Hillfarm - good news, thank heavens.

[MorelCabin]

lwheeler, this could be me writing this EXACT same thing a couple of years back! My son was the same. They need some growing up time on thier own and alot of prayer. My son doesn't try for the easy way out anymore...he was homeless on the street for a few years, and I refused to help him because I was his easy way out and it didn't come with any respect.
It hurt terribly and every time the phone rang I thought someone was bring him home in a body bag..but he would have destryed all of us had I let him. He DID learn! Today he is working two jobs...and is actually holding them...he could never hold a job until this past year...always got fired within days.
But things are finally changing...HE is changing, his attitude has changed, and that is what made the difference. He calls us often now and is proud of himself, and we are pretty proud of him for the most part!

 

[dragonlaurel]

I think Morel and you are right. Tough love is needed here. She can't face herself and start making things better without it. She needs to earn your trust by getting her self together. I hope it happens soon.

 

[FarmerDenise]

You sure are in a tough spot. Hugs to you, you'll need lots of them.

 

[hillfarm]

I have followed the advice given. I let her know I loved her but for the safety of those I am responsible for, I could not have her in our lives until I was secure that he was no longer a part of hers. She has already lied twice saying she was having no further involvement and it was proven otherwise by family she talked to and by having him friended still on facebook.
Seems she is accepting large amounts of cash from him, she has a new car, a 600 dollar tattoo on her thigh and other lil treats. Im sick because she thinks hes just making up for lost time. I know he's paying in advance for her silence. She's an idiot and it may cost her everything. I was just as dumb at her age, but no one was there to warn me of what a monster he was. She has full notice and still allows her greed to direct her. ughh.

I have done all I know how, notified family that he is in the picture. Applied for a concealed handgun license. I havent contacted the local police. That's the next step. My daughter has informed everyone I have "shunned" her from the family.
I do see the manipulation. Its so hard to have so much anger from this person you love so much. It's like a horrible divorce. And I hate it.
Hopefully this will settle down and she will grow up and pull her head out soon before she's really hurt.
I researched the ex, seems he made a killing in the California real estate and is retired and extremely wealthy. Great. He has evil and money. Just makes me ill. My poor stupid daughter has no chance. He's the most charming man you'll ever meet. Till he has you dependent. Then its the darkest nightmare ever.

If there is a god, he sure never liked me or mine.

 

[hillfarm]

On a lighter not. yep, the hits just keep coming.

The other ex and I had to go to court for the umpteenth time to settle allthe past due childsupport he owes us.
Ruling: Seriously. Insert vomit here.
Judge Jackson felt the need to reduce the whopping 400 a month I receive for our two kids, to 250. Seems refusal to get a job reduces your support below the required minimum for somone who makes minimum wage. which is 287.
There is no reason he cant work, just wont. So the Navarro county courts decided to give him a discount. Awesome.
If I chose not to work the courts would take my kids. But a deadbeat can sit and do nothing but get high and lie and fail to pay and he gets sympathy. This will affect my childrens life. In a negative.
What about get a job??????? Two if you can only make minimum. This man lives with his mother and sleeps all day. And the court condones it and rewards it. My suggestion- if you dont want to support your kids, move to texas.

So once again, he wins because he will lie and cheat to put money in his own pocket. I am carrying all the weight of the children he brags on.

Like I said before. I dont know what I did to piss off the higher ups, but Holy crap, when do I ever see the reward of doing right and trying.

Ok. This week is my pity party. :bun Maybe the world will seem brighter tomorrow.

 

[Wifezilla]

 

[hillfarm]

Thank you to everyone for letting me vent, giving me positive and constructive advice. It makes it feel a lot less crushing. You'd be amazed at how much these lil forums mean.

I did want to add a lil positive. Our dog we adopted is doing great.
My 8 year old will dig in the dirt while Rocky watches and then as soon as he leans back, the dog jumps in to the dirt and digs furiously. Its the cutest thing ever.

My hens have a new man in their life. He treats them very well, just a bit friskier than they are really used to. But hey, its a new romance, I figure things will settle eventually. I'm hoping my EE hen will decide to go broody and make me some more chicks. Here's to hoping.

The garden is doing well. I love my sanctuary. It - no pun intended- grounds me to have that quiet place I can rest my mind, and my anger and frustration.

My husband is the best man on earth. He has stood beside me threw all this and I dont know how I got so lucky. My two kids at home are beaautiful and healthy and again, Im so very lucky.

Planted a pomegranite bush, only it gets 20 feet high and 15 feet wide. Might need to replant that "bush". yikes. Bluberries are budding again. they made it threw a pretty harsh texas winter. Daffs are blooming and roses are putting off new leaves. Life has a way of just moving on. Maybe thats what I need to remember and do.

Let it go....

 

[MorelCabin]

Things will work out okay in the end. Kids really do need to learn it all on thier own, and they do get hurt. Let her go for now, and I am not promising it is easy...it is VERY hard, and you will cry alot of tears...but you have to really give the Lord control, and then rest in the fact that he has a plan for her life...which he definitely does!

 

[hillfarm]

Thanks. Its been a really ruff couple of years. Financially we have been put threw the ringer by this ex who refuses to pay but spends thousands to sue me for any wild hair he gets.
We have had blow after blow.
I have had several surgeries in the last two years from Lyme disease related stuff. Husband has had a hard time with lay offs. I was told I wouldnt have a job next school year. So what the heck, why not have child support lowered even more? gosh we dont need it. we are rolling in dough.I really hate the way the courts decide to do things. Makes me so angry.

Somedays you should just stay in bed. I do want to believe that life is good mostly. What hurts now is temporary.
I want to remember how important it is that i have a strong wonderful husband beside me. Two amazing kids, and one who will hopefully heal thyself. I have a home. I can pay my bills for the most part. I have a job for now. Im passing all my classes. I have three cool chickens, a great dog, a garden, two running cars, a comfy bed and lots of love.

I do want that to always be my focus. I just wish I didnt have to always have pain, whether it be physical or emotional. Thats the suckky part about life. Cripes. Im really having a meltdown.

Positive. Positive thinking. I can do it.

 

[MorelCabin]

Well, I have to say that you are taking the right course...counting your Blessings Now you just have to learn to have a trusting relationship with God so that your stress levels can relax a little