Hen23's Journal~Goodbye

[glenolam]

Well - I made it to North Stonington today Henrietta

But I guess if it saves me from having to use a PTO day I'm all for it. My son was excited there was no kindergarten, but thankfully his daycare is AWESOME and never closes unless they loose power. Even then they stay open until they legally can't be. So he got to go in sweatpants and slippers...lucky kid.

TanksHill - what's IEP?

 

[Henrietta23]

Glad you made it in safe and sound and can save that day for another time. I am home with an ever shrinking paycheck. I will make up for it when the school year is extended or we lose days from our April vacation though. It all evens out. It just means careful budgeting for the winter.
An IEP is an Individual Education Plan for kids with special needs of any kind. Could be educational, behavioral, physical, social, or in the case of what I do, communication. It's a legal document that tells how the school will make modifications for that student in all areas of their education.

 

[glenolam]

Hmmm....how do you go about getting that? My son isn't taking to school very well. He doesn't do too well with change and while as he's gotten older he's done a lot better he still has trouble concentrating and snapping out of his "I can't do this" modes. I wonder if something like that would help him? They've had to call the school social worker in a few times when he refused to calm down or do his work and they've had him work with the OT on a few occasions to better his writing skills. We got two notes sent home from the teacher within a week of each other because he had a "challenging day". IMO - NO CRAP! These kids have been out of school for days due to the snow/ice and for some it's hard to get back into the routine. But alas, we're just pawns in the school system.

Now, in my mind they put a lot of pressure on a 5 yr old these days, but I also understand standards are a lot higher than when I went to school.

 

[Henrietta23]

Hmmm....how do you go about getting that? My son isn't taking to school very well. He doesn't do too well with change and while as he's gotten older he's done a lot better he still has trouble concentrating and snapping out of his "I can't do this" modes. I wonder if something like that would help him? They've had to call the school social worker in a few times when he refused to calm down or do his work and they've had him work with the OT on a few occasions to better his writing skills. We got two notes sent home from the teacher within a week of each other because he had a "challenging day". IMO - NO CRAP! These kids have been out of school for days due to the snow/ice and for some it's hard to get back into the routine. But alas, we're just pawns in the school system.

Now, in my mind they put a lot of pressure on a 5 yr old these days, but I also understand standards are a lot higher than when I went to school.

They do pressure them! When DS was struggling in 2nd grade I asked the teacher to set up a Child Study Team meeting. That brought everything to the attention of the right people. His issues were focus and attention related. Unfortunately that meant the school psychologist immediately started pushing for us to get him on ADHD meds. He hasn't even been diagnosed with it!! Long story short (unless you really want to sift back through my journal) we did out the check lists, talk his pediatrician who didn't think ADHD was the issue (just active, bored 7 yo). We got him to a naturopath who found numerous food allergies. When we took him off those foods we saw quite an improvement. It didn't solve everything. He still struggles to stay focused but to some extent he has old habits to unlearn. His classroom last year was crowded and chaotic with a disorganized teacher who was constantly on the phone texting with her 6 sons (2 of whom are bipolar so she has a LOT going on!!) Anyway, we pulled him out of the public school and put him into the Catholic school. It seems to be a good choice for us. He's doing academically much better. I don't know if you know anything about Windham and our schools. We struggle. Lots of behavioral issues. So you have a class of 27 2nd graders and 2 are Autistic, at least 3 probably have diagnosed social emotional issues, 75% or more have ADD/ADHD and you have chaos on a good day!
So, off allergic foods, on some good natural supplements, eating healthy foods, we're getting there!
He is out with his dog, his tobaggan and a shovel. I asked him to shovel the steps. He's got one more paragraph to write. But it's going to be really cold this weekend so he needs to be out today with fresh snow and blue skies, being a kid.

 

[abifae]

His issues were focus and attention related. Unfortunately that meant the school psychologist immediately started pushing for us to get him on ADHD meds. He hasn't even been diagnosed with it!! Long story short (unless you really want to sift back through my journal) we did out the check lists, talk his pediatrician who didn't think ADHD was the issue (just active, bored 7 yo). We got him to a naturopath who found numerous food allergies. When we took him off those foods we saw quite an improvement.

I love you

I'm sooo tired of hearing about kids who have trouble in school and are thrown on medication. That's RARELY what they need.

We struggle. Lots of behavioral issues. So you have a class of 27 2nd graders and 2 are Autistic, at least 3 probably have diagnosed social emotional issues, 75% or more have ADD/ADHD and you have chaos on a good day!

Welcome to my little world. Bwahahahaha!!!

He is out with his dog, his tobaggan and a shovel. I asked him to shovel the steps. He's got one more paragraph to write. But it's going to be really cold this weekend so he needs to be out today with fresh snow and blue skies, being a kid.

I did mention I love you, right??



