Jason closes his journal... Thanks!! I love you!!

[modern_pioneer]

I spent time with Dad last week, as strange as it might seem to be, for the first time since his murder or in our living lives we sat above the pond together and had a couple hours talking about everything. I am a man that loves Jesus and has a on going relationship with God, I have never had such a time before in my life.

I have never spoken to my Mom, nor any other dead person related or friend killed in my life. I have never sat with a follow soldier or family member and had any sort of conversation. This is a first for me, and I am not one to claim any connection to the spirit world or anything other than Dad needing to talk to me.

So there he was, I am not sure where I came into the picture, and we sat together above the pond with the sun just over our shoulders. He looked pretty good, dressed as he would have been, and took off his ball cap. I looked for wounds and saw nothing, and he laughed and asked me to talk to him, as he let me know that he could only be with me for a short period of time and I needed to listen.

I kicked around a few things with him and made a point to hold his hand. Dad has big hands and always clean nails. Just the same how I held his hand as a child... The hair on his hands was thicker and more hearty than when I was a kid. I felt secured holding his hand as I did did as a child, and I am 40 y/o now.

We spent a couple hours together, talking, laughing and covering some things he wanted to share with me.

There was no good bye, he just looked at me, his hand on my shoulder, and he was gone.

I am sure he had unfinished business here on earth and needed to talk to me, and he finished that business in a sort of dream like state and so it is.

Has/have you spoken with a dead/spirit in your life?

 

[dragonlaurel]

I'm glad you got to be with him for a while. He can't be around all the time, but he made sure to come to you and he will always love you. Some spirits are better at visiting than others. I don't know if she (your Mom) will have the ability or not.
Most people appear in good condition when you see them "after". Why would a spirit look like the one worst day of their life?
My Great Grandma came to me when I was in danger once. She told me how to deal with the situation and stayed till I was safe again. I was hearing her talk to me then. I felt her again, years later, before I remarried my husband. She was just happy for me.
I have seen spirits but rarely. Got surprised by an old man in my Mom's house one time. He was startled too, and just disappeared. I saw something dark/nasty once in a different place but I was safe.
My old mobile home was also haunted. She seemed okay, but she liked to have all the doors open. She had been very depressed and died from drinking a couple years before I moved in. I think she got "stuck" from not feeling like she was good enough for heaven (or bad enough for he!!). I told her she would probably be forgiven, since she was a good person that just had been through too much. She moved on afterwards.

 

[murphysranch]

Sorry - can't type well enough. I've got tears in my eyes...

 

[TanksHill]

I am so happy for you. I think this time with your Dad is what you both needed. Comfort, love and healing.

 

[justusnak]

What a wonderfull day you had, with your dad! I sometimes wish I could have that one last time with my son as well. What a great way to heal. I am so happy for you J.

 

[modern_pioneer]

There were strange going ons in the last few months of their lives, and I have to be careful what I post. Dad had certain conversations with Mickey and his wife in Nov 2009 which made him move contents of one of his security lock boxes. It wasn't place back into another box until January of this year. When I opened the box, having one of the keys, the box was filled with contents as well as dirt and dried weeds.

Dad had said he was going to bury his old car in a hole on his property because it was good to him. The contents of the box, was his lifes collection of paper money and coins. I suspect he had pulled it out of their bank, buried it til he was ready to put it in his bank.

He seemed to ignore some of my questions, he reminded me a some good times we shared together, offered instructions on what he thought I needed to do in life.

I asked about his missing guns, he pointed and mentioned that I didn't need to have them and the "the one who took them" needed them more than we did as he was selling them for his own interest. He said guns were dangerous and I should always keep mine locked up.

We were in a light filled, light green and black color world as we spoke.

He did tell me that what has happened, has made him happier. He said his last months here were controlled by a teenage boy who was disturbed since before he entered the world. Dad said that his month was doing drugs at the time he was growing in the womb and he saw it all himself. He said he had sent Linda away to shop to get away from him. "we were trapped by him in our own home, and if we did anything to correct his actions he would call child protective services and we would be accused of all sorts we didn't do."

I asked him at that time why he didn't call and ask me for help, he became angry and said. " what could you have done that we weren't doing? What could you have done that social services didn't try to do? Why would I put the safety of the other two grandchildren at risk? He said he was scared for some time but never thought he would be killed by him. He said that he didn't belive the trash and lies he was telling everyone about the family.

Dad suspected some thing was going to happen, but Linda knew it and in her last days was making her will, which was found and not finished.

Dad told me why this time had come and he and Linda were killed, but due to the trial, I can't mention it.

I do not believe this was just a dream, but a period of communication between Dad and I. No deep secrets or big unknown questions were answered. It was a time of sharing and perhaps our final conversation together.

There is a chance it was just a dream, but in my heart, I think he visited with me.

Nothing was closed by this meeting, but these reason behind the deaths. I will say that the state was involved in that as there was some red tape that just needed to be cleared up, but in the end that didn't happen in time.

He told me to live a god life with my children and show everyone in life lots of love, than is the recipe in surrounding yourself with friends, love.

I do feel better, settled a little more, but still grieving as time heals these wounds slowly.

The rest of my life is going good and like the warm weather we are having right now.

 

[murphysranch]

Again,

I wish Daddy would come visit me. He died in 2000, during a daytime nap. I kissed him goodbye a few hours later, when his wife called us to say how she had found him. I do dream about him alot tho.

 

[Wannabefree]

Sorry about how your dad died. Whether a dream or some sort of visit, or just your minds way of coping, doesn't matter really. You have had the blessing of time spent with him. Sometimes I wish for the same with my daddy. You are very fortunate indeed

I have been trying to catch up on this journal. I find your writing style and stories very interesting but...with being so busy myself.... I am JUST on page 35...so i'm a year or so behind! I'll catch up eventually. This thing just flows like a novel and is an easy read when I get to steal a few moments away from chores.

I just wanted to drop in and say it's great you have a new connection with your dad, I hope it is a comfort to you.

 

[modern_pioneer]

Sorry about how your dad died. Whether a dream or some sort of visit, or just your minds way of coping, doesn't matter really. You have had the blessing of time spent with him. Sometimes I wish for the same with my daddy. You are very fortunate indeed

I have been trying to catch up on this journal. I find your writing style and stories very interesting but...with being so busy myself.... I am JUST on page 35...so i'm a year or so behind! I'll catch up eventually. This thing just flows like a novel and is an easy read when I get to steal a few moments away from chores.

I just wanted to drop in and say it's great you have a new connection with your dad, I hope it is a comfort to you.

backwards

uoy evah ot eb ythgim luferac nehw uoy daer tahw I etirw. I thgim reets uoy ni eht gnorw noitcerid

I am some what of a silly kinda guy at times. Why just this morning me and the wife woke up on a Mississippi house boat without kids, we often make play that game as we just snuggle in the morning.

I don't have much time here today, I have to work some overtime But come next week it will be a little extra in my pockets. :bun

 

[Wannabefree]

I am mighty careful when I read what you write and you could not steer me in the wrong direction if you tried buddy!

?taht daer ot elba eb t'dluow I kniht uoy diD

And I got the punctuation correct

Houseboat in Mississippi...with NO kids....sounds like a DREAM vacation! 13 yr. old DD is driving me nuts.