placements could be a different, far more difficult story...
Well, my greatest fear is now relieved. I feared that although I felt moved to do this (and husband) that the reality would not be what I expected, that I wouldn't have as much compassion and love as I had hoped. I am so glad to find this wasn't true. I wish I had been the one to get up with the baby last night, but it was DH who spent an hour getting him back to sleep. If I had known they would be gone today...
Firefyter-Emt--It sounds like that has been the case for your family, too! Wow--that is quite a number of placements since you first got licensed! I can't see whatever you linked to, unfortunately... I'm so glad your experiences have been wonderful ones
I, too, have a feeling that older placements could be a different, far more difficult story...- Thread starter
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me&thegals
A Major Squash & Pumpkin Lover
Not sure if this is addressed to me? We were not asked from Feb to Aug, which surprised us. Then, since our first 2-hour placement, we were asked 3 additional times in which we turned them down. We specifically asked for school-aged children because of my job situation, but it started to look like there weren't going to be any placements at all if we stuck to that, so we agreed to this last one.freemotion said:
Firefyter-Emt
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Woops, I just fixed it.... I love the way the photo came out. That was taken by my wife at a DCF Apple Fest that they put on for the kids and foster families at a farm here in Connecticut.
That is my holding baby Michael btw...
Even though we live in a rural area of Connecticut, we do draw from the city area as far as Norwich. Because of this, we do get more placements. I also suspect, that the foster family is "profiled" to match the children, which is not a bad thing, and even a good thing, but it could explain the gap's in placements. We are "open" for any race or gender with DCF, but if a better culture match can be found, it's less traumatic on the child.
But as to the void.... I know it quite well. I would love to say in a week or so it's gone, but it seems to hang around while we are waiting for the next one. :/ But, the void does seem to fill up with the next placement and we look fondly back at them. It's odd, with all the training and involvement that goes on with a placement, you kinda feel odd... like an outsider looking in when you are just a "normal family" again.
That is my holding baby Michael btw...
Even though we live in a rural area of Connecticut, we do draw from the city area as far as Norwich. Because of this, we do get more placements. I also suspect, that the foster family is "profiled" to match the children, which is not a bad thing, and even a good thing, but it could explain the gap's in placements. We are "open" for any race or gender with DCF, but if a better culture match can be found, it's less traumatic on the child.
But as to the void.... I know it quite well. I would love to say in a week or so it's gone, but it seems to hang around while we are waiting for the next one. :/ But, the void does seem to fill up with the next placement and we look fondly back at them. It's odd, with all the training and involvement that goes on with a placement, you kinda feel odd... like an outsider looking in when you are just a "normal family" again.
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me&thegals
A Major Squash & Pumpkin Lover
Very sweetFirefyter-Emt said:Woops, I just fixed it.... I love the way the photo came out. That was taken by my wife at a DCF Apple Fest that they put on for the kids and foster families at a farm here in Connecticut.
That is my holding baby Michael.
My husband has a goatee, too, and our little guy was always playing with it while being fed a bottle
freemotion
Food Guru
It was addressed to you, but I'm glad that Firefyter-Emt answered it, too. I've always wanted to foster/adopt, but our lives don't allow it right now. One day. Sigh. I'd actually like to work with older children or sibling groups. Teens tend to confide in me, I think I've heard it all by now....but no, there is always something worse that happens to kids. But I feel I could handle it. I've dealt with many abused children and suicidal kids, they just find me somehow.me&thegals said:
