Quail_Antwerp: Words from the Barnyard...

[Dace]

Congrats on your hatch...are you ever NOT hatching something? I swear if I had a 'bator I would be in trouble!

My gut says stay away from the BIL...only bad will come of it! Do not trust them Aly, they have already shown thru their actions that they are not worthy of your trust.

 

[keljonma]

Chickens are out for the time being. I sent you email.....

Congrats on the new SpSussex. I think that bday must be auction day, or maybe you have to brush the dogs' teeth that day! Sorry, I'm feeling just a tad cranky......

Hugs to you.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

We didn't go to the b-day party. We had already had plans for a sitter today so we could go set up at the local flea market. We did pretty well today, so we are pleased.

I had several pieces of Denim Days from Home Interiors. We had picked them up for next to nothing at a yard sale about a week ago. I jacked the price way up on them, as they were all from 1985 and all are discontinued pieces. This guy comes up, sees them, bought every one that I had, without asking me to come down on my prices! He said we just made his wife very happy, as she collects the Denim Days figures.

We found a few deals as well....like a pair of camo pants for Ernie for $1, and a almost new bread machine for me for $3!!

No more hatching action. Looks like we have five Speckled Sussex, and I'm pleased with that.

As far as trusting the BIL, sigh...My mind has been racing with what does he want? what's the alterior motives here? and Ernie is telling me I'm reading too much into it, and to not worry. HE believes his brother is being honest......I don't!

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

 

[delia_peterson]

Hey Quail!
I have been sick as a dog for the past week and a half..just got out of bed today and read your journal.....your in laws sound like mine. I just had to tell you that. Ya'll are in my prayers.
When my first husband passed away when I was 23, my DS was 8yrs and DD was 4. They went as far as taking me to court for them! And that was within 6 months of his passing! The private detective they hired told me after it was over (they lost!) that it was the easiest money he ever made and he actually was impressed that I was holding it together and he could tell that I LIVED for my kids just by watching me for that month. They had actually paid people I did not know to slander me and my lawyer asked me in court if I knew these people...when I said no- he walked over to them politely and reminded them of the punishment for purgery!!!!! Needless to say, they got up and walked out!
My kids are happy today. They grew up outside running around and fishing,camping and with animals. Just like their kids will. And I know I raised them right.
My side of the family was not any better and I have not spoken to them since I was 30. I am 51 now. And I have no regrets. Some times you just need to break those ties. My friends are now my extended family.

You know what they say---you can choose your friends but you cant choose your family!!!

 

[keljonma]

QA - I was sorry to read your email about Patsy's death on Friday. We were told by the vet that after a hen starts internal laying, they usually don't live more than a few months. Patsy hasn't laid an egg since December, so this wasn't unexpected. She was loved, spoiled rotten, and had a good life.

Glad to hear the flea market went well. How is the pool?

Our prayers are with you about the whole bil situation.....

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

I had a nice long post to put here in with some updating of things going on.

But I lost my phone service right in the middle of my typing, so I'm at a friends and I called in needing phone work again. I knew it was too good to last LOL

So tomorrow they are supposed to be out working the lines again. I did finish what I wanted to post in WORD so once I'm connected again at home, I'll share, but I'll warn ya'll, it's long and involved.

I also ask that ya'll pray for God's protection on my family from all inlaws.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

We took the kids to the birthday party after all. Apparantly it hadn't started as early as we had thought, and even though we were 3 hours late, the birthday girl had NOT opened her presents yet, nor had they played all the birthday games. So my kids got hit the pinata and go swimming. There was also one of those huge bounce houses shaped like a castle, that I'm only used to seeing at carnivals/amusement parks. My kids were thrilled with the bounce house.

Our niece is 3. For one 3 year old, they had two tables of presents, and one of the tables was full of presents from just her mom and dad. The party started at 3 pm, we arrived at 6 and when we left at 8 pm, they were still in full party. I realize she's their only child, and they most likely will never have another one due to medical reasons, but that IMO doesn't justify going overboard with their daughter. Plus, I don't think the party was really for the birthday girl as much as it was for the adults.

Something else we learned via the BIL, and I've confirmed as of this morning with a quick internet search: Ernie's brother, whom I've never met, had been released from prison mid-July. He's living in a half way house an hour North of us, close to the BIL who's daughter just turned 3. Infact, it was Sam who helped get the other brother into a halfway house so he could be released from prison.

Ernie's brother, Jerry, was in prison for raping his own two sons...Note, I did say rape, not molest, his own sons. He even had a reason for it: he was mad at his wife for cheating on him with a black man, so he raped their sons because there was nothing else his ex-wife loved more in this world than their boys. (He just told the family this since his release. This was not told before he went to prison, but he did plead guilty back in '93 and took the plea bargain offered.) HOW SICK CAN ONE PERSON BE?

I have never met this brother, have no desire to meet this brother, and I can guarantee you if he shows up here EVER hell's gates will be unleased.......and if he even so much as LOOKS at my kids, I'll be the one in jail.

Now that I've got that out of the way, may I just say I'll never understand this family and nor do I have the desire to. Going to the birthday party was apparantly the eye opener I really needed to convince me that having a relationship with the snooty SIL and BIL is not something I want. Until this, yes, I had hoped we'd eventually get to the point of understanding, talking, and letting cousins grow up knowing eachother, because that's how I was raised.

Not now.

Snooty BIL and SIL have ex-con BIL painting their house for them. SIL packs herself and their daughter up and goes to her mom's anytime ex-con BIL is at their house to do the painting, so he's never there when our niece is.

Hate me for saying this, I don't really care, but I would never let a Tier III sex offender near my house, let alone work for me, nor would I be helping him. I don't give a rodent's rectum if he's family. I don't give a rodent's rectum if he has "repented, got saved" or what other bull crap they want to throw at us, expecting we'll give him family support. The man has proved that family is not off limits in his mind, and since his reason to do that to his boys was to hurt his wife, what lengths would he stretch to to hurt other family members?

SIL's mom, who's house the party was at, said we have no right to judge him. She said she thinks nothing about him working on the house, being around the house her granddaughter lives in. She said she'd never leave GD alone with him, but she other wise would hate to be in his shoes, get released, and have no family support. She looked at me and as her example of why we shouldn't be hard on him said, "You aren't the same person now that you were when you were 16-" at which point Ernie and I both interrupted and said, "He wasn't 16! He was in his 20's and it was his own sons." I was surprised she didn't know that, and when I commented to that affect, she said she'd never asked! I'm sorry, but if it were me, and he's working around the house where my granddaughter lived, I'd want to know the details of who, what, how, why...etc. She even at one point looked at Ernie and said, "Well, with everything your grandmother did..." and Ernie once again cut her off and said, "What do you mean?! Grandma was already dead when he did this."

The deal BIL wants us to trust him on? The brother who was just released from prison is the one who's name is on the deed with Ernie's and their mom's name. WHO'S WITH ME WHEN I SAY I NEED TO GET THE HELL OUT OF DODGE? FORGET FIGHTING FOR THE PLACE WE'VE PUT SO MUCH INTO!

BIL has convinced ex-con BIL to sign a quit claim deed giving his third ownership to BIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He claims he's not going to keep our property, that he won't even put his name on the quit claim deed, that he's going to have Jerry sign a blank one, and give the blank one to us to put our name in it. He also told us not to tell any of the family that he's doing this, because they'll convince Jerry not to sign off.

First, who said it was his place to meddle and put his nose in it? Second, given his history, why would we trust him at all?

Apparantly, unless I find some one to help us with this ASAP, I can't do anything to stop the signing of the quit claim deed. I don't want the property going from one BIL to another BIL.

To say I'm stressed is an understatement. I feel like the inlaws butting in will result in us losing our home for the second time.

Well, here's where I'm pulling out my ace card. The local CPS told us we can contact them at any time if we need help with anything. Our caseworker said I can call her 24/7 and leave a message. You can bet that I'm telling them everything.

When they had come to do the family assessment with us one of the questions they asked was what are your stressors? Ernie and I both told them his family. She asked us to elaborate on that, so we told them everything we've been through with the inlaws...right down to losing our home, etc.

I've never felt that this place was our home, that this was where we would be living forever. It's just where God was putting us for the time. But, since then we've put a lot into it, and we've really become attached to the place.

Now I'm really praying hard that God helps us now. I am not trusting of BIL to believe he's going to help us get the ex-con BIL's name off this ground. It was too easy, if you know what I mean?

Ex-con BIL won't sign off to us, because he doesn't like ME! He blames me for his not being released 2 years ago (that's another whole story) and he doesn't like Ernie because Ernie is...you guessed it...married to me. I told Ernie I doubt that Jerry is the only one who feels that way. Ernie's family had no problems with Ernie until he married me. Mostly because Ernie and I put each other first and not the rest of the family.

Yesterday, Ernie said if we have to move again it will be to a house in town, no more farm, no more animals, just us in a house in town. I cannot survive in town. There's no way.

We were also riduculed for homeschooling our kids last night. SIL's mother told us that kids should be in public school, because there's very important things kids can learn at public school, main one being socialization. She followed that up with the only homeschoolers she seen that works are the ones who do their schooling online and get together with other homeschoolers as a big group.

Ok, first, I never told this woman we homeschool, but obviously our family is the subject of many conversations there, because not only did we have the homeschool conversation, but she also thought I was pregnant again (more on that one later). As for my kids getting socialization, we had just showed up at a party with about 30 other kids, didn't we? Here's the "socializing" we saw with out kids:

1) Bouncey House play...my kids all went down to play in the giant balloon house, as well as other kids. DD comes running up the hill and says, "Mom, there's two boys down there who won't let us in to play, and they pushed me and "K" into eachother and made us hit heads." I asked her on purpose? and she replied, "Yes, because they were chasing us trying to get us out of the house." Yep, great socialization from those public school kids there!

2) Swimming pool play...first time for my kids to get in the pool. There were a couple little girls there DD's age. She got in the pool and went up to them and asked if she could play with them, too. I never knew that 10 year old girls could give such withering looks of disdain! DD just shrugged it off, took off to the other side of the pool and had her own fun. SIL's mother told the girls, "Let's play with her, too, OK?" They didn't say a word, just nodded and kept staring at DD who ignored thier looks and had fun anyway.

I must say, I've VERY proud of my kids. All of them remembered to say please and thank you, they were very polite, and not ONCE did I have to scold one of them! Not once!

On the way home, DD asked, "Mom, are all public school kids so unfriendly?" I had to remind her that they are friends with a family of 8 kids over the hill, and that those kids are very friendly and go to public school.

My favorite conversation of the evening, though, was when SIL's mom said, "I've a touch of pneumonia, so don't get to close to me." I asked if she was contagious, and she replied, "I asked my Dr. that, too, and he just said not unless someone's immune system is already compromised, so you just keep a bit of a distance, because aren't you pregnant again?" Friends, I lost it. I said, "No I'm not pregnant!" then I hollered for Ernie and said, "Monday, we call the doctor and schedule a tubal!" To which she replied, "Well, I didn't know, you're always popping out another baby" and before I could reply, Ernie spouted, "Well, we've got to replace all those soldier boys giving their lives over seas!!"

I love my husband! I was so proud of him in that moment to! And the look on her face was priceless! She shut up in a hurry!!

Anyway, sorry this was so long. I just needed to vent a bit.

 

[Tallman]

Ernie spouted, "Well, we've got to replace all those soldier boys giving their lives over seas!!"

Ernie's back in the will!

 

[Farmfresh]

We have a child molester in our family too.

Stay as far away as possible. It is one sickness they don't ever get over. The circumstances of his arrest just prove how sick he is. I would see if he could be removed from the deed just based on his mental illness.

If you feel you could "get out of Dodge that may be a good choice as well.

More prayers for you all and lots of !

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

Right now, we don't really have the option of moving.

What has me the most scared is the quit claim deed. I am afraid once BIL gets ex-con BIL to sign it over to him, it's going to be that much harder for us to get the land signed over.

I'm going to try making some calls tomorrow, assuming my phone is still working, to see what we can do.