J, im sure this is the last place you want to be today of all days...but IF you happen to read this....just know...you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
As you know I can not post or say facts about the case as a gag order has been ordered. Please do not judge us (the wife and I) until ALL the facts come clear, prepare for the shock in advance. That is all I have to say about that.
When the facts are allowed to be told in public, you will understand why I ask you to continue to pray as I try to return to some kind of normal life. I encourage all of you or some of you to follow the trial as it happens.
I laid the folks to rest yesterday, as I spoke, tears filled my eyes as I finished this poem.
"The Final Inspection"
The policeman stood and faced his God,
Which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining.
Just as brightly as his brass.
"Step forward now, policeman.
How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek?
To My church have you been true?"
The policeman squared his shoulders and said,
"No, Lord, I guess I ain't,
Because those of us who carry badges
can't always be a saint.
I've had to work most Sundays,
and at times my talk was rough,
and sometimes I've been violent,
Because the streets are awfully tough.
But I never took a penny,
That wasn't mine to keep....
Though I worked a lot of overtime
When the bills got just too steep.
And I never passed a cry for help,
Though at times I shook with fear.
And sometimes, God forgive me,
I've wept unmanly tears.
I know I don't deserve a place
Among the people here.
They never wanted me around
Except to calm their fear.
If you've a place for me here,
Lord, It needn't be so grand.
I never expected or had too much,
But if you don't.....I'll understand.
There was silence all around the throne
Where the saints had often trod.
As the policeman waited quietly,
For the judgment of his God.
"Step forward now, policeman,
You've borne your burdens well.
Come walk a beat on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in hell."
I felt the deepest sorrow in my heart that I have ever felt, my soul has been worn thin, thou I hold my head high.
I wondered what Linda and dad would have me do if they could speak to me. I know they both would want me to hold them fond in memory and take a serous positive life lesson and remember them. I know they would't want me to sit around and feel sorry for myself, they would want me to get on with my lfe and continue to take care of the kids and shape their young minds.
I have a ton of work to get done, so I am in a slow first gear for the rest of the week. I plan to pick things up next week and get everything back in a production line as I shut work down to deal with these issues.
The garden is on hold due to weather and I need to get my broc planted as soon as I can get in there.
I hope my sleep patterns return soon as I have been exhausted and will take this weekend to rest my body and mind.
Oh oh oh...that poem brought tears to my eyes too. I'm sure your Dad is proud of how you conducted yourself at their ceremony. We will await the news, but more importantly to us distant cyber friends is how you and your family are doing. You should know that we are all here to listen well, comfort softly, and lend a strong shoulder, while providing a part of our strong hearts to you so that your's heals.
i've been watching the local news for any more coverage, but the last updates were when their grandson was located. hopefully as more becomes known (well, you probably know a lot more than the reports) it will help you put this pain to rest.