My step mom actually got mad at me for forcing her kids to go play after every 30-60 minutes of homework. I said, but they are totally finished within 2 hours for me and it takes almost 4 for you with your "sit at the table til it is done rule!"....

Needless to say, we don't get on well.

 

[glenolam]

Absolutely agree with being outside. The last paragraph can wait until it's dark!

It's hard for us right now because there's little communication about what happens during his school day. Not that it's because they refuse to talk to us, but that it's really hard when both parents work all day, the teacher is only available to talk between 8 - 8:30, then 3:30-4:30 and all other school officials want to discuss stuff when I'm at work and don't want to talk aloud (can't they just email me!?!). They did tell me in the beginning they were putting him in some program, but that's it. Our P/T conference lasted all of 15 min and that's because I dragged it on as long as I could until she tapped her watch and said the next parent was waiting. I am long winded (heh - can you tell!) but it was more because I want to hear about his day from someone other than him who just says "I had a good day" and that's that.

 

[abifae]

I am long winded (heh - can you tell!) but it was more because I want to hear about his day from someone other than him who just says "I had a good day" and that's that.

Considering most of us at SS take three paragraphs to say "I agree"... you're in good long winded company

Are they willing or able to give you a longer time if you ask for, specifically, 30-60 minutes?

 

[Henrietta23]

Parent teacher conference aren't good for getting beyond grades. That was our breaking point. We thought everything was going along okay last year. DS was doing his best. Teacher was doing everything she could to help him learn given his personality and learning style. At our spring conference SHE brought up how much worse everything was. ALL the other kids in the class were progressing and he wasn't at all. We really had to deal with it because he wasn't going to be emotionally or socially ready for 3rd grade. Then she tapped her watch and kicked us. I couldn't breathe!
Now, bear in mind, my mom, a 35 year veteran retired teacher, had started subbing in his school. She witnessed what was going on in his classroom, talked to the paraprofessionals who worked in there, SAW this woman texting or emailing constantly.... Administration knew and didn't seem to do anything about it. We had our CST meeting, got the feeling that if we didn't medicate him, they were going to put zero effort into modifying anything for him. His teacher went so far as to say, "At least get a diagnosis and get him labeled so we can make modifications..." WHY would I get him diagnosed with something neither we, nor his pediatrician thinks he HAS!!! The next week we signed the papers to send him to private school this year. Once they found out about that, they wrote him off and didn't even try. The kid's not stupid. Once she stopped pushing him to do much, that's exactly what he did. Not much!
Mom still subs in that school. Nothing has changed. She tutors the daughter of one of the 4th grade teachers. This girl is in DS's class at the Catholic School. She wouldn't dream of sending her son to the school where she teaches!

 

[glenolam]

Wow, hen...sorry to hear that! We're really new to this school system so I'm not sure about the workings just yet. My good friend just accepted a position as a math teacher at Helen Baldwin so I try to get info from her when I can. I found out in the orientation that his kindergarten teacher is actually someone I went to High School with. She was a grade below and thankfully? I didn't hang out with her often. But I don't know what she thought of me and I'd hate to think she'd write my son off if I ever did something I know I'd regret today (not that I recall doing anything bad to anyone at that age, but I can't say that there's no one who didn't like me).

A - asking for a longer conference is definitely something I'm going to do at the next one. I wasn't aware we were ONLY going to be given 15 minutes. Had I known that I would have put up more of a fight when I was given a 3 pm meeting time when I requested any time between 5 - 7 pm because both dh and I had to work that day. I just figured earlier in the day meant I could ask more questions...

 

[Henrietta23]

Wow, hen...sorry to hear that! We're really new to this school system so I'm not sure about the workings just yet. My good friend just accepted a position as a math teacher at Helen Baldwin so I try to get info from her when I can. I found out in the orientation that his kindergarten teacher is actually someone I went to High School with. She was a grade below and thankfully? I didn't hang out with her often. But I don't know what she thought of me and I'd hate to think she'd write my son off if I ever did something I know I'd regret today (not that I recall doing anything bad to anyone at that age, but I can't say that there's no one who didn't like me).

A - asking for a longer conference is definitely something I'm going to do at the next one. I wasn't aware we were ONLY going to be given 15 minutes. Had I known that I would have put up more of a fight when I was given a 3 pm meeting time when I requested any time between 5 - 7 pm because both dh and I had to work that day. I just figured earlier in the day meant I could ask more questions...

I forgot to mention something! I worked at Chaplin Elementary with someone from your town. Her kids have gone and are still in the system. So she's a teacher, but knows the schools as a parent. She's not only a teacher, she's really good. And they moved while our boys were in first grade and made sure to stay in town because they like the schools so much. Good sign! So you've got two resources and connections if needed. She's be more than happy to talk to you I'm sure!