The mentality of some people!

[Bettacreek]

I could just scream. The BF has a lot of debt. I mean, a lot. The house was a fixer upper, which is great, $32k for the house (it was $15), then the rest was put into fixing it up and spending it on whatever other stuff he spent it on. That wouldn't be bad, except that the truck he bought was $23k or so (I forget exactly how much now), then he bought a 4-wheeler awhile back (before we met) for over $5k, then tacked the snowmobile onto that loan (which he then traded in for the truck). He also has credit card debts to pay off from when he was married (one of them was racked up by his ex-wife after they had split up, but before the divorce finalized). Now, he's talking about getting a harley, in like three years. I said it would be fine, but I want to get some of the junk paid off first, before buying more toys. PLUS, I told him that I do NOT want it to be bought on a loan. His response? "It's the American way, everyone owes a lot of money. Name three people who can just up and buy something like that and who have no debt". I quickly rattled off more than three people. I'm still irritated by it. I don't understand why ANYONE would want to be in so much debt. Sure, there are a LOT of things that I want, but I would never, ever want to be in debt for anything. There's only one thing that I would ever want to buy on a loan, and that would be a house, and would strive to get that paid off ASAP. Any toys I just don't understand. I mean, really, what happens if you can't work anymore? Not only do you loose the money already invested, but you loose your toys as well. If you had bought it out-right, used, you could have saved money in the first place, plus sell it later and BRING IN money if something happens. It just drives me insane! I really need to work on re-training him. Makes me realise that I really, really need to really grind this into my boys' minds as well.

 

[redux]

uh- not to be a downer or anything but getting into a relationship with someone who doesn't share your values with the intent of "retraining" him is probably not advisable.

 

[hwillm1977]

I have a lot of debt too... and I mean a lot... 5 years of university and 1 of college racked that up.

We bought a cheap house ($25K), will have that paid off by the end of this summer and I'm working on paying off all of my debt. I never want to buy anything on credit again, ever. I can't stand the feeling of the weight of debt hanging over me. I can't wait until the day I make the last payment on the last student loan debt and can finally say I'm free Even though that's years down the road I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I finished university 10 years ago

It may be 'the American way' to have a lot of debt, but look where that has gotten the economy... not so good really.

 

[Buster]

PLUS, I told him that I do NOT want it to be bought on a loan. His response? "It's the American way, everyone owes a lot of money. Name three people who can just up and buy something like that and who have no debt". I quickly rattled off more than three people.

You can add two more... unless my wife and I only count as one.

We are debt free except the home and never buy anything on credit. And if you look back on our history as a nation, THAT is the American way. This country was built by frugal people.

Refer him to Poor Richard's Almanac by one Benjamin Franklin.

Debt as a way of life is very very recent phenomenon.

 

[Bettacreek]

uh- not to be a downer or anything but getting into a relationship with someone who doesn't share your values with the intent of "retraining" him is probably not advisable.

You have a very excellent point. I somewhat had a money issue with my ex-husband. He would buy every DVD that came out that Tuesday, BEFORE paying any bills. He also had to have his cigarette money before bill or food money. BUT, the BF does honestly have some hope. He has broken down before and asked me if I would help him budget. He would definately be eligible for a loan to buy a bike now, but, thankfully, there's enough common sense in him to wait. He is also now willing to buy a used bike, while before, he bought everything brand new from the dealerships. The truck is a little bit iffy, we live an hour away from where he works (and where I'll be going to school), so he really did need to have a reliable vehicle, and the truck came with a warranty. We also traded the old truck, which had $15k owed on it, in for the new truck. I still don't like the price on it, or having to use a loan to get it, but, at least we will be working on cutting out the unessential loans. Most of his debt came from when he was with his ex-wife. I do think that he is "fixable", especially since he's WILLING.

 

[Ldychef2k]

I listen to Dr. Laura, so I better not respond. I know I would be just a teensy bit more confrontational than is conducive to getting along with people !!!

 

[freemotion]

I listen to Dr. Laura, so I better not respond. I know I would be just a teensy bit more confrontational than is conducive to getting along with people !!!

Something about getting into the bathtub with an alligator then being surprised and hurt when you are bitten? I haven't heard her show in years, but I did enjoy it after getting over the initial shock. Duck! Tee-hee.....

 

[Wifezilla]

I listen to Dr. Laura, so I better not respond.

Me too!


Ok, I can't resist. Sounds like someone hasn't grown up yet. I don't care what the birth certificate says, you are dealing with a 12 year old.

 

[TanksHill]

Ok, I guess I can only speak from my experience. We bought toys, RV and more toys. Some with cash some with credit. Knowing that it would take x amount of years to pay things off. Well, now my dh has had several unexpected pay cuts and if it weren't for the debt from the toys life would be really easy.

I think buying things and paying them off is a good way to increase your credit score. But it's that same process which will get you from behind if there is an income issue.

Maybe you could come to a happy medium. Pay off the smaller stuff. One item that realistically with a bit of effort won't require to much time. Then move on to the next.

Just one idea.

gina

 

[shareneh]

I seriously think you might have to seperate your expenses. Don't you think that since he is in debt now and sees nothing wrong with it he will continue to buy things on credit as long as they allow him to? He sounds like a nice guy and a lot of fun. Nothing wrong with that. But as an individual, with your own children, you need to consider the debt you want to get into. You can live together and have seperate bills to handle. You can save your money for things, he can buy his things on credit. But I really wouldn't mesh your funds together or put your name on anything because you will get burned. Sorry if it isn't what you wanted to hear but you did put it out there. I have been on both ends here and I think I know what you are going through except I was silly enough to put my name on things and ended up having to pay for toys bought on credit. Nothing will make you more bitter than paying for his toys. Trust me.