foster parenting

[okiegirl1]

My hubby and I are also in the process. We thought of fostering, but have decided to adopt thru our state social services. They have a foster to adopt program, so that's what we'll do.

We have so many people in our church that have fostered and I don't think I could handle returning these kids to a known abusive situtation. We want two siblings, 3-4 and under.

We've had one home study and will be attending classes in a couple months.

I can say this isn't anything that is fast. This is teaching patience.

 

[Big Daddy]

They have a program in Denver that is foster to adopt. They actually train you as a foster parent. Then they only place kids that are most likely going to have parental rights terminated. It's a tough program. Terminating parental rights takes 12-24 months. You don't know the baby is yours until the adoption judge congratulates you. Done it 5 times as a regular foster parent. It's a serious emotional roller coaster.

Good luck. Just remember it's never a sure thing till the papers are signed and the gavel is dropped.

 

[okiegirl1]

our social worker said they only place children that the bio-parents rights have been terminated or at the end stage of termination. She did say that there is always a chance (like you said) but we would know going into it at what stage the termination was at.

our parenting classes are every Saturday or 2 MONTHS!!!!

 

[Big Daddy]

our social worker said they only place children that the bio-parents rights have been terminated or at the end stage of termination. She did say that there is always a chance (like you said) but we would know going into it at what stage the termination was at.

our parenting classes are every Saturday or 2 MONTHS!!!!

If everyone had parenting classes there would be a lot less kids in foster care.

 

[Wifezilla]

My mom and dad tried foster parenting. A little boy was brought to our home on his first birthday. He was so sweet and adorable. He was supposed to be with us for a couple of months, but instead we had him for 3 years. His parents were not abusive or neglectful, just terribly terribly poor. It took them quite a while to get back on their feet. Once they did, we returned him. Broke our hearts, but his parents were actually not jerks, so it was a good thing.

After that mom decided it was too emotionally draining. Instead of more foster kids, she had my little sister.

 

[Big Daddy]

My mom and dad tried foster parenting. A little boy was brought to our home on his first birthday. He was so sweet and adorable. He was supposed to be with us for a couple of months, but instead we had him for 3 years. His parents were not abusive or neglectful, just terribly terribly poor. It took them quite a while to get back on their feet. Once they did, we returned him. Broke our hearts, but his parents were actually not jerks, so it was a good thing.

After that mom decided it was too emotionally draining. Instead of more foster kids, she had my little sister.

That's why we adopted so many. Of course we had 98 children in 10 years. Obviously most went back to their parents. Some went to other adoptive homes.

 

[Firefyter-Emt]

Wow.... Big Daddy, that is sure a lot of kids! How many did you have on average at a time?

We are only doing one at a time (it's all we have room or energy for)

 

[Big Daddy]

Usually 2-4 at a time. Some stayed for 2 days. Some for months. The adopted ones stayed for years

 

[me&thegals]

I'd been thinking about opening this one up again, so it was great to see it open

We had our first home study last week, our next one scheduled right after Christmas. Our agency contact wants to get us licensed ASAP.

BD, you have my worried now. I have been working from home since my son was born almost 10 years ago, but the clinic I work for has requested I start working at the clinic come January. Because of this, we will only be able to have school-aged children. Oh, those stories about older kids, though.

Okiegirl1--That's a LOT of training! Our training for non-treatment foster care was 3 Saturdays, that's all. Didn't really feel like enough, but our contact person is very open to questions, e-mails and phone calls once we start the process.

We only have room for 1 child (do they allow siblings to share rooms?) since we have only 1 spare bedroom, so that will probably make things easier, not being able to take large sibling groups.

What I would really like is to start out super, super easy, build our confidence and understanding of the whole process, and then hopefully have the energy and enthusiasm to continue fostering for a long time.

Firefyter--Thanks for sharing an update on your experience! I've been wondering how things were going for you


Does anybody have any excellent books about foster parenting?

 

[me&thegals]

Just updating here---and feeling a little blue. We were finally licensed around Feb 2010. In August, we had 2 girls for 2 hours. Then, this past week we had a 10-month-old boy and his 5-year-old sister. They were such easy sweet kids. Their mom got them back today. I was surprised at how hard it was to see them go. It has been an absolutely crazy 5 days (husband is working 16+ hours per day during combining season), but they already had a spot in our hearts.

Any other fostering news, anybody?