Jason closes his journal... Thanks!! I love you!!

[TanksHill]

Good to hear your doing well Jay.

No more kids here. Thank goodness fixed that with my last. Summer for us has been unusually cool. It's not over yet though. We should get a bit of heat for Aug and Sept. I am not complaining.

My garden is going well. I am home a lot this summer so it is receiving my full attention. I have squash and cucumbers coming out my ears. That and I hide from my kids out there. Only if I had a corn field.

Working on a re fi for my house. Trying to drop the rate a bit. Dh has received a promotion with his new company. A lot more responsibility but not much money. Hopefully they will appreciate him soon.

The kids go back to school on the 23rd. I can't wait. I am having a birthday BBQ for DS1 and DD2 a the end of Aug. If your in the area feel free to bring the family by.

Take care.

gina

 

[2dream]

Jay, glad things are feeling better. Its a long road sometimes.

I won't hi-jack your journal with all the goings on in my life over the last few months. Some of it is in my journal and I will leave that to you to read if you have time. But no new grandchildren (thank goodness) and I am still smoking. Need to dig really deep and give quiting a shot. One day.....but not right now.

Hang in there

 

[justusnak]

Jay,
So good to hear you are doing well. I am glad to hear thedivision of the estate is going "smoothly" Thats the area where most families fall apart.
Keeping busy here..help keep the mind from wandering.
Go on over to my thread when you get a chance, soo how my corn is coming along...and the taters! So far its looking like companion gardening is working for me. The truth lies in the harvest tho. Should know in a few weeks the final results.
Take care..you all are still in my prayers.

 

[kcsunshine]

Aren't those Amish farmers innovative? Down our way they have a set-up where a horse walks on a treadmill sorta thingy (like my technical terms?) and it pumps water out of the creek into their holding tanks and that's how they water their crops. I've never seen it working, but there's usually a lantern nearby so you know they've been working at night so the horses won't be so heat stressed.

MP, I'm happy to hear you are in the healing process. You and your family are still in my prayers.

 

[lorihadams]

That is so cool! I would love to see that! We have Mennonites close to where Granny lives but I've never seen that!


We're doing alright....kids are crazy, getting ready to put the old house on the market next week, doing our second round of VBS with the kids, and no garden to speak of. Gonna get it ready for next year as soon as the heat subsides a bit. Too hot to plant fence posts and build raised beds right now.

 

[modern_pioneer]

Wanda I read your journal and sad about your mom, yet happy that you understood that it was part of life. I am some what clear on my issue and you gave me strength as Debbie has. Your mom was 89, and lived her life as God planned and it was just like my moms life, just a part of who we are.

I admit I find comfort with reading your journal, as selfish as it may seem, it helped me to cross over into a different view on life. Debbies did as well, she had great pain and helped me by being there for me and understanding.

Last weekend went off without a hitch, as Richard kept his sisters away while I, Danielle, Mickey and Jo packed up dads things. Mickey and Dad have been friends for over 50 years, they were school friends. Richard kept saying about his troubles with his sisters, and I asked for Dads China (Fannin inscribed) he said no. Kinda funny none of them carry the last name Fannin, just a poke I guess.

But I moved on to not bicker or fight about these things.

I gave Mickey, whos picture was all around the house, something from Dad as I think he would want me to give him that as a sign of friendship.

I harvested my tater baskets today which had one fill, and I neglected them as much as my onions and garlic. I realized today how this has impacted my life, and I needed to find comfort.

There is no way I will allow that punk to change my life anymore, he will be tried as an adult, and that is that.

I have my own family/friends to say hello and love... Jason

 

[justusnak]

Jay...so glad to hear you are taking your life back. Its part of the grieving process...now you are ready to move on. Oh, trust me, the pain will never go away completly...however, it will get easier, I am told. I still have terrible days when all I want to do is curl up on the sofa with a blanket and cry. I say a prayer to God to help me with this pain, and to give me strength....and He does! Then I drag my butt outside, crying or not, and get busy doing whatever I can find to do. Sometimes its really hard labor...sometimes its easy like pulling weeds. But, I busy my mind...and the pain eases. I pray for you to have peace once again in your mind and family. You WILL. You are a strong man...a great dad and husband.

 

[2dream]

Jay, glad something I wrote was a comfort to you in some way. If you read enough of my journal you also know my husband has Lou Gehrigs Disease along with lung cancer. We have chosen to make every moment count. Of course we always did, even before he got sick.

I am so glad you have decided to move forward and not allow this person to have any more control over your emotions and life. Life can be long for some short for others.

I am reminded of "The Dash" poem.

http://www.katdowney.com/upload/KatDowney/The_Dash_Poem.pdf

 

[FarmerDenise]

I think of you often.

I was just thinking about my nice again today. The one who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge when she was 14. I barely knew her. She is really SO's niece. But she was a nice kid. I would have loved to have had the opportunity to watch her grow up, go to college, get a carrer, or marriage, or having kids....
I never got over her death. It changed my life profoundly. It changed my life priorities.
Like today, my sister who lives in another state is coming to visit. I am soo exited. There would have been a time, where I would be frantically cleaning my house. Not today. I am on here, doing my usual chores and thinking about what to make for our dinner.
Visiting with her is more important than me worrying about having a spic and span house. I am not going to tire myself out cleaning and taking care of the farm. I am taking care of my usual chores and looking forward to fixing something good to eat that comes from the garden. She is bringing the meat and the wine

 

[modern_pioneer]

I moved my compost piles into the garden, and I remember a log forgotten project that was side lined by my ability to safely move debris safetly from one location to another. Because my IH Super C has a pony front end, I was worried about rolling it down the hill.

Originally my idea for the woods was to clean up all branches and stumps, and plant grass and make a walking trial with natural benches and sitting areas. Along with deer resistance flowers planted about, as well as large decorative rocks. I have plenty of ferns and ground pine to locate around.

With my new tractor it is now possible to move debris as well get to those areas safely, I look forward to getting started on this project this fall. I am starting by by making a plan of what I want the area to look like, and look at different materials to use on the walk path as well as materials I have on hand. I plan to name the trial after Dad and Linda, can you help me with a name?

I was listing to Mumford & Sons song, After the Storm, and it describes many feelings I have.

And after the storm,
I run and run as the rains come
And I look up, I look up,
on my knees and out of luck,
I look up.

Night has always pushed up day
You must know life to see decay
But I won't rot, I won't rot
Not this mind and not this heart,
I won't rot.

And I took you by the hand
And we stood tall,
And remembered our own land,
What we lived for.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

And now I cling to what I knew
I saw exactly what was true
But oh no more.
That's why I hold,
That's why I hold with all I have.
That's why I hold.

I will die alone and be left there.
Well I guess I'll just go home,
Oh God knows where.
Because death is just so full and mine so small.
Well I'm scared of what's behind and what's before.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

A wonderful live acoustic version, IT JUST WARMS MY SOUL...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZMUgZRew3w

I have enjoyed going back to church, and as always the fellowship that it brings.

I decided to pick up the guitar after 22 years, though very rusty, I am taking a few class to teach me how to read music. Before I played by ear and only learned a few songs. I sound nice when I sing and think I have a pleasant voice to listen to, not to harsh on the old ear drums so some folks say.

Is anybody here interested in my 1954 international harvester